Thursday, October 23, 2008

Now A Break For Our Sponsor: TANG!

I bring you this break in our normally scheduled wedding, new job, fatherhood talk to bring you a word from our sponsor: TANG!

Actually I just needed a break so I could rant about the existence of NASA. I understand the importance of a thousand satellites circling the globe allowing me to keep up with the World Series of Backgammon on my cell phone, but other than that do we really need NASA for anything else? I mean couldn't we use the trillions of dollars being spent everyday to see if the Red Planet is just like Val Kilmer said it would be on something like finding a cure for our massive homeless problem? I mean we literally have people living on the streets and yet we constantly spend gabillions on shuttle launches so we can figure out why space smells like chicken-fried steak. Furthermore I could care less about the moon and truly believe that it's main function is serve as a nightlight for those too cheap to spend five bucks to make their kids feel safe at night and to give dogs something to howl at after a long day of playing chase their tail. To the upcoming president elect all I ask is that you forget all about the planets, space aliens, and the final frontier and please focus on finding intelligent life here on Earth instead. Then again considering our choices come November 4th maybe I should be asking somebody else....

Now I take you back to blah blah blah

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

But Baby It's Cold Outside....

No this isn't a post about how Lucy has a habit of asking me to step out the side door and into our adjoining laundry room to put the clothes in the dryer at 11 o'clock at night even though I've got nothing on but a pair of boxers and a smile. The title comes from the new sentence we are constantly saying to Fred every morning as we try our best to get him to wear pants to school.

I'm really wondering how people handle more then one, because lately our one is not wanting to do anything we ask him to. "Wear this please." "NO I WANT TO WEAR MICKEY MOUSE!" "Let me help you get in the car so we can leave sometime before the end of tomorrow." "NO I DO IT!" "Please put on this very expensive outfit so you won't embarrass us at Uncle Broccoli's wedding." "I WANT TO WEAR ELMO!"

At this point after several conversations with Broccoli I have no doubt he could care less what Fred wears to the wedding. In fact I think he could run down the isle naked and he wouldn't care (Fred not Broccoli....then again he probably wouldn't care about that either.....Broccoli not Fred). Which is good because we may have to wait to the last minute to put the thing on him and if he gets away from Lucy then it just very well may happen.

"But Baby It's Cold Outside..." is what we are constantly saying to Fred as the reasons why he can't wear shorts all day and all night. Bribery doesn't work, forcing him doesn't work, so far begging is only doing a so so job. Knowing full well we are simply dealing with a miniature version of ourselves, Lucy and I are trying to remain patient as this stage hopefully passes us by. Yet all the patience in the world can't make us stop cringing whenever it's time to get Fred to do something he doesn't want too.....on a some what related note I can no longer remember what we did with all our spare time before we had a child. I remember getting married, then sleeping, then......saying "Because I said so!" over and over again. Was I in a coma?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Look Out For That Fork In The Road!!!!

Here comes another turning point.....a fork stuck in the road....time has grabbed me by the wrist and is directing me where to go....

No I'm not announcing the end of Charlie Blockhead, in fact due to some major changes just over the horizon I may have more time than ever to post. After almost 6 yrs with Anderson Press Inc, I was recently offered a supervisors position at Whitesell Corp. Thanks to a mysterious envelope containing an advertisement for a job already filled and featuring nada in the way of a return address, I have somehow found the next step in my path to the top of the corporate ladder. With only the words "Apply Now" written in pencil at the top, the no named sender somehow convinced me to send in my resume. It wasn't until half way through the interview that I realized it was for a supervisor's position and not a lonely account analyst's job.

Though I'll miss a ton of things about Anderson Press including the great discount I got on coloring books, the new job is 3 minutes from home and Fred's daycare compared to the half hour trip I'm used to. This means more time at home and more time to spend posting. We'll save on gas, food, and the new job comes with a paid country club membership....yes I'm bragging a little, but I'm ultra excited.

