Freddie Meets Wall-E

We've been debating taking Fred to the movies for several months now and we were waiting for just the right one to test out our theory that he could make it all the way through without having to skip the last half. Wall-E came out this past weekend and it's seemed that the timing was right.


We planned the entire day out so that he'd be at his best when the movie started at exactly 4:30. Lucy ran him around the park during a local festival in the morning, I stepped up to the plate and hit a home run with a two hour nap, and then a good lunch made for a really great mood for Fred. So how did it go? Well if you subtract the fact that he stuck his hand in a urinal that hadn't been flushed in God knows how long (I made sure the water was hot for that particular hand washing). Add points for getting there just as the previews were starting. Subtract a point for forgetting that the previews lasted half an hour. And then sorta erase the parts where he shook the crap out of the empty seat in front of us and the fact he/I watched the last 20 mintues (which were about how long the previews lasted) from the entrance ramp. Overall I'd say it was a roaring success!!!


Fred loved the movie, didn't get scared during the Journey To The Center Of The Earth preview (which was an idiotic thing to put in front of a G rated movie to start with! I mean you've got an entire room full of 2-4 year-olds and you decide a scene where T-Rex is trying to eat a kid is ok?), and most of all impressed his parents with his ability to eat half a bag of popcorn. It was such a great success that our next movie just may be this one.

America's Next Top Model

Lucy found this contest hidden in the depths of this month's Parenting magazine. The winner gets flown out to New York for a cover photo shoot. Check out the pics we submitted and click on the "recommend & rate this" lines to show your support. The contest isn't based on total votes, but the support couldn't hurt. Vote here!

Entertained To Death

What with the trip to Memphis, all that was Father's Day weekend, and the new freelance work I've picked up combined with all the regular up's/down's of life....I've been stock piling a pretty good stack of entertainment just in case I ever decide to slow down.

My DVR is packed with such movies as:

• Blades Of Glory
• Disney's The Kid (love Bruce Willis!)
• The 300
• Hot Fuzz
• Ocean's Thirteen
• Batman Vs. Dracula
• The Game Plan
• The Good Year

This is just the movies! Mixed in are episodes of:

• House
• Law & Order: SVU (5 Episodes!)
• The Spectacular Spiderman
• Greensboro (Awesome new show)
• Extreme Home Makeover(100th episode!)
• Plus the usual assortment of kiddy shows like The Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, Max & Ruby, etc...

Then there are the books that I keep picking up and taking home to collect dust:

• Brother Odd (Dean Koontz)
• Freak-O-Nomics
• The Husband (Dean Koontz)
• Peace Like A River
• Boomsday (The story of a blogger who convinces Washington that they can save a ga-billion dollars by giving incentives to Baby Boomers in return for commiting suicide at the age of 75)
• One Mississippi
• The Historian
• Plus an entire bookcase of paperbacks I was given late last year and the Entertainment Weekly I go running to the mailbox for every Friday

All of this and 60 free music downloads that Lucy and I have received recently. For some reason I just can't say no to a good piece of Pop Culture and so at the moment I find myself drowning in a sea fun. Maybe you can help ole faithful reader. If you see something I listed above that totally stinks, drop me a line so I can scratch it off my To-Do-When-There's-Nothing-To-Do-List.

Fathers, Sons, And Daughters

It's hard to imagine a Father's Day weekend packed with much more fun than a night on the town alone with my lady, a round of golf with just us guys, a couple passes around the chinese buffet, an afternoon of lounging, and a light dinner at the local sandwich shop.

Walk'n In Memphis

Finally I'm back. I knew it would take a few days to catch up, but the week turned out harder than I thought. Thanks to all of you who kept asking me where I was and when they could see the pics I promised. Gigi/Steve surprised us Sunday morning and got to go to the zoo with us. Plus little man was the star of the show as we made our way down Beale Street late Saturday afternoon.

Out To Lunch

Taking Fred to the Memphis Zoo this weekend. We are taking 3 days to soak up the sites, sounds, and of course the food. I'll post some pictures late next week once I get back in the groove. In the meantime check out the two new blogs I got hired for last week: www.wrapmailblog.com and www.petsource.org (look under blog called Scribbles N Bits).

The Bald And The Beautiful

This past weekend saw another moment in Blockhead history as I went and had all my hair shaved off. Now some of you may think this is absolutely the dumbest thing I have ever done, but it's nothing compared to why I had to shave it off to start with. You see the reason I no longer have hair is because I decided I wanted a faux hawk. Not a full mohawk mind you, just a tiny faux one. The reasons behind this could be as simple as I'm completely addicted to Top Chef and there's this guy Richard Blast that is rock'n one or they could be as complex as having to do with feeling very old lately and wanting a change of some sort (I'm also on a diet which is an obvious attempt to acquire the flat stomach that time forgot). Unfortunately the hawk only lasted a few hours because I'm cursed with curly hair and the dang thing wouldn't stay straight.

For those of you who can't quite picture me without hair here is the before and after:

Funny how a new haircut can may you look different (or in my case like a woman). As you can guess I got a ton of feedback from friends and coworkers so I thought I may as well list my favorites:

• Do you still like Black People? (From a black person so don't send me hate mail)
• Did you get your hair cut at the same place as the cat?
• Wish I had the balls to do that...on second thought I'm glad I don't.
• What day do you leave for Basic Training?
• Can you move a little to the left, the glare off your head is making it hard to see
• WoW! You are taking this Charlie Brown thing to heart aren't you.
• WHAT DID YOU DO!! (From Lucy and most everyone else)

With all of these attempts at humor at my expense flying overhead, I've had time to craft a witty comeback: "My flux capasitor ran out of Uranium and I barely had to steal some so I could get back to 1802 and save the Doc. The radiation caused my hair to fall out, but lucky for him I was able to time a lightning bolt to hit a clock tower thus sending me back in time." What do you think? I know it needs more work. I gave it a shot but missed it by a......hair.

On Second Thought Let's Just Have Feetsa

"Fred what do you think about having a new baby brother or sister?
"Huh?"
"Do you want a baby sister?"
"Feetsa!!"
"I know you like pizza sweetie, but wouldn't you like a new baby?"
"Ummmm NO!!!"

"But if you were to get a new baby brother or sister you would let it sleep in your room wouldn't you?"
"Ummmmm NO!!!"
"Where would it sleep then?"
"Outside!!!"

There you have it. We tried, but we can't very well have a baby that is only allowed to sleep outside. I guess this means we'll just have to wait....and that we'll probably have feetsa for dinner tonight.

And The Winner Is......

The contest to give our bald kitty Buttons a new nickname ended Monday at midnight and the winner is......Literal Dan....and The J's. See Lucy and I couldn't agree on which nickname was the best so we decided to have two winners. Sorry Dad Stuff, but hey you still came in a close second. My favorite Senor Wrinklebum was given by Dan and I've been using it since the second it was submitted. Lucy on the other hand can't help but laugh every time she thinks of Buttons as Fluffy. So there you have it Senor Wrinklebum and Fluffy.

I'll be contacting both winners this week and we'll get together on what prizes you would like to be sent your way! Thanks for all the great ideas and who knows maybe we'll do this again soon.

Re-name Our Cat!! Win A Prize!!

With Memorial Day coming up this will probably be my last post for the week and I thought it would be cool to do something different. As you all know our cat was sorta accidently shaved last week due to a miscommunication on my part. Now that the initial horror has worn off and Lucy has had a chance to pick her mouth up off the floor, we thought it would be cool to give it a nickname.


So far we have come up with:

• Baldy
• Velvet Elvis
• Mr. Biggles-worth
• Wrinkles
• Mr. Kitty No Hair

As you can see we obviously need some help. So here's the deal leave me a comment containing what you think Buttons the cat's new nickname should be and if you're the most creative I'll send you a cool prize! As for the prize it could be anything from a slinky to a pop up book to a slightly used Rubics Cube. Contest ends Monday at midnight so leave your suggestion now!! Oh and here's a picture of our bald kitty:

Maynard And The Great Northern Bear Adventure

Lucy's boss Maynard is going bear hunting this weekend in Canada and I'm more than just a little stumped by the whole thing. First off it's not like hunting Bambi in the backwoods of Alabama. Passports, copies of birth certificates, and changes in currency were just a few of the things required for the great trip up North.

