Monday, July 30, 2007

Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

With the way the sun was shining combined with the cool breeze coming across the back of the restaurant it was easy to forget you were 800 miles inland. Still though if you closed your eyes it wouldn’t have been too hard to smell the salt coming off the ocean. There were a few tables outside scattered about in no particular order. Red umbrellas opened up to give refugee from the glaring orb perched just above the horizon. Who knows if it was because the band wasn’t too well known or if there was some other main attraction drawing the usual crowd away from the normally busy hot spot. Whatever the reason we were glad it was going to be a private concert. With two kids in tow, each of us agreed that the fewer people around the better when it came to eating out.

After the pasta came amidst the swells of the guitar, nothing was left of the meal except a few scraps of garlic bread and hints of marinara. Empty glasses all pushed to the center of the table in hopes little hands wouldn’t be able to reach them. With a whisper and a dash the scene transformed from an evening out with friends into a slow motion dance recital. With her pastel dress twirling around her, time seemed to stop for everyone as we watched the little girl next to the stage sway to the music. With a band in her hair to keep the brown locks back and a smile created for her father, the glow from Princess ZoĆ« was enough to make the sun jealous and decide to turn in for the night.


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Can You Follow My Train Of Thought?

So what do you do when you have a weekly column to write and you don't have a clue what to say Apparently you ramble and you ditch punctuation I've got a couple of ideas for some great stories I want to tell bouncing around in the ole blockhead noggin but they aren't fleshed out yet I've been wondering where the J's are and keep meaning to shoot them an email Speaking of friends the gang is now officially split up We were tight there for awhile and there was a time I saw spending my life with them all as if trapped in a real life version of Thirtysomething but that's over now The idols have left though not in a way that anyone ever saw coming Something happened changed people became distant and best friends lost touch Nobody knows the exact reasons or if they do they're not sharing Either way the gang is kaput I writing a ton lately and I love it to death but I wonder if the daily grind of cranking out blog after blog for extra cash is stopping me from pursuing other opportunities then again seven months ago before I started getting paid there were no opportunities so maybe I'm just worrying for the sake of it Everything is going great in my life at the moment I just got a promotion at the 9-5 but I can't help but wonder if it's just taking me one step further away from the writing career that may or may not be my latest fad I love doing this everyday though it does wear me out some The late nights the endless words and phrases appearing out of nowhere on my computer screen in just the perfect way as if putting together a puzzle without knowing what the final picture is or looking at the pieces I'm still amazed in my confidence in myself 98% percent of the time when I sit down I have a basic idea and the rest just pours out like a pitcher full of tea going down the drain maybe that's not the best analogy but maybe the correct one would be paint being dumped on a canvas I love this whole train of thought thing I got going on now I may have to do this again soon I just heard the new Billy Ray Cyrus album and it was pretty good believe it or not We watched 10 minutes of Hannah Montana the other day and that made me open to the idea of hearing him sing and forgiving him for Achey Breaky Heart Fred loves music the slightest hint of song or the television jingle and he's popping his head and shaking that booty There's a new group of friends forming and I guess that's  great The Marks The Norths The Whiska's I hate those nicknames but it's the best I can do I'm getting sleepy There for like three months I was doing great going to bed at midnight and getting up at six but this past week I can barely stay up past ten Lucy is doing great everyday she amazes me by how funny and sacrastic she is we've been together so long we laugh at the slight hints of old inside jokes like Hoooott Pooockets and I'd die without shoes We used to play this game where we'd hear a song or a story on the news and make up this giant lie about how it all happened because of something we did and we decided to keep it quite because we didn't want to have to put up with the hassle of being famous Fred is practically attacking buttons the cat every afternoon everytime he runs into the room he screams "AAAAAAAACCCHHHHHH" Fred not the cat sounds are the hardest words to spell We are afraid that when asked if he knows what sound a cat makes at school he will say nothing because pets aren't allowed in school bad joke we are afraid that instead of "Meow" he will scream "Raaaooooorrrr" then they will ask him to spell that and he will have no clue cause his daddy never taught him because he didn't know either Lucy has an ulcer and can't eat pizza and that's going to give me an ulcer because I am craving some pizza I know this is probably hard to read plus I'm not going to do spell check cause that will take away from the fun of it but I think this is awesome I'm always trying to find new ways to shape my words Once when we were first dating Lucy got into a habit of giving me a card every couple of days for various reasons Happy Festivus Happy Tuesday I'm Thinking Of You Get Well Soon Sorry I Thought You Were Sick When Really You Just Have Big Red Nose I never got her the first card so on one of our anniversaries can't remember which one but like six months or something I went out and spent like thirty bucks on nothing but happy anniversary cards I wrote someting different in them and hid them all over the place in the car the fridge the bathroom the closet you know every where all over the place consists of She got a card every twenty minutes that day She still has them in a box in her closet or some place to this day If this is getting on your nerves I promise to....  

