Help Me I'm Bent!

I hate to post Best Of's for two days in a row, but I've come down with a horrible cold/sinus infection/bronchitis....honestly I'm just guessing. It costs so much to go to the Dr. and I'm always afraid they are going to find something horribly wrong so I'm just happier using a combination of advice from friends, a bit of Internet research, and a heavy dose of guess work to determine what is wrong with me. I know it sounds crazy and only proves how stubborn I am, then again if I went to the Dr. every time something hurt I'd be going 3 times a weeks.

I walked around for two months having my arm go completely numb within a minute of sitting down. I called it a pinched nerve and just kept my arm moving. Now it's gone.

My big toe on my right foot got really puffy and very painful. I limped around for a few days, went looking for a cane to help me walk, and found that 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen does a body good. Came back last week so I tried drinking orange juice and it was gone the next day. I'm calling it gout.

I get poison ivy at least once a year. Every go around I wait until I absolutely positively cannot stand it then I go to the Dr. It's like a test to see if I have any self control and every year I fail miserably.

If ever I get a stomach virus or something contagious, I just wait till Mandy gets it and then I cypher offer her meds.

Heaven forbid I were to break anything I wouldn't know it until it started growing back at a 90 degree angle.

Best of Blockhead: In One Day...(March 10,2010)

One day and some odd hours left and the nerves are in full force. This week has flown by, but I just know tomorrow will go at a snails crawl. I need to say though (and I know I mentioned it the other day, but I'm going to again) after just walking in from Church, putting Adam to bed, and coming to the computer....I really have best Church family anybody could ask for. All night we were blessed with prayers, well wishes, and wonderful gifts from some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. I know we are closer to some than others, but my heart goes out to everyone tonight who attended this evening service. No matter what happens this week, next month, or years down the road Mandy and I will never forget your love and support.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is our last day as a family of three. In some ways it's kinda sad. Not because I'd don't want Alex to come, but because the dynamic is changing and I don't want Adam to feel like he's going to get lost in the mix. I love both my boys like crazy and I look forward to all the days ahead, but at the same time similar to what I went through before Adam came bringing with him an end to our days as simply a married couple change is a very scary thing.

I remember all the worry that Adam brought with him. The endless waking up to make sure he's just sleeping soundly and not something else. Then worrying when he does wake up crying. Trying like crazy to keep him healthy, but also making sure he's not being so guarded that he's not being able to experience life. What does this cry mean? Why is he doing that? Should I really be letting that person hold him? It all starts again this Friday....and even after all the worry and woe....I'm so excited I can't see straight.

Best Of Blockhead: To Kill A Fly (November 17th,2009)

There's probably more than a thousand ways to kill a fly. If you really think about it I'd guess you'd agree that the possibilities are limitless when it comes getting rid of the pesky things. All that buzzing around your face, constantly trying to land on your head. At first you try to ignore them. Eventually when swatting them away with your hand isn't enough you begin to look for the heavy artillery. A rolled up newspaper. A fly-swatter. A shoe. A paperback book. I've seen some self proclaimed animal lovers catch the fly in a mid-air, open a nearby door, and release the bug just so it can swoop back inside before the door even closes.

As I said for those with a vivid imagination the ways to end the misery brought on by these flying pests could very well be infinite. Today it seems that Fred may have found his own unique way of taking care of the common house fly. All it requires is a full bladder and the ability to hula. Of course it helps to have a momma as nice as the one he has to come behind and wipe up all the pee off the walls, floor, and ceiling, but it's been several hours now and the fly is yet to make a repeat appearance.

Finally Legal!!!

I am no longer a crook! Yes I'm still a Coke addict, but I'm no longer stealing WiFi from some unsuspecting neighbor who isn't smart enough to lock up their signal (God bless their ignorant souls! I love them!! I truly do!!!). Not that it was all that great a signal though just one bar and at times barely that. It's been a few weeks now that we've been at the new place and I gotta say I may have missed WiFi more than anything! So how am I going to celebrate finally being able to surf the web at full strength again? Going to bed, still sick as a dog.

If you haven't got your fix tonight check out my pals Weird Girl and Father Of Five!

Daddy Has A Coke Problem

I'm sick as a dog tonight so I don't really have anything that deserves it's own post. Instead here's a few....

Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I love sesame seeds. I wish they were on all my breads. Some people eat the cheese off their paper once the burger is gone. Me I lick my finger and get all the sesame seeds off.

