Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Credit For Quackers

Five seconds after your child starts school or daycare for that matter it quickly becomes very apparent that on multiple occasions through the year you will be forced to peddle a variety objects to various friends, family, and coworkers. It's not that I'm against supporting the school and I completely understand the need for additional funds. It's even kinda funny to see employees bartering in the halls at the office.
"I'll buy three rolls of your wrapping paper if you take a dozen of my chocolate chip cookies!"
"You got a deal if you promise me your business come coupon book season"

My problem is how blatantly they wind up the kids in order to bring in the bucks. Growing up I remember getting two catalogs in my packet. One showing what you are selling and the other showing what toy you got based on how many items you sold. On the back they always showed that awesome ten speed bike that you got after selling the equivalent of the gross national product of some middle eastern country. Me I always got the first level prize, usually an eraser or plastic spider ring.

Back to my original rant though...this year the school system has apparently joined the rest of Corporate America in extending credit to any and everyone that walks through the class room door. You see this year's packet came with a set of coupons. For every five cookie orders, you get a rubber duck. The brilliance here lies in the fact that the school knows how children work. When they want something...when they really really want something they become relentless beggars determined to wear you down until you cave out of exhaustion. So knowing this the school added a new twist to this years fundraising program. Ducks on credit.

Forget collecting money, never-mind waiting a few days until somebody gets paid or has exact change, by simply returning a coupon stating your parent has "already sold" five cookies the, school will give the children ducks out of the goodness of their hearts just like Visa gave Mommy & Daddy that trip to the Bahamas last summer.

Like I said brilliant in every way, shape, and form. And the best part is that even though I know exactly what their scam is... I've got two ducks that must be paid for in ten days. Can I interest you in some cookie dough?

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