Friday, July 20, 2007

Harry Potter And The Lack Of Interest

 Why is it every time the subject of Harry Potter comes up people look at me like I’m deaf and they can’t figure out the words my hands are making? So what I HAVEN’T READ THE FIRST WORD OF HARRY POTTER and know zilch about it!! You think there are some tensions between black/whites/hispanics/christians/muslims in this country, wait till people hear you don’t know what a muggle is.

The second people find out this news they all make that same “HOLLY CRAP I’VE FOUND THE LOST ARK” face followed by the “ARE YOU SPEAKING IN TONGUES BECAUSE I HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT THOSE WORDS PUT TOGETHER IN THE SAME SENTENCE MEAN” face followed by the “I MUST CONVERT YOU SINNER” face.

Look there are some books I plan on reading front to back before I die. The Bible, East Of Eden…ok well that’s all I can name right now, but my point is somewhere between the first book coming out and the third one hitting the stands I began to get segregated because of my lack of interest. Hey I like wizards and warlocks and polo just like everybody else, I just never got caught up in the whole “THIS IS THE BEST BOOK KNOWN TO MAN AND IF YOU DON”T READ IT YOU ARE AN ILLITERATE HILLBILLY” thing. Ask me about Spiderman or the latest movie news. I know everything about American Idol!!

So the next time you run into somebody that doesn’t have a clue who this Harry Potter guys is, please just move along and not look at him like an albino alligator down at your local zoo.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Toy Story

We spent most of Saturday putting up the last of the Utility Belt. Little man is growing up quicker than we can keep up and with every month one of our trusted tools gets put up in the attic. No longer can we depend on the swing, bouncy seat, playpen, and jumper to keep him in one spot. Boxes of rattles, bottles, blankies, and boppy pillows are filling up our storages spaces until the day the next child comes along.

Barney is losing his appeal and The Wonder Pets now keep him still the longest. Patches the puppy and Tad the tag along blanket have been replaced with bouncy balls and toy cell phones. This weekend the last remaining weapon left in our arsenal got put out to pasture…goodbye beloved excersaucer.

Off comes the wreath that proudly hung from the door of Lucy’s hospital room and has sense been on Fred’s wall. Down goes the crib he refused to sleep in. Time to take that receiving blanket off its froggie hooks. Soon there will be posters of Superheroes and Cartoon characters adorning his room.

No longer does he want to be held. He hits the door running and never stops until forced to go to bed. Mushy baby food being replaced with pizza and chicken nuggets. Those are my favorite foods…how can he be old enough to split a pizza with?

How do stop you kid from growing up when you’re not ready?


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Confessions Of A Not So Peeping Tom

The North’s go to church with us, so we see them on a regular basis. Sometimes we go out to eat together since we both have kids around the same age. They actually have a very nice house that Fred and I pass everyday on the way to the Hill. Two car garage, a nice patio, basketball goal, swing set…everything you could want in a home. In particular they have a very nice fence that runs around the back of their house and faces the route Fred and I take every morning. Umm….this is where my problem lies and why I’m a bit embarrassed to speak to them at the moment. See the fence is tall enough to stop anyone from looking over it if you are in their yard and not standing on the road running behind the place. But not tall enough so that people can’t see over it and down through their patio doors into the middle of their home while they are in their car taking their son to daycare 5 days a week.

