Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Battle Of Jonah Hill

You just don't know how many posts get written that end up deleted after they are done. I pour my heart and soul out on Charlie. I always want to be honest and cover the tough parenting issues while at the same time share the joys of living life. Realistically though not every conversation needs to be shared and as much as I hate to admit it not every problem needs to be blasted on the Internet.

What I will say about today's title is that kids don't always get along with each other and there are times when they need to defend themselves from being taken advantage. I do not encourage fighting but I also do not want my children to live through the pain that I did by being bullied during certain times in my life by adults and other kids.

There is a fine line between walking away from a fight and being taken advantage of because it appears you don't have the courage to throw a punch every now and then.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Getting A KICK Out Of Life

I hate to admit it but my resolution to post everyday was not very realistic. Honestly we are so busy theses days it's a wonder I find time to eat...okay that's a bit of a stretch, but not by much. 1st grade is a ton of work and apparently The Hill has started sending work home for Alex a few times a week. To make the week even more challenging, Adam has started playing soccer and I got drafted to be assistant coach. I'm okay with it though. Quite honestly (and some people are going to roll in their grave when they hear this) I really enjoy it. In fact it's becoming a highlight of my week.

Growing up the only time you would find me getting close to a ball was when I was getting hit face first by one in third period gym class. I hated being outside and was literally locked out of the house on multiple occasions (although now that I'm a parent I have to question what the real motivations behind that were). Twenty four years later I'm taking hikes, going canoeing, and walking to the park every chance I get.

I think a lot of it comes from having two boys. After all we watch the same cartoons, laugh at the same jokes, and generally wish we could just walk around punching random people in the stomach, so why shouldn't we also share the same love of the great outdoors.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Credit For Quackers

Five seconds after your child starts school or daycare for that matter it quickly becomes very apparent that on multiple occasions through the year you will be forced to peddle a variety objects to various friends, family, and coworkers. It's not that I'm against supporting the school and I completely understand the need for additional funds. It's even kinda funny to see employees bartering in the halls at the office.
"I'll buy three rolls of your wrapping paper if you take a dozen of my chocolate chip cookies!"
"You got a deal if you promise me your business come coupon book season"

My problem is how blatantly they wind up the kids in order to bring in the bucks. Growing up I remember getting two catalogs in my packet. One showing what you are selling and the other showing what toy you got based on how many items you sold. On the back they always showed that awesome ten speed bike that you got after selling the equivalent of the gross national product of some middle eastern country. Me I always got the first level prize, usually an eraser or plastic spider ring.

Back to my original rant though...this year the school system has apparently joined the rest of Corporate America in extending credit to any and everyone that walks through the class room door. You see this year's packet came with a set of coupons. For every five cookie orders, you get a rubber duck. The brilliance here lies in the fact that the school knows how children work. When they want something...when they really really want something they become relentless beggars determined to wear you down until you cave out of exhaustion. So knowing this the school added a new twist to this years fundraising program. Ducks on credit.

Forget collecting money, never-mind waiting a few days until somebody gets paid or has exact change, by simply returning a coupon stating your parent has "already sold" five cookies the, school will give the children ducks out of the goodness of their hearts just like Visa gave Mommy & Daddy that trip to the Bahamas last summer.

Like I said brilliant in every way, shape, and form. And the best part is that even though I know exactly what their scam is... I've got two ducks that must be paid for in ten days. Can I interest you in some cookie dough?

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

FORCE Fed Episode I

I'd been putting it off until the time was right and was convinced that Labor Day weekend was perfect. The characters have been around him since he was little from the plastic light saber that he thought was just a regular sword to the yellow Star Wars shirt I bought him a couple years back to the Darth Vader lunch box I almost sent him to school with this year. Finally I decided he was old enough to witness the awesomeness that is Star Wars Episodes 4-6.

My set is the 1997 VHS Special Gold Edition and it's in perfect condition. As I pushed play on the VCR I sat back and prepared to witness what was sure to be a turning point in my six year-old's life. Unfortunately that's not what I got.....

Immediately the questions started: What are those words? Is that Earth? Are they in the wild west? What's up with her hair? Are Power Rangers real? Did they just blow up Earth? Is this real? Did they really blow up Earth? Is this scary? Was that supposed to be funny? Who is that?

Alex stayed put for about 20 minutes before his two-year old body refused to hold back the adrenaline any longer. As I desperately tried to keep everyone focused while facing the barrage of questions coming from Adam, Alex suddenly stood up, removed his pull up, and started performing some type of Chip N Dale's routine. Naked as the day he was born Alex began running every where. Over the couches, around the coffee table, into the kitchen, and back in front of the television where at some point between "These are not the droids you are looking for" and the Millennium Falcon taking off Alex decided that the only thing better than the Nude Olympics would be naked trampolining on top of Daddy.

After an hour I admitted least for the moment....maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe he's not old enough even though all my friends with kids Adam's age love it, maybe it just needs to be the two of us  minus the all naked revue being in town for the night. What ever the reason though, I will not quit until both boys truly understand the power of THE FORCE