# I miss my FRIENDS. I've started watching them every night before bed and it makes me sleep better. Like hanging out with my buddies sharing old stories.

# I think every word that follows the word every should be a compound word. Everyword, everynight, everytime.

# I have a Coke problem. Adam is at that age where he's like a blood hound constantly searching for change. Pennies, Nickles, Quarters, Chuckie Cheese tokens, he doesn't care. Like I said though I have a Coke problem and I need those quarters to get my daily fix. It's gotten so bad that last week I heard of companies that clean their rusted bolts by dipping them in cola and all I could think about was how great it would be to have a Coke while I had to sit there listening to what should be a eye opening story.

# I don't miss having a cat, but I do like living with somebody else's dog. The Gigi has a little puppy name Triscuit. I get all the emotional attachment without the responsibility. I bet that must be what being a grandparent feels like.

# Sometimes I just need to watch a movie where people get the crap beat out of them for an hour & a half. I've seen Rumble In The Bronx at least 50 times. It was on again tonight and after finding out that Adam turned on the shower full blast, left it running for half an hour and wasted all the hot yet never actually stepped foot in the tub, 30 minutes of Jackie Chan beating the stew out of scumbags made life tolerable again.

Lost In Translation

Adam

It's hard when you are first learning the English language. It's I before E except after C, but what about the word freight? Bad can be cool or not good, cool can be almost cold or smooth, there's weather or whether, you get the idea. When it comes to kids sometimes things can be taken way out of context. Take today for example: Alex is showing off at the dinner table and getting all of the attention. Adam is desperately trying to turn the spot light on him, but without any luck. Finally he becomes so obnoxious that we can't take it anymore so Mandy says "Stop it Adam! You're not special!" Now what Mandy was saying is that Adam is not mentally challenged that he is smarter than he was acting at the time, but what Adam heard was that he was not unique not cared for not wanted. The poor kid immediately starts crying and takes off. The Gigi and I don't know if we should laugh or cry. It was hilarious and sad all at the same time.

Alex

Is keeping a band aide over his stitches for the next few days. We change it out at bath-time while it's wet. Last night I said "Okay buddy I need to pull off your boo boo" Alex got the most shocked look on his face and put both hands over his crotch. It was then I realized he must have thought I said "Okay buddy I need to pull off your doodle!"

Time Share

We are at this weird point in the moving process where we are not 100% done with the old place, but things are really pressing to get done at the new. Today we spent the morning at the old getting things cleaned, moving stuff to storage, and the afternoon was cutting grass at the new.

Both the old and the new have chore lists that are a mile long, but there's simply not enough time to do it all on the weekend. I'd say we still got a few car loads at the other house. Still though we are tired of walking around boxes at the new and are really feeling the need to settle down.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex is doing a lot better. The stitches seem to be good and he let us change the band aid this afternoon without any trouble. In five days they will have to be removed. That may be a nightmare.

A Stitch In Time

I got the call around 3:15. I answered to hear Alex screaming his head off. Grabbed my keys and the second I cranked the car the sky fell out. It was the hardest rain I'd driven through in quite some time and I was going about 65 in a 35. I ran the first red light, stopped for half a second at the next in front of the police station, didn't hesitate at the stop sign, and fish tailed into the driveway two seconds later. It was too late, Mandy had already left. She was a good five minutes ahead of me by normal standards, but I managed to pass her on the way to the E.R.

They were hanging pictures and Alex tried to help. Although it only fell a foot...maybe a foot and a half, it caught him in the left eyebrow. It was deep and it was bleeding badly. We ran into the waiting room, took one look around and saw the despair in every one's eyes that could only mean we were in for a huge wait.

Four hours later we walked out with 4 stitches and zero patience. The whole thing was a nightmare. First he was quiet and that made us nervous. Then he got hyper and that got us nervous. Then we got surrounded by inbred hillbillies and that got us nervous. We asked for juice four times, it never came. At one point they shoved a huge machine into our teeny tiny room and said they were ready to X-Ray his finger. "Why his finger?" I asked. "Because this piece of paper says that's what we should do." "That paper is wrong, he's got a cut on his head." Now with attitude the nurse came back "I see he has a cut, the paper says to X-Ray his finger." " Ma,am it's time for you and that piece of paper to leave this room." Mandy chimed in "The guy next door has the cut finger."

Finally we made it home, but it will be months before the events will cease haunting me. The fears that flooded my soul as I drove into some unknown future will take weeks to silence themselves. Thank God he is okay.