Now I'm not going to go into how I'd never be able to hunt yet don't have a problem eating meat, yet I will say if I was to pick up a rifle and play Tribal Provider you can rest assured I wouldn't be going after anything that could eat me if I accidentally grazed it's shoulder instead of catching it between the eyes. I mention between the eyes cause I know I'd never be able to sneak up on a bear in the first place and the only way I'd be able to get a shot off was if it was heading straight towards me.

I've read that the best way to protect yourself from a bear attack is to lay down and play dead. Then again I've also heard the tales of those classic clips from movies such as Faces Of Death which circulated the video stores when I was a kid. I remember one buddy telling me the clip he saw involved a dude sleeping in his tent and being eaten by a bear.....if playing dead is the answer than that shouldn't have happened.

For some reason that scene from Deliverance (squeal like a pig if you know the one I'm talking about) also flashes in my mind. Just thinking about clomping through the woods 1,000 miles from civilization (otherwise known as America) with nothing but a rifle and a hunting knife to help ward off all the pot smokers, puck heads, and wanna be unibombers that have snuck over the border to formulate a plan on "saving America from itself" makes me think that Ned Betty may not have had it so bad after all. I mean at least he was in Tennessee.

I can just see ole'Maynard clopping through the woods, camo head to toe, face painted to match the surrounding trees, one hand on his gun and the other on a Bud Light just in case it starts to get dark out. Once he makes it back I'll make him tell me all about his exploits and give you guys an update. Good Luck Maynard.

Things Heard Around The House

Lucy ”I don’t have anything to wear”

Charlie ”Why don’t you just put on that outfit you wore to the funeral yesterday?”

Lucy ”That was a wedding!!”

Charlie ”Oh. Ha. For some reason I thought somebody had died”

Lucy while driving “Out of the way you stupid granny”

Fred “Stupid Granny!! Stuuuuppiiidddd Grannnnnyyyyy!!!!”

Charlie while driving “Move you moron.”

Fred “Moron! Moron!!”

Charlie “Get down from that chair and leave that stuff alone right now!”

Fred “NO!!!”

Charlie “Get down now or it’s Time Out. Do you want Time Out?”

Fred “Yes”

Charlie “Oh…uh…Too bad. Now get down or no Time Out for you!”

Pops "Fred since you like those sunglasses so much Pops is going to let you have them"

Fred "These are my glasses Pops" As in: They were mine the second you let me put them on.

Sunshine In The Clouds

They say that everything teaches us a lesson no matter how big or small. As Christians we are taught to believe that it is not up to us to understand why things happen, but to merely offer up our lives in faith to God through the Lord Jesus Christ. It is through him that all questions will be answered, all mysteries will be solved, and all hope shall live. With this in mind sadly I’m writing today to tell everyone that our beloved Sunshine passed away in her sleep Friday morning. Though we only enjoyed her company for a week, we did everything we could to let her know that for once in her very short life she was a part of a family.

With her passing comes the perfect opportunity to do something we may have neglected as parents….explaining Heaven to Fred. Instead of changing the subject, in the days to come when Fred asks where the new kitty went he will be told of a magical place where everyone loves and there is no sorrow. Thank you to all those that shared our excitement in getting a new kitty and in our belief that she is now in a better place.

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

Well we finally did it!! Just like elections in years past and more than likely the one coming up (I’ve switched back to McCain) the majority vote in our “Should Fred Get A Kitty?” poll was completely ignored. Since Sassy and BooBoo left us over a year ago, we’ve constantly found ourselves in a debate on if the time was right to bring another bundle of joy into the family…and as you’ve probably guessed by now the answer was no so we got a kitten instead.

Something just flipped a switch inside Lucy and she decided that this Mother’s Day a new kitten would fill every hearts desire. We started looking online, then scanned the pet stores, and finally settled on an itty-bitty kitty from our local shelter. Our trick to picking a pet is if you can give it a name in the first 10 seconds of seeing it and with storms raging all around, Lucy took one look at the gray girl in the corner of the cage and proclaimed her Sunshine!!! That’s right we got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day In The Month Of May.

According to the lady at the shelter somebody just dropped her off in a box one morning before they opened and she needed some attention. We took her to the vet last Friday and though she has a couple of minor health issues such as worms and an intestinal parasite, the Doc assured us that within weeks she be as good as new.

With any new addition to a family (especially one of the Blockhead variety) come a slew of changes. Because Buttons our 8 yr old long hair barely gets along with Fred and because Fred is one lean mean house wrecking machine, we decided the first thing we needed to do was give the kitty her own room. After all every girl needs her space. With a brand new litter box (cleaned twice a day of course), an open window to the backyard, and her own bed full of tiny mice, Sunshine lives in our bathroom….I know that last part sorta killed the mood, but in order for us to ensure Buttons wouldn’t eat her and just until the two get used to each other we have to keep them separated most of the time (mainly during the day while we are working to feed everybody).

Fred loves her of course though he keeps going all “Lenny And The Baby Bunny” on her and we have to watch how close he holds her. He’s even added her to his list of things he must do every morning before he leaves for school. Splash water all over the floor during bath, run around naked with a towel over his head, watch a short episode of Curious George, kiss mommy, ring the doorbell, say “I love you Sunshine”.

Buttons on the other hand has had a bit of bad luck. First off he loves to sit in the bathroom window, but since that’s Sunshine’s room he’s forced to spend his days elsewhere. Second though we are trying to give her kitty chow, Sunshine loves to eat his adult food. He’s paying her back for this though by switching to her food. So the adult cat is eating kitty chow and the kitty is eating cat chow. Last but certainly not least I sorta had all his hair shaved off….not on purpose mind you! We took him in to get all his shots caught up and nails trimmed so Sunshine would be less at harm and I sorta said, “I need the works. Nails trimmed, bath, shots, everything.” How was I to know that in the month of May in the very hot state of Alabama that “everything” to a vet meant shaving all your cats hair off. Lucy was convinced she had been given the wrong cat and then later tried to explain to the vet "My husband doesn't know you shave cats!!!"

Before I leave you with the before and after pictures of Buttons, I wanted to pass along a couple notes on the Freelance writing front. The Best Of Blog awards I’m still the Project Mgr for are into the final stages so go over and vote for your favorite blog and as of tomorrow I’m the new blogger for Petsource.org. I should start writing by the end of the week so check me out. It’s been a few months since my lost blog job ended and I was getting more than a little discouraged but it looks like I’m back in the saddle.

Fears Of The Father

It was one of the highest slides he’d ever seen complete with metal steps and a little dip in the middle. I did the typical help him up the steps thing except this time instead of waiting for me to sit down behind him, he just took off. ZIIIPPPPP down he went so fast all I could do was watch from above and pray. The slide was a foot of the ground. Just high enough for his momentum to swing his feet under and send him face first into the gravel. As I shot down to scoop him up and wipe away the tears I was met with a scream joy and the request to have another turn.

I’ve thought about this over and over. As parents we have taken on the task of teaching our children how to make it through this world safely. “We do not touch the stove!! It’s hot! No sir! Outlets are not toys! We hold hands in the parking lot.” These are just things that will eventually lead to our child having common sense. “The stove is hot. It will burn me. I shouldn’t touch it. There are cars going everywhere. I better stick next to Mommy and Daddy.” More and more lately though I’m discovering that there’s a fine line between teaching children the value of making smart choices and passing down our own fears.

I hate heights. Not sure why. Always have. Always will. I never climb anything higher than I am and Lucy always has to hold the ladder while I clean the gutters. I don’t climb trees, I don’t jump out of swings, I don’t sit on top of the monkey bars. Does this mean Fred should be taught that these things aren’t fun? Of course not. Lucy hates bugs. Big bugs, little bugs, bed bugs. Common sense teaches Fred to not scoop up a bug and eat it. Our fears teach him to scream every time he sees one. This is just an example, but you get my point.