Now I’ll admit the first couple of time I thought “Hey look!! You can see into the North’s house from up here” now it’s more like “Oh crap there’s the North’s place. Look the other way so it won’t appear we are looking”. Then I think “Who am I talking too? Fred is in the back seat playing with a plastic Easter egg”

So now my daily routine has added event that takes place at exactly 7:35 every morning. It’s get up, check email, eat breakfast, get dressed, get Fred dressed, make my lunch, change Fred’s diaper, kiss Lucy goodbye, get Fred in the car, and now look the other way when passing behind the North’s.

Not being a Peeping Tom when your not being a Peeping Tom has never been so hard.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Things Heard At VBS

Lucy and I are helping out with VBS this week. She’s got Fred’s class and I’m watching over the 4th graders. Here are of the things I heard the kids say:

“Michael if you do not stop touching me and pointing at me and saying my name and embarassing me. I am going to tell everyone what you did after that big kid punched you last. Would you like me to do that Michael? Huh?Huh?”

“What’s your favorite kind of meat?”

“No matter what happens tonight will you please tell my mommy that I was good even if you think I might not have been? She said if I was bad I couldn’t come back!”

"We are about to do a skit on The Good Samaritan. Who knows about the good Samaritan?” Everyone raised their hands because what the teacher didn’t know is that just by chance the kids had just come from a skit about The Good Samaritain.

“Why do you have 5 bags of popcorn?” ”People give me what they don’t want to eat” “Ok. Can I clean some of this up or do you need all 5 bags?” “You can throw this one away.” “Why this one?” “I know that girl and she probably did something to it”

“There’s my mom, remember you promised to say I was good.”

"Can I crush his bones?"

"How many minutes do we have left?"

"Dude. Quit calling me dude. My name is not dude. It's Van not dude. Ok dude?"

"Charlie please tell him to quit trying to hit me in the nuts!" "If you keep hitting him in his privates I'm going to give your snack to Dalton" "Can I have that kids snack now?" "No he quit hitting him in the privates" "Aw man!!!"

"Wait I'm her husband who are you three guys?" "We are her husbands!!!" "You are all my husbands" "This is so screwed up"

"I'm an anti-anexx-ite"

"This sucks"

"I hate pizza"

"One time my mom called me for dinner but I was up in a tree really high and couldn't come down so the fire department came and there was a squirrel next to me"


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Birthday Blunders

Friday the 6th was Lucy’s birthday and I was finally able to get her that pony she has always wanted…with a couple of minor details being different than what she initially expected.

  1. It was plastic
  2. It smelled like cupcakes and roses
  3. Fred wouldn’t let her play with it

Other than that like I said, it was the pony she had always wanted. I learned this birthday that women like to have their gifts wrapped and not launched at them as they are wiping the sleepy from their eyes at 7a.m. Oh and I now know her shoe size (it’s NOT an 8 like the ones I bought her but a size 9 like the ones I exchanged them for on my lunch break that day). Finally I received a gift from God by having the smarts to order her balloons/flowers. Now at the time it was a clear attempt to make up for the disasterous birthday gift giving from earlier in the day, but I now feel like I had some help in making the decision to send them her way. That afternoon a customer of hers at the bank who remembered her birthday thought she deserved some flowers. Now I’m sure said customer had no idea that he/she was potentially sending me to the doghouse for several months, but still I think flowers were a bit much and would have been happy seeing her get a gift certificate for free pizza or something less “My husband didn’t even get me something this nice”-ish. Luckily I remembered and mine arrived before theirs did. That about covers it...oh yea..instead of birthday cake we had a slice of cheesecake from a resturant that was open late. Hey folks I don't call myself a blockhead for nothing.


Monday, July 09, 2007

Freddy And The Fireworks

We took Fred to see a couple of fireworks shows last week. A local church always does a huge show and is just a couple of blocks away. We weren’t sure how he would react so we didn’t get that close, but I think mainly he was so sleepy it just bored him. We did however come away with some of the coolest pics we’ve taken in a while. Later on in the week on the actually 4th of July we took him to the city sponsored show and he loved those.