Of course with any new job major challenges come with the change in atmosphere. New employees to get used to. New software to learn. New goals to reach for. I've been around long enough to know it won't be easy at first, but eventually I'll make the job my own and get the hang of things. For now I'm mainly focusing on Broccoli's wedding, wrapping up the loose ends at Anderson Press, and getting Fred to wear his official ring bearers uniform which may take a visit from Mickey Mouse himself to pull off.

If you're reading this ye ole mysterious mailer of classified ads....your good dead will not be forgotten and will be passed on to another very soon.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Have You Met My Invisible Child?

It's funny to think about all the things you never thought you would catch yourself doing in those pre-child years. Saturday Lucy and I went to a wedding shower for Broccoli (only 3 weeks away!) and Fred spent the night with the GiGi (I know two weekends in a row!). Once it was all over and we had stopped for a double cheeseburger and tots at Sonic, we headed home to enjoy some quiet time. Within minutes of walking in the door, Lucy was on the computer and I was curled up on the couch. I remember being a teenager and as most teenage boys do I dreamed about a time when I would have a girl all to myself with nobody around to stop us from doing what boys and girls do....never once did those dreams involve me falling asleep watching a Spiderman Cartoon marathon. Funny enough when I woke up at 1 A.M. she was on the other couch and had apparently dosed off watching the second half of Spidey. I don't remember saying to myself "Hey a Spiderman Marathon! Coool!" I honestly think that Fred has gotten us so used to watching nothing but cartoons that I just didn't realize there was anything else on.

Parenting is a thing of balance. Let the kid get his way too often and he gets spoiled and refuses to do what you say. Get too strict with him and you rob him of the joys of childhood. After battling our out of control child for a couple days last week I found myself arguing with a person that had been out of my sight for at least two hours Thursday morning. Fred and I went back and forth all morning through getting dressed, on the way out the door, and up until the point that I turned him over to those beautiful people at the Hill. When mom called a few hours later it hit me I had continued the argument during my drive to the office and had been talking out loud to my invisible child since I dropped him off. I still lost the argument.....

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

When We Were Young And Infinite

Lucy and I try to get out sans child at least once a month. Now that Fred is older he has discovered the joys of staying away from home and being able to get away with absolute murder. Typically our nights alone follow a distinct path: A long drawn out goodbye to Fred. The type you might see on if you were on the Love Boat and heading out into the great wide open. People tossing handkerchiefs, blowing kisses, and waving goodbye until their loved ones are out of sight. Followed by a quick change of clothes, dinner at a restaurant that we'd never take Fred to not because he would misbehave, but because they are often so tiny you wonder why they would try to put a Chili's in a bathroom closet, a nice long stroll around Target, followed by both of us falling asleep on our favorite couches.....I just screams old fogies.

Last Friday things were a bit different thanks to my new friends Nick & Norah. It could have been that we were inspired by a theater full of giddy teenagers or that it had been so long since we actually sat down together to watch anything remotely romantic we simply discovered what had been missing....whatever it was, at some point during the couples adventures through the streets of New York, Lucy and I remembered what it was like to be 17 again. We held hands and we laughed. We ewwed and awwwed at the right moments and pretended to be like the carefree teens giggling all around.

After a brief trip to Target afterward (had to have the soundtrack!), we left our disguises on and drove around town listening to our favorite songs, singing along loud and proud, and did something we hadn't done in quite some time.....we enjoyed each others company. Not to say we don't love one another deeply, but after day in and day out of acting like some one's parent it's hard not to treat everyone like they are two year's old and out of control. In that car covered in the glow of the dashboard lights, we drove down the city streets listening to our own playlist and remembering the infinite memories of our life together. And in the morning as we picked Fred up and prepared for the inevitable battle over "Who he thinks he is all of a sudden!", we did our best to remember the night before while silently making promises to keep those teenage costumes we donned hours early in hopes that they might be wore again more often.