If he’s afraid to put his hand on the eye of the stove, I as a parent have done a good job. If he’s 15 and afraid to cook cause he might make something that tastes bad, then I’ve passed on my lack of confidence.

On the next trip up the slide I stayed close, but I didn’t climb the steps. As he sat at the top of the slope and looked around the playground, I waved and made sure that he knew no matter what happened I’d be at the bottom to catch his fall. Trying hard to resist the urge, I didn’t rush up to help him down or slow his pace. Instead I told him he could do it and I was right there waiting on him. “Don’t be scared little guy. I’ll be right here the whole time”

“ZZZZIIIPPPPPP One more time Daddy?!?!”

Recovery And Relief

Today I want to give a special thank you to all those that kept my family in their prayers over the past couple of days. Both parents made it through surgery with flying colors and by this time tomorrow both will be back home. I’m a worry wart and as morbid as it may sound the moment I heard they were both going in on back to back days, I started considering the odds that I might lose one or both. Even going as far as saying to Lucy Monday afternoon (upon hearing my mom made it through ok)  that I at least would have one parent left come Wednesday morning.

Thankfully it’s official, I am still 100% with parent! It will take a few weeks for them to get back to normal (as normal as they can get considering who we are talking about), but they should be back up and driving me nuts any day now. Thank God and thank you for your prayers.

In Surgery We Shall Meet Again

My parents have been divorced for something like 25 years and to say they have nothing to do with each other would be the biggest understatement since someone suggest Britney Spears may not be the best role model in the world. Oddly enough though on Monday and Tuesday of this week they will be coming together under the knife (literally) as they both go in for surgery.

Mom (Nani) will be traveling to B-ham, Al. to patch a tare along the walls of her stomach (or something like that. Anytime a woman begins to talk about her insides I start a mental Top 10 list of the best golf shots I’ve ever made). This will be her second trip in a year and apparently the first patch disappeared quicker than my like of anything David Blaine.

Some 2,000 odd miles away in Jacksonville, Fl. my dad will be getting ready for his neck surgery scheduled to take place the next day. I mentioned this a few weeks back and though they are not 100% positive, they seem to think it has more to do with him launching himself off a 30 foot balcony at age 13 while living in Thailand than anything hereditary (of course technically a strong case could be made that since we are practically the same person and though I have never been to Thailand the fact that I once decided I could jump out of the back of pick-up truck moving at 45mph and simply land on my feet proves that I someday too will be going under the knife for neck pain).

As a result of the surgery neither grandparent will be able to pick Fred up for several weeks, of course in the case of my dad it will be more a question of distance than his inability to pick up a 40lb bag of giggling potatoes. While neither procedure is considered “life threatening” complications are possible so I ask that you please keep them both in your prayers as well as myself since I will more than likely spend most of the weekend worrying (props to Lucy for offering to book me on a flight to Jacksonville).

Building The Perfect Child

I know it’s not possible to do, but as parents our main concern is turning this crying, crawling, crapping, cute thing into a contributing member of society. If when they are our age they are living happy normal lives, well than we’ve succeeded. If they turn out like Brit-Par-Lo-sy….then maybe something more could have been done. This being our second year as parents Lucy and I are learning just as much if not more than Fred with every passing day.

For example we no longer say “Let’s go get some chicken nuggets” or “Nani/Gigi are coming over.” This is a huge no-no! You see in Fred’s mind all he hears is “some chicken nuggets” and “Nani/Gigi”. He doesn’t understand the words “later on” or “on our way back” or “let’s go” To a two year-old there is only now and if you are offering something then you must be prepared to deliver it the moment the words fall from your lips otherwise welcome to tantrum-ville. At this point Lucy and I never discuss what we are planning for the day, we just surprise him and save him from any possible disappointment.

Another thing we are learning about Fred is that he’s quickly setting himself up to be different from other kids we know. Not different in a negative way, but different as in when parents say things like “My kid sleeps in his bed all night” or “My kid loves ice cream” or “My kids stays up to midnight every night” we say “Fred likes to come to our bed in the middle of the night” and “Fred hates sweets and would much rather eat corn than ice cream” and “Fred passes out where ever he’s at by 8:30”

We’ve noticed several other differences between Fred and other kids:

1. He loves going to school and never cries when we drop him off. As a matter of fact the promise of school is what gets him in and out of the bathtub every morning
2. He hates to leave school. He literally started throwing rocks at Lucy cause she had the nerve to try and take him home last week. (And yes he was severally beaten on the spot)
3. Fred likes to watch golf more than he likes Sesame Street. And by watching golf I don’t mean “I like to watch it while he plays in front of the TV” like somebody insinuated the other day. On the occasional Sunday afternoon he can often be seen curled up next to me watching Tiger take on the back nine.
4. Fred loves to take out the trash. In fact if he had his way that would be how he would clean house. Just throw everything in the garbage can.
5. He hates the number 1. Refuses to say it and always starts with the number two.
6. He purposely calls people the wrong name just get a laugh out of them. Na na naaa Gigi! Hahahahahaha. Da Da Da Mommy!! Hahahahaha
7. Body Slamming somebody is more fun than anything else this world has to offer. Forget the Wonder Pets and Backyardigans, if you’re laying down near my son everything other than the thought of jumping on top of you like a human trampoline just fades into the background.

It seems that here lately everyday ends with Lucy and I taking a mental inventory of how the day went in regards to Fred and what if anything we could have done better. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper” “He did really good washing his hands” “Need to spend more time Potty Training” “Time-Out seems to be working”

It’s these types of conversations that I think allow us to keep up with our progress as we try to mold a happy child. Notice I didn’t say perfect. Perfect is impossible and those who try only create monsters. No, for Lucy and I all we want for Fred is one word HAPPINESS.

I Taught I Taw A Putty Tat

With Fred fully implanted into the Terrible Two’s we seem to be constantly having to reel him in. As a parent there’s a fine line between letting your child have fun and letting him do whatever he wants. There are days Lucy and I go to bed feeling guilty for having said “NO! STOP THAT!” all day and other times when we feel we haven’t said it enough.

While we do spank, we tend to save that for extreme cases like throwing rocks at your mom cause you don’t want to leave daycare or boxing your dad’s ears when he stops you from playing in a crowded church parking lot. Basically you can’t beat the kid all day so what you end up with are several trips to Time-Out.

In the Blockhead household Time-Out involves going into the front room (originally it was to be the family room, but for some reason we refuse to sit in there) and sitting in an elephant shaped chair facing the door. This generally works for all minor violations. By now he knows the way so all we have to say is “Go to Time-Out” and he takes off head hanging in shame. Though there are several toys in the room, they weren’t a problem until this past weekend.

“Fred we do not throw our juice cups across the room!! Time-Out”

Head hung and sobbing he takes off followed by myself just to make sure he makes it there ok.

“5 minutes! No crying. Then if you can behave we will play some more”

Two minutes in we start to hear voices coming from the other room. At first we think it’s the neighbors then we decide that unless they are sitting in our front yard screaming their love of New YoGo’s Fruit Roll-Ups, Fred has discovered the ON button to the Television.

“Fred. Did you turn on the TV while you were supposed to be in Time-out?”

Sitting there where we left him in the elephant chair facing the door Fred looks up eyes wide and says “Nu Unh”

“You didn’t? Then who did?”

With his arm and pointed index finger suddenly slicing through the air like a Ninja throwing star Fred gave the only possible and most obvious explanation.

“Kitty!!”

Buttons and Fred have this love hate relationship that has grown over time. At first Buttons couldn’t stand Fred. Than Fred didn’t like Buttons. Then Fred learned to feed Buttons. Now Buttons lets Fred pet him as long as Fred sneaks up behind him and does it while I’m scratching his ears. At the mention of his name Buttons who was sleeping in his trunk across the room raises up and cut’s a mean look in Fred’s direction.

“Are you sure Kitty turned on the TV?”

“Unnnn Huhhhh!!”

“You saw Kitty get up, turn on the TV, then go waaaay over there, and fall back to sleep?”

“Unnn Huhhh. Kitty sleeping”

At that point Time-Out ended. How can you punish him after coming up with that fantastic story? Already I’m planning on using it the next time Lucy finds my shoes under the coffee table and when my boss wonders who ate the last of the donuts.

Catching Up

After a week of poison ivy and the subsequent roid rage I experienced afterward trying to get rid of it, I decided to take a week off from blogging….well sort of. The BOB’s are still going on for another month and I’m looking at about 50+ blogs a day. I think all the critiquing of my fellow bloggers made me look too close at Charlie. Sure I keep up with who’s reading, but I’ve never let numbers dictate what or when I write. Overall the whole “freelance writing” thing has pretty much dried up for me for the moment. The people I normally turn to for work don’t currently have anything and after a couple of months of not being able to scratch up any of my own (most blogging jobs receive an average of 500-2000 applicants per day) I decided last week to quit putting so much effort into finding good paying part-time work and start focusing on getting a better paying 8-5.

Meanwhile I’ve got a couple great adventures to share this week including one about what happens in Time-Out when nobody is looking and another concerning Fred’s growing need to be the opposite of everyone else. First off though I need to clean house and take care of a couple of things namely The Top 5 Consequences Of My Steroid Use and I was given an Excellent Blog Award!!!

As an Excellent Blog Award Winner(which has nothing to do with the Best Of Blog awards I'm working on) I must do two things 1) I must acknowledge the person who gave me the award with some linky love (thank you my darling Weird Girl) and 2) I get to pass the award on to ten of my favorite bloggers which must in turn do the same as I and countless other recipients have done. So here we go in no particular order:

1. Adventure Dad

2. Poop N Boogies

3. Sarah And The Goon Squad

4. Jules

5. I Think This World Is Perfect

6. Jim’s Running Commentary

7. Child’s Play X 2

8. Father Of Five

9. Mitch McDad

10. Dad Stuff

Some of these are my favorites because they are from my area of the country, others are funnier than I will every be. Either way most of these I check out on a daily basis. So pass on the linky love. Now on to……

The Top 5 Consequences Of My Steroid Use

1. I actually told the Wednesday night Bible Class for young married couples “The Love You Make Is The Love You Take”
2. Par’d my first hole of golf ever!! Followed by my second par ever on the next hole!! Followed by a couple of nice bogey’s a few holes later!! Must have been the extra muscle I was putting behind the ball
3. Got into a huge un-provoked argument with Lucy over why I can never wake her up in the morning.
4. Lucy got a nice bouquet of flowers for “no reason at all”
5. Inability to sleep allowed me to clear my Tivo To Do List. Thus leaving me worried that I might be caught with a spare moment in which I have nothing to watch and consequently filling it back up with reruns of House and episodes of Law & Order SVU

Steroid Scandal Rocks The Blockhead Family

You read it correctly. The rumors are true. No need to have some long winded Congressional sub committee look into the startling allegations brought on by a beefed up no count ex-athlete turned punk author looking to make a quick buck. I confess.

I Charlie Blockhead come before you today to admit that I have and am still currently taking steroids……AND I’M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!!

After all they are not only knocking out the poison ivy, but I’m thinking about giving ole’Broccoli a run for his money and taking the title of BUFFEST BLOCKHEAD. I’m also considering ripping a tornado sized path through an unnamed cube farm and blaming it all on roid-rage.

Before the drugs take full effect and while I’m still able to feel sympathy for others, I’d like to also apologize in advance to the members of my family for my future attitude. Remember Fred that’s not Daddy telling you boys don’t wear yellow sunglasses, that’s the drugs talking. Lucy….well Lucy since every year at this time I seem to find myself once again trying to get the Prednisone monkey off my back all I got to say to you is be thankful it’s only for 7 days and remember how happy I make you the other 51 weeks of the year…..on second thought I love you and deep down I will understand if you kick me out of our bed and into the cat hair covered twin bed in the next room. No matter how much I insist that I’m perfectly happy being thrown out of my own room, please know I’m secretly aching on the inside. Though Button’s nails may be longer, your heart is bigger.

As for the rest of the world your best bet is to stay out of my way and give me plenty of room to breathe if anything else for out of fear that I may actually show you the horns that grow out of the top of my head as a direct result of the steroids and that I may tell you where I plan to stick them if you don’t quit doing such idiot things as refusing to drive 1 mile over the speed limit, including tomatoes on my burger even after I have made sure to order said burger using the exact phrase “I’d like a no tomato burger, with bacon, no tomato, cheese, not tomato, and chili fries with no tomato”, and not holding the door open for me at the Hill thus making me have to enter in that stupid yet obviously necessary safety door pass key number even though I waste 5 minutes of my life every morning doing unto you while risking the annoying stare of my boss as he notices once again that I’m late and would more than likely laugh me out of the office if he knew it’s because I continuously find myself regulated to doorman between 7:35 and 7:40 every morning.

You have been warned. Exit Bruce Banner. Enter THE HULK.

Who We Are Now

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about life before Fred and Lucy. Maybe it’s got something to do with my recent neck problems (Dad’s Dr. seems to think it’s hereditary), plus this cough I can’t shake, mixed with my first case of poison ivy for the year (caught it on the first weekend cutting grass!! Yeah me!!), in addition to all this gray hair I’m sporting, but suddenly it’s like I’ve taken a step back and I’m seeing things….people for who they are today and not who they were. You may remember that in the first month of this year alone Fred caught Pneumonia twice, spent 3 days in the hospital, the car broke down 4 times, Lucy changed jobs, insurance changed, and life in 2008 seemed like a scary place to live in. Not so much now though.

Fred is changing so much I’d need to quit the day job in order to blog about all his exploits. I often wonder what Lucy and I did all day Pre-Fred. We waited 8 years to have a child and part of me knows most of that was spent building the life we have today. Climbing our way out of debt and out of that 1 bedroom slum that shines like a golden palace in our memories. I don’t regret those days at all until I stop to consider all that we accomplish in the 24-hour 7 days week Parenting Lifestyle we now dwell in. I wonder what we did with all that free time we never knew we had. I simply don’t remember anything other than Lucy and I being in love. Sure there are images and stories that are stored away somewhere in the recess of my mind, but life now is like the sequel to some great adventure that will never truly end….the purpose just changes.

Boy meets girl, they fall in love, struggle through years of hard work to build a world together, get everything they always wanted….The End.

New book, same boy and girl, life is different, cast of characters has moved on and some have moved away, baby comes and….the adventure continues. Same but different.

I no longer recognize that boy that fought day in and day out with the angry man. I wonder what he thought life would be like twenty years later. Truth is, I somehow know that he never thought about anything other than “where’s everybody hanging out tonight?”

The brother and mother….the family torn up and yet better off. The Nani went to Nashville to see Broccoli this weekend and after a brief call to let me know she made it back, I got the sense that I’m not the only one waking up and staring out amazed at the new world that has grown up around us in the blink of an eye. As if we were coma patients suddenly finding ourselves light years into the future and swearing a heartbeat of time had only passed.

Even the Gigi seems to be changing. We are never meant to get along with our in-laws partly because we’ve just spent the greatest part of our lives trying to break away from our own parents only to be given a new set, neither of which by choice or some process of personal selection. To see the bond between her and Fred and how he runs through the house for entire days saying “Gigi? Nani? Gigi? Nani? Gigi?” as if one or the other is hiding just around the next turn waiting to surprise him, erases all thoughts of how relationships were and how we got to this point. The important thing is we are here.

Though I’m considering dying the gray out of my hair and have suddenly taken up the habit of falling asleep in front of the televised Sunday afternoon golf game, all of this change has made me feel younger than ever. Never in my life have I wanted warmer temps to get here so badly. There are kite’s to be flown, Frisbees to be thrown, a pack of sidewalk chalk that demands to be used up. There are more adventures to be had by Lucy, Fred, Gigi, Nani, Broccoli….and of course Charlie Blockhead.

I can’t wait to see how this turns out.

Phantom Menace

Over the weekend my neck started cramping up in a bad way. It started Saturday and immediately I wrote if off to a crick, except that it sorta started in the middle of the day and got worse. Then I remembered trying to play He-Man Friday night with a new push mower I had bought (it includes a grass catcher so that Fred can play outside and not have to wade through a foot of dead grass). The salesman seemed to have lifted it with ease, so why should I have a problem doing the same. When I tried though something popped in my neck and the thing didn’t budge.

That was 4-5 days ago and it’s still killing me….then I had a conversation that has now got me completely freaked out. My dad lives in Jacksonville, Fl and though I only get to see him once or twice a year, we talk on the phone about every 2 weeks. I had last chatted him up about a week ago and he was still suffering through the flu. He said he’d call me back when he felt better. No big deal. A week goes by and The Granny calls asking when the last time I had talked to him was. Seems she had been trying to reach him for a few days and couldn’t get him to answer the phone.

Later in the day I called, got him to answer, only to discover that he’d been to the ER 3 times in 4 days. It turns out that out of the blue his neck had cramped up so severely that he may have to start taking some physical therapy depending on the results of an MRI they have scheduled for this coming Friday!!!! It wasn’t until I hung up the phone and tried to turn my head without looking like a robot, that I realized the freaky connection! Now I’m wondering if the timing is coincidence, yet possibly something genetic I need to be aware of is going on or if I’m having sympathy neck pains.

Alabama Skank And Seafood

When somebody opens up a conversation with the words “This weekend I thought we’d go to this seafood restaurant that used to be a brothel” One’s first reaction is “Allll right. I can go for that. How long ago is “used to be”?”

When that somebody happens to be your grandmother (the same one married to a preacher) one’s reaction falls along the lines of “Granny do you know what a brothel is and what they normally serve there?” To this she added, “Back in civil war and yes I know it used to be a place where ladies of the night conducted business, but they have great catfish”

So there we were, down to see the GP’s for Easter Weekend with Broccoli and Brookli in tow and somehow wound up in the classic setup to every backwoods horror movie ever made ala “From Dusk Till Dawn”. Tucked away underneath a bridge and just a few feet away from the muddy banks of some unknown river, lies every brother- that-ever-married-their-sister’s dream of fine dinning aka Ezels (apparently that’s French for lady of the night). From the looks of the place and the constant remarks being made by Granny as she pointed to what used to be top floor suites, I pretty much had my mind set on what I was going to find once I crossed the crooked threshold. Instead what I found was worse.

How worse? A squirrel’s face glued to the butt of a stuffed deer worse. Now I should probably end this here and let you think about that last sentence overnight (not that I would blame you for not wanting to), but the story demands to be told.

I’ll say it again; a squirrel’s face had been cut off and glued to the butt of a stuffed deer. Like some scientific experiment gone awry from the Island Of Dr. Moreau, Broccoli was so shocked by it’s presence he just had to know what was literally staring him in the face thus making him forget all about the catfish he had been promised.

So as I was saying; there we were Lucy, Granny, Broccoli, Brookli, Fred, and myself all making direct contact with each other so as not to be grossed out by the table clothes that had not been changed since confederate soldiers once marched in looking for companionship (the place probably smelled the same). All the while feeling the eyes of at least 30 stuffed animal heads (deer, hogs, fish, that squirrel deer thing…a squireer…) staring us down as we attempted to keep the conversation up so as not to hear the sounds of Ned Beatty squealing like a pig somewhere in the not so distant background.

It was during these first few moments of the meal that Fred decided to throw a tantrum…little did we know his cries would make our existence known to something more frightening than a squireer. Suddenly as I sat there calming Fred down (nobody likes to be scolded) everyone at the table looked up in terror at something just to the left of me. As I peered over my shoulder wondering what could possibly make that many eyes bug out at the same time (other than possibly the squireer walking up to take our drink order) I saw none other than:

 

That’s right!! The story of the witch that tempted Snow White is true except she offers her prey greasy hushpuppies instead of juicy apples. With a crooked finger and the look of the completely insane she whispered “What’s wrong little boy?”

Being the brave father that I am I quickly switched the baby to my other shoulder thus blocking him from any ancient dwarfing curse that could be cast upon him and begged the witch to leave us alone….we just wanted some catfish and were not there to anger the ghost of prostitution past. With that our food was served, the squireer was commanded to haunt my every sleep, and we ran out of there before it got dark and the hillbilly hookers showed up for third shift.

Work'n 9-4:30 What A Way To Make A Live'n

Lucy has been at her new job at the real estate agency for little over two months now and she absolutely loves it. She was at the last place for 9 years and is a much happier person now that she has moved on…..but of course this blog is all about me and I’ve got some issues concerning her new gig.

When you’re in a marriage in which both people work, you look at each other’s jobs and compare how crummy things are.

What did you do today?

I applied credits for six hours straight.

Heh. I got yelled at by a stinky dude with a mullet who couldn’t add up the number of children he’s got.

It’s really important that nobody has too good of a job because it makes things that much harder on the one that suddenly finds themselves with the less than spectacular place of employment.

What did you do today?

I had to pull a proof of delivery on every invoice we sent to Company ABC last year.

Heh. I went to a meeting at the country club for female business leaders and won a mani/pedi!!

See what I mean? The scales have tipped. It’s one thing to complain about work when the other person has it just as bad, it’s a whole other enchilada when you’re the only one griping. Not to mention it makes it worse for the lesser person cause he knows it’s probably not so bad, but look how awesome things are on her much greener side of the mountain.

The only way to deal with this is to look at how happy the other person is and how much more fun they have suddenly become. Specifically speaking, Lucy is bouncing around like a teenager again and I find myself happier than ever because of it. Let’s face it when mama is happy, everybody is happy. She’s laughing at my jokes, eating healthier, asking me to take long walks in the afternoon, meeting me for lunch, and well….well I’ll just leave it at that. LOL

And The No's Have It

Well the votes are in (no not the BoB's they are still going strong for a few more weeks). I'm talking about the two polls I have been conducting on the sidebar. Here's how they all went down:

Should Fred Get A Hair Cut?         

Yes: 27%

No:   72%

Should Fred Get A Cat?

Yes: 15%

No:   78%

Hamster: 5%

As you can see it seems the NO's have it. Does this mean the golden locks are safe....unfortunately no. What it does mean though is that only a few of them will trimmed and his curls will remain!! After all, they are like his trademark. The cat issue is a different story. Lucy really wants him to have a kitten since Buttons is 12 and not the nicest pet a 2 year-old ever had. The issue is still being kicked around, but your vote may have helped cool the waters. 

Thanks to all that participated and look for more voting opportunities soon!!

Back To The Real World

It’s always hard to get back into the swing of things after a vacation. Even if it’s just a three day weekend, there’s just something about having to come back to work that puts a grimace on your face. Things have been especially tough this time around due to a couple of special occasions. A trip to Granny’s and The Blue’s Clues Birthday Bash And Dash.

Fred was spoiled before the week of his birthday, but after 3 parties, 3 cakes, 7 days of presents, 2 Easter egg hunts, and 1 day at the golf course with Daddy….whew I just get tired thinking about it…..he has forgotten the meaning of the word NO. In there somewhere you can add a trip to Granny’s (technically his great-grandmother) featuring his favorite uncle/aunt combo Broccoli and Brookli. It’s no wonder Lucy and I now have to figure out just what to do with this new personality our 2 year-old has decided to adopt.

NO BATH

NO SCHOOL

DO NOT HIT YOUR MOTHER

CLEAN UP YOUR MESSES

NO EAT

NO KITTY

WE DO NOT HIT THE KITTY

OUTSIDE

IT’S TOO COLD TO GO OUTSIDE

HOLD ME

I CAN’T HOLD YOU ALL THE TIME

QUIT DUMPING YOUR TOYS IN THE FLOOR

BUBBLES

WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THE BUBBLES BEFORE YOU CAN OPEN THEM

BUUUUBBBBBLLLLLEEESSSSSS

WE’VE BEEN OUTSIDE BLOWING BUBBLES FOR TWO HOURS

NNNNNNOOOOOOO

THROWING YOURSELF ON THE FLOOR IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU ANYTHING MISTER

DO YOU WANT TIME OUT?

Other than the occasional swat to the hand we have been pretty luck in the bad behavior department….I think our luck ran out last week and to be honest who could blame him. If I had all that done for me on my birthday (the parties, the constant stream of presents, all that cake, trips to the park) I’d probably drop to the ground and demand it to continue as well.

At 32 I still come home grumpy after leaving Granny’s. My grandparents live in a world where nobody screams, nobody worries (not out loud anyway), there’s very little in the way of work, and everything is in God’s hands. Now in my old age I’m sure of two things 1) It’s only this way because they put life on hold just to get everything out of the little amount of time they have with us and 2) it’s never really as green on the other side as it seems.

Still though after every trip I come back proclaiming this will be done (I was going to take drama my Senior year in high school) and this habit will stop (no more biting my nails!!). Then reality sets in and I too am left kicking and screaming cause I can’t spend all day/everyday with my family. Bills have to be paid, grass needs to be cut, and rules on how we are to behave need to be re-established. That’s what makes the special moments in life so enjoyable….if they happened everyday we’d never learn to cherish them.

A Birthday, A Bunny, & A Beautiful Day

 

Welcome To Charlie. Have A Seat. Take A Look Around.

The last time I changed the furniture around here at Charlie I swore it would be the last time for at least a while. It takes me forever to find a design I like and that green/bear/rainbow thing I had going on will always be my favorite. The problem I was having wasn’t with the look, it was with how hard it was to make changes to Blogger. I mean I had to teach myself HTML all over again every time I wanted to do something as simple as add a link.

Since Lijit is a major sponsor of the Best Of Blog Awards I felt I needed to test it out so last week I attempted to up load it and was told that I would have to update Charlie to the newest version of Blogger before I could do anything. The only problem was that I’d loose my design. Still I had been having serious issues with it anyway so I figured if it made posting just the slightest bit easier, than I’m all for it.

Now a week later I have to say I absolutely love it!! I’ve got a couple polls going on over there on the right of the screen (Lucy wants Fred to have a kitten cause Buttons is to old to have any fun) and you can also check out what I’m reading/listening to. The behind the scenes setup and navigation is easier than ever, plus I can add widgets at will.

What do you guys think? Anything I can do to make it more enjoyable for you?

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Bath

I know I said I wasn’t going to post again but all this work over at the BoB’s has put the fun back into it. Today I’m wondering how to tell my boss that the reason I was late this morning was because I couldn’t get Fred’s shirt off.

Not that he’ll ask but on the off chance I’d like to have something better for him than “My 2-year old locked his arms in the down position and refused to take his shirt off.”

How can something that small be so strong?

“NO SHIRT!!!” After fighting him for 15 minutes, Lucy’s answer was “Just put him in the bath anyway. The shirt needs washing too.”

He ran around the house for a half hour naked from the waste down threatening to pee on everything from the cat to the coat rack, finally I got it him off him. Then I heard “NO BATH” Once I got the shirt off, this one was easy. Just dunk him and go. Before he even knew he was wet he was out and screaming “NO SHOES”

Meanwhile the clock is ticking for both Lucy and I as we realize the Control Freak (as we are beginning to call him) is about to make us late. That’s when Lucy found the ultimate “get out of the house without having to beat him” card “Don’t you wanna see your girl Drew?”

Drew is this adorable blonde girl that can often be found holding Fred’s hand when Lucy arrives to take him home in the afternoons.

It’s funny to see his face and watch how he deals with questions by saying them out loud.

“Drew?”

“Dreeeewwww????”

“Drew.”

“DREW!!!”

“SHOES ON!!!”

What can I say dude’s got a thing for the chics man.

Blue's Birthday Bash And Dash (Part II)

Well we did it!! Despite having to turn a boring cake into something unforgettable and having Fred almost fall asleep in the middle of it, we pulled off the best Blue's Clues Birthday Party any 2-year old has ever seen. With his actual birthday coming up on the 20th we are planning a smaller get together and that's when he'll get the ultimate gift A TRICYCLE!!!! Thankfully he can't read yet and I know none of you will spoil the surprise (not that he knows what the word means anyways) We are going to Granny's later this week and the plan is to take Fred to the golf course for the first time to use his new clubs Pops got him before we leave town. Just in case I don't get around to posting again this week, feel free to wish Fred a Happy Birthday here, and enjoy the video/pictures of the celebration.

Blue's Birthday Bash And Dash

  

 

Fred’s 2^nd birthday party is this weekend and though we’ve been planning it for months, it’s coming down to last minute details. Like for example our cake maker calling the day before we were to pick it up and telling us she has the flu. Since we did not order a "germ"an style birthday cake, we quickly had to come up with an alternative. Cross your fingers with me and pray it turns out ok.

The BoB’s are going full blast at the same time as the party prep’s and Lucy/I are swimming in a sea of Blue Blue. Half of every night is spent on party prep and the other (9-Midnight) half is devoted to the awards. Tonight we make bone shaped cookies with blue sugar frosting and hand drawn blue paw prints in the center (again cross those fingers). Since the party hasn’t happened yet I don’t wanna give away too many details but I will say we finally managed to get a shirt for Fred just like the one Steve wears ($25 used on Ebay!! We found one for $15). Tomorrow night we set up at the church gym and then at 10:00 Saturday morning the best Blue’s Clues party ever given will be in full swing (cross whatever you’ve got left to cross).

Technorati Tags: Blues clues,birthday party,turning 2,best of blog awards

My Favorite "Before I Became One" Fantasy

As the parent of a toddler I'm continuously shocked by my misconceptions of what kind of parent I was going to be back when I was yet to have one. It's something we all go through when we start thinking about kids. I remember seeing a parent lose control once at a retail store and thinking "If that was my kid there would be none of that. No sir my child will know who the boss is" Which didn't turn out to be too far from the truth, because let's face it we both know he's the boss. I'd visit friends with children and look around in amazement at the warehouse of toys that dared to take over their entire home. Again I'd say, "My child will know the joys of playing outside. Forget video games and personal DVD players. My child will like to read and will be able to carry on an actual conversation without referring to Pokeman or Yugi-o" Two years later Blue and Steve seem to be on an endless hunt for the latest clue and it's a wonder the wonder pets ever get turned off.

My favorite "before I became one" fantasy revolves around dinner. When you're married without children dinnertime rarely ends in somebody crying, never is the scene of a crouton-throwing contest, and typically only one set of silverware is needed per person . Nowadays I find myself wondering if we should stop by that "Clown" place on the way to where the rest of us plan to eat because for some reason clowns make better chicken tenders than those so called professionally trained chefs at the lobster house. Not to mention somehow clowns have found a way to charge less for their efforts.

To say I have a fussy eater would be an understatement, but it's not so much he doesn't like eating different types of foods rather it's the fact that he's very moody about it. I'm to the point where I'm keeping a mental journal of what he's eating at every meal in hopes of predicting his next change of tongue. Don't get me wrong there's nothing bad about having a favorite food, but what do you when your child eats chicken seven nights in a row and then on the eighth night looks up at you like you've just committed a crime. "How dare you feed me chicken eight times in a row. What kind of parent are you!!!" Of course we all know the answer to that question, we have learned to be parents that come prepared with not just plan A's but also B's, C's, and even D's. Unlike the parents before us, we don't just send our kids to bed if they don't like what is being served. We realize that doing that will only result in us having to make fried bologna at 2:00 A.M. because Jr. knows that the best way to get what he wants is to deprive mommy and daddy of sleep. We are parents in the year 2008 and that means if Suzie doesn't want the hamburger we bought her than no big deal!! There's a granola bar and a banana in the diaper bag. Plus, they are 10 times better for her than some greasy hamburger.

I know some people think that parents of my generation are doing nothing but spoiling their children and depriving them of the tough skin they will need to survive on their own. I disagree. We simply have the financial means to provide our children with more than our parents provided us. After all that's what we were always told by our parents wasn't it? "These two jobs will be worth it someday when I see you working in some cozy corner office with three degrees on the wall." The way I see it, by giving my child choices as dinnertime I'm simply fulfilling my parents wishes. Besides he won't act like that when he's a teenager...

Technorati Tags: fussy eaters,parenting,married life

My Brett Favre Moment

Long before Lucy and I had Fred we were people that would leave town at the drop of a hat and drive 600 miles in the middle of the night just to spend 24 hours on a beach and come back. One year we hopped down to Gulfport, MS. to see Tim McGraw put on an outdoor concert next to the beach. All of the proceeds from the concert went to the Brett Favre foundation and rumor had it he was lurking around backstage somewhere.

So the concert's over, we had the time of our lives screaming about how we were Indian Outlaws and Real Good Men, we make our way to the back afterward to catch a glimpse of McGraw getting on his bus...and there goes Brett not 10 feet away from us heading to a hotel/casino across the street.

At this point I could lie and say I shook his hand and took my picture with him and he signed Lucy's..never mind. It would be a lie so I won't tell it. Nobody wants to have to keep up with a purse during a concert. There's too many people all crammed in together so backpacks are too bulky as well. Of course you wanna go have a good time and not worry about baggage, so you leave everything but your wallet hidden under a blanket in the trunk of the car and put your cash/I.D in your front pocket.

We're standing there and sure enough Brett Favre walks by some ten feet away. 

We all scream "Hey Brett!!!"

Then it hits me. I gotta get him to sign something. "WHO'S GOT A PEN!!!! IT'S BRETT FREAK'N FARVE!! I NEEEEDDD A PEEEENNNN"

I can't very well ask the man to borrow a pen to sign his own name, or can I?

"HEY BRETT CAN YOU SIGN MY.." My what? I don't have nothing for him to sign!

"WHO'S GOT A SCRAP OF PAPER!!! I NEED A PEN AND SOME PAPER!!! COME BACK BRETTTTT! I NEED TO BORROW SOME PAPER AND A PEN SO YOU CAN SIGN YOUR NAME!!!!"

Alas it never happened...no paper, no pen, nothing for him to sign except for Lucy's..and she'd probably want to wash them sooner or later so there went that as well. At least I got to say Hi though. Sunday's will never be the same.

 

Technorati Tags: brett farve,greenbay packers,nfl,greatest moments,tim mcgraw

The Best Of Blogs

Recently I some how managed to successfully apply for the job of Project Mgr. for this year's The Best Of Blog awards (The BoB's). The BoBs are an online awards program that celebrates the lesser known blogger and attempts to send some major amounts of traffic their way. As Project Mgr I'm responsible for a whole blog load of duties including regularly posting on the site, sorting through 3,000+ nominations, and eventually picking a winner. The event takes 2 months to unfold starting yesterday and lasting until the final vote tally the first week of May.

Most of my Blogging Buddies you see to the left fit in the "under 250 hits a week" eligibility rule so do yourself (and me) a favor and go on over and nominate one. Oh and we changed the rules this year to allow for bloggers who want to nominate themselves, so if you are one of the Blogging Buddies I just spoke about go get yourself some free publicity!!

 

I'll Take This Call In My Office

I'm sure it happens to all of us and sometimes I go in there just to get away from the noise that constantly swirls around my 2 year-old. Then again there are times when I'm not doing it and somebody else is, so it sounds like I am.

I'm sure you have no clue what I'm talking about so I'm just going to spell it out..sometimes I talk on the phone while using the bathroom. There I admitted it. Sometimes I just can't hold it and I gotta take care of business while taking care of business. Perfect example: Phone rings last week, I pick it up, it's somebody I've been wanting to talk to all day, suddenly out of the blue my stomach goes Code Red, the 30 second warming sounds, and not wanting to end the conversation for fear of not being able to get the person back on the line afterward, I simply turn on the sink and finish my conversation.

Then there are times when I'm just walking through the hall and somebody flushes the toilet as I walk past. To the person on the other end of the phone I'm positive they think I'm the one that got caught taking a call in the conference room, but actually I'm just a victim of circumstances. In fact I've even gone as far as putting a phone in the bathroom just in case somebody comes calling the same time Mother Nature does. Trust me it happens more times than you want to know.

I have this obsessive compulsive thing about email and phone calls. No matter where I'm at (the men's room at work) no matter what I'm doing (or which number) I must answer the phone. The house could be on fire and if I heard the email chime on the way out the door, I'd probably stop to see who just left me a message on Myspace.

So the next time you call (which after this post my phone may never ring again) don't ask where I'm at cause you just might not want the answer to that question.

Blockhead Bits (#452)

Who cares about the Oscars? Where are these people you hear about marking their score cards and throwing parties in which invitees all sit around the tube on the edge of their seats just aching for last year's Supporting Actress to peel back the envelope and read off the name of some person we've never heard of from a movie we've never seen.....or plan to see for that matter. 

The Best Movies Of 2007

• Die Hard 4
• SuperBad
• Martian Child
• Little Miss Sunshine

The Best of 2008 So Far

• Cloverfield

The presidential candidate we should have all voted for, but never caught on appeared on SNL this past weekend. Check out him out!!

Why do I suddenly feel the need to vote for Barack Obama? Is it because I can't bring myself to vote for McCain? Yes, there's just something that scares me about him and I'm ready for the war to be over. Does the White House need another Clinton? No!!! We've seen what they can do and I'm tired of my presidents all having the same last names. Do I want to be part of a movement (any movement) so bad that I'm open to supporting someone who could become America's first black president regardless of what his politics are? Maybe. Would it matter if he looked like a zebra if it meant not voting for Hilary or McCain? No!!! I'd probably be wearing a "Vote For The Candidate That's Simply Black and White" button if it meant not voting for the alternatives.

Where do TV exec's get off canceling a show that ends in a cliffhanger? For month's we've waited for Delinda to have her baby only to see her crash to the floor at her wedding after finding blood on her hands and screaming for help..only to be told the next day that Las Vegas would not be returning. Why should I even bother watching new shows if 95% of them get whacked just when they start to get interesting?

When you find mud all over the back of your kids shirt and you realize he hasn't been outside all day, real fear takes a hold of you and you find yourself wishing you never had a nose to start with. One thing is for sure; that diaper requires a two-man plan of attack and everyone is going to get "shrapnel" on them.

Is there anything better than Chicken Spaghetti? Here's the recipe. Give it a try yourself and get back to me:

• 1/4 cup milk, 1/4 cup spaghetti noodles,1/4 cup green peppers, 1/2 cup onion, 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 1 can of Rotel, 1 3/4 cups of grated cheddar cheese, 2 cups cooked chicken, 1/2 stick of margarine
• Brown chicken in skillet till it's good and done
• Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl.
• Pour mixture into large pan and bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until cheese melts and top is lightly browned

After reading the Sunday paper and their Pulitzer Prize worthy � page expose on high school locker decorations I've decided maybe the Church isn't the only thing having trouble connecting with the rest of the world. Though I do love me a good Dilbert Cartoon and will probably cry when FBOFW ends this September.

Tivo is a gift from the heavens. Anything that can allow me to pull up a weeks worth of Blues Clues at will and fast forward through commercials while watching Lost (thus avoiding "What tha!?!?!" being said only once rather than every 15 minutes) can only be described as miraculous and the best thing to happen to families since babies.

Inside My Fortress

I should have been outside cleaning the gutters, but the cloudy weather made for the perfect excuse.

There's a Wee-Swap in a couple of weeks and Lucy could have probably spent the whole weekend going through Fred's old clothes while deciding what to keep and what to sell.

The towel hook in the bathroom has come loose and it needs to be reattached.

My freelance work is still up in the air and I need to add more content to my samples site.

There's no doubt that I wouldn't have had to look too terribly hard to find a hundred things that needed to be done other than watching golf and enjoying a whole pack of PEEPS.

Life is filled with "gotta be done's" and "need to do's". This past weekend though none of it seemed to matter. He's not yet even 2, but I think Fred could sense the mood of the house just as well as Lucy and I. This weekend we were hibernating.

We pulled down the blinds, turned the answering machine on, the computer off, and..we slept. We read books. We watched movies. We made a pallet in the floor and had a picnic as the Curious George movie made us laugh like little kids.

One trip to McDonalds, a stop off at the grocery store for milk, and then nobody was allowed to leave the house again until Monday.....and nobody wanted to. There were too many laughs to be had. Too many pages that needed to be colored. Too many gold fish that needed to be shared.

No bickering over insignificant things. No temper tantrums. No visitors allowed. Just 48 hours of uninterrupted family time.

And now on this Monday morning as I touch these keys for the first time and attempt to turn the wonderland of a weekend into words, I find myself happier, friendlier, less stressed, and more convinced that God is watching over my family. For in my Fortress the sounds of a family in love with life have recharged my weary bones and left me happier than I have been in quiet some time. 

Does God Own A Laptop?

I wrote Religious Disconnect after church mainly out of frustration of not being inspired. I admit I'm responsible for most of the blame when it comes to my current religious frustrations, but I those were/are my feelings and I feel my concerns about the direction of the church are justified.

As you may recall, my exact words were "The world around me is a swirling mix of Pop Culture Chaos, Election Results, Casualty Reports, Housing Concerns, and Missing Children. My days are filled with Potty Training, looking for Freelance Work so I can bring in some extra cash, and completing Letters Of Credit (I work in Accounts Receivable). Now I know that God's teachings are still relevant, I just wish somebody would relate them to me."

Would you believe it if I didn't walk into church Wednesday night to find that a new class was starting that very night revolving around these very same issues?! It was amazing, interesting, thought provoking, and it held on to Biblical fundamentals while at the same time pulling in current topics. Talk about amazing..God is amazing!

Confessions Of A Fatman.

For months I've been screaming I'm going to lose weight and remembering how I yelled at Lucy for "hiding" the Oreos. I've not lost much (ok none) but I'm eating healthier and as soon as it's warm it's work out time!!

We're at the mall and since they closed the bookstore (Where are us men supposed to go while the ladies buy make-up?) Fred and I were taking a stroll around the food court when we came across Little Miss Sunshine and her family. LMS and Fred have been friends since birth (she's a year or so older) and immediately they start hugging. After chatting for a minute LMS's mom offers a couple chicken nuggets. I say no. She says they don't want them. I say she's just saying that. She says she's going to throw them away. So I say:

"Well...maybe Fred would like them."

Not only am I so fat I didn't even consider that she was offering them to him by way of me, it didn't even register that they were meant for him until 8 hours later!!! I'm sitting there eating dinner and out of no where my now full stomach sends a message to my brain along the lines of "OOOOHHHH The nuggets were for the baby!!!"

What a Blockhead.

Grasping At Airplanes

Finally the weather is getting to the point where we can take Fred outside for at least a half hour at a time. Mind you he's only borderline asthmatic, but you can't blame us for being a little gun shy after spending 3 days in the hospital 2 weeks ago. Our problem isn't that it's too cold, our problem is that it's 30 degrees today, 65 degrees tomorrow, and then back down to 30 the next. A little consistency would do us wonders.

We live near an airport and it's a common occurrence to look up and see a small passenger plane overhead. One zipped by yesterday as Fred was learning to kick piles of leaves across the yard. Almost out of instinct the moment he saw the plane directly overhead he began jumping and trying to grasp the aircraft in his tiny hands. This reminded me of what it's like to be a little kid and not have any knowledge of distance or size. How everything could be seen through your thumb and forefinger.

"How big is that tree? Not so big. See I can put it here ] If I wanted to I could put it in my pocket or smash it into tiny bits. Good thing I don't want to huh?"

This seems to be the year of change for the Blockhead family. January was a sandstorm that swooped in and rearranged our lives. What once was a clear path to our goals is now somewhat hazy and we both get the feeling we can only see a few weeks into the future.

Lucy's changed jobs and will be going to Real Estate school in the fall. My freelance work jumped off a cliff and died for a week. Leaving me shooting out job submissions for any topic that I was remotely familiar with. Then just as quickly I landed on my feet as Project Mgr. for this year's Best Of Blog Awards. You'll hear me talk more about them soon enough, just know that it's a major accomplishment and compliment.

Now all in all I'd say that nothings off limits as to what we will accomplish in 2008. There are no boundaries. No rules dictating the impossible. Nothing to stop us from jumping up with all our might and taking hold of our dreams as they zip by overhead.

Religious Disconnect

I am not the perfect Christian. Those of you who know me know that my hearts in the right place and at times I'm as faithful as they come. Unfortunately my faithfulness comes in waves complete with valleys and peaks. One month I may be teaching a class on Wednesday nights....3 months later you may not even see me there mid-week. This is not something I'm proud of, but again those of you who have met me know I'm brutally honest and often too blunt for my own good. Recently though I feel the need to be inspired. I wanna walk into that building every time the doors are open and thank God I have such a great place to hear HIS word. I wanna forget what time it is or what I'm missing out on elsewhere and enjoy the message being given. The thing is......I just don't.

We've thought about changing churches (even did for 5 months last year) but eventually we missed our family and friends too much. And to be honest it's not completely the churches fault I don't feel inspired....well not completely. I'm tired of not relating to what is being preached to me. As you've probably read in my "About me" section, I'm an average Joe. Everyday I get up at 6:00, by 6:30 I'm eating a bowl of cereal while watching the news. Daycare at 7:30. Work at 8:00. Home at 5:30. It's probably not as monotonous as I make it out to be (after all I'll have a 2 yr-old in a month), but my point is I'm not surrounded by Fire and Brimstone all day. The world around me is a swirling mix of Pop Culture Chaos, Election Results, Casualty Reports, Housing Concerns, and Missing Children. My days are filled with Potty Training, looking for Freelance Work so I can bring in some extra cash, and completing Letters Of Credit (I work in Accounts Receivable). Now I know that God's teachings are still relevant, I just wish somebody would relate them to me.

This isn't a dig at this preacher or that guest speaker, because I've heard several over the years and lately they all have the same sound.WAWAAAA WAWAAWAAA WAWAAWAAWAAA. What I want to hear. What I want to feel is PASSION!! CONVICTION!! At this point I'd settle for A CHANGE IN TONE. I want somebody to stand up there and tell me that Book (Blank) Chapter (Blank) Verse (Blank) relates directly to mall shootings by way of (Blank). I want to hear how a tornado can inspire faith in God. How a Presidential Election is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Then again I wonder....if I was given what I wanted would I even listen? And who's to say I am and I'm not.

  

Technorati Tags: faith,God,relevance,christianity,family

Fred says Amen!

Contributed by Lucy

If you know the real Charlie and Lucy ~ you know we are both loud, love to have fun and love to laugh. Why should our sweet little Fred be any different? I have a hilarious story that must be shared.

A few Wednesday nights ago we were at church. Fred was behaving on a moderately good level - UNTIL the closing prayer. Now he knows that after the closing prayer he gets to go to class, sing songs and be with his buddies. Obviously he was ready to go!

The poor guy leading the closing prayer didn't stand a chance. He had hardly gotten started when Fred says Amen. Now mind you, the prayer was not over. Awe how sweet he knows how to pray, right? Yeah sure until you hear the next AMEN! I quickly covered his mouth and listened to the chuckles coming from our friends surrounding us. He was proud - he got a laugh. Maybe that would quite him up - no chance then came a much louder AMEN! Good grief Charlie, help me out a little. AMEN screams our child. By this time he has totally lost it . . . "I SAID AMEN" screams my child. When he was totally exasperated he looks at me with a pitiful face and said "Mommy I say Amen" and laid his head on my shoulder. Poor sweet Fred ~ if it were only that easy, I'd Amen my way to the weekends.

Sorry Mr. Gary ~ that disruption was us!

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: church,prayer,amen,family