Thursday, May 31, 2012

Asia-n Influence

"Are you just home for lunch?"
"You are going back to work, right?"
"Are you home for the day?"
"You will be leaving soon, aren't you?"

Ever since Asia has started watching Adam for the Summer he no longer requires us to be around anymore. While I must admit to being a little jealous, he's apparently been acting like an angel all week so I can't help but be impressed. Since it was partly my idea to hire her I am also partly impressed by my awesome decision making abilities.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Million Mile March

There are days when I jump out of bed. I dash into the new day like a world class marathon runner on mile 1. I blink once & I'm at the office. Blink twice and it's lunch time with my favorite girl. Blink three times and I'm wrapping up the day at the park with my boys.

Then there are days like today that start with Alex waking me up by pulling
my eye lids over my forehead. I fall asleep in the shower and need two cups of coffee to make it to lunch. Every step forward feels like I'm a million miles from home. I pray for mercy and all I want is the one thing I can't have i.e to be back under the covers in bed.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Splash Of Misery

It seemed innocent enough, we surprised the kids with a trip to the splash pad. We went through the usual check list: sun screen, towels, backpack, flip-flops. Like everything else it was 30 minute process. During that 30 minutes the excitement built to an almost fever pitch. The kids started dancing, singing songs about how great we their eyes we can do no wrong! All that changed in seconds.

We pull up and start the unloading process: sun screen, towels, backpack, flip-flops etc. all of this only to take three steps into the park and realize that there is a private invite only party going on. Gone are the songs about how great we are, the smiles have all turned upside down, tears began to flow. It wasn't our fault, but knowing that and not feeling that way are two different things.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Badminton Bandit!!!

We spent a hour inflating a pool that deflated in 20 minutes. We took an hour to fill 100 water balloons only to have them disappear in 5 minutes. We made homemade pineapple ice-cream. We did all of this & more before finding out this afternoon that Adam is a badminton bandit!!!

He runs to the right. Dashes to the left. Leaps as high as a building. Dives to the net. All of this in hopes of making that next shot. He is everywhere at once and nowhere more than a split second. He is the badminton bandit!!

In Mememorial

Today is Memorial Day. With all the swirling chaos that constantly surrounds us, it's easy to understand why we might forget what this day means. All too often we take for granted the freedoms so many died to protect.

I am not a soldier, yet I have known some great men who were. I've seen the faces of their families as they describe what their loved ones are going through overseas. I've heard the cries of those who have gotten the news nobody should ever have to hear.

It's with all of this in mind that Mandy & I set aside part of the day to talk with Adam about the true meaning of Memorial Day. To teach him that we are only free because of the men that fought for that freedom. Soon after with flags in hand, Adam & Alex spent an hour marching to patriotic songs all through the house.

God Bless America

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Pool Talk

The new house has a pool slash frog pond. It hasn't been used in years for reasons we thought involved repairs needing to be made. Friday we learned things are not what we thought.

As it turns out the previous owners had completed repairs, but before they could test out the work done on it they moved. Essentially what I'm saying is that we could very well have a fully functional pool outside our back door and not know it.

The thought of this is slowly driving Mandy & I bonkers as the temps outside slowly creep to 100. What if all that needs to be done is adding water?

A Rat's Tale

Growing up I had one. That really long strand of hair that went down the back of my neck. Some kids up'd the cool factor by having their entire head buzzed except for that one strand in the back thus giving them a true rat tail appearance.

Alex is now a little over two years old and has yet to get his first hair cut. It's coming soon, but we are just not ready yet. Yesterday we were hanging out around the pool when he turned around. The water had laid his hair flat across his back and the result was a very long lock of hair going straight down his back.

"Check it out! Alex has got a rat tail!!"
"Where Dad?! I don't see a rat!"
"On his head Adam. It's a rat tail"
"Alex has got a rat in his hand?"
"No his hair looks like a rat's tail"
"I don't see a rat on his head...."

I tried to explain it a dozen times, but Adam still kept looking for a rat.

Rock Me Hot Potato

One of the funniest things to me is to hear songs get mangled by people who think they are singing the right words. Up until this past Thursday my all time favorites were  "Hold me closer Tony Danza!!" and "I'd die without shoe's". This past week Adam topped them all.

What was sang:
Amedeus, Amedeus, Amedeus
Amedeus, Amedeus, Amedeus
Amedeus, Amedeus, oh Amedeus!

What Adam heard:
Hot potato, hot potato, hot potato
Hot potato, hot potato, hot potato
Hot potato, hot potato, oh I want a hot potato

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Education Of Mandy Beck

I was trying to educate Mandy on the joys of The Rolling Stones (I was a butcher cuttin the meat! My hands are bloody, I'm dying on my feet!) when I was quickly reminded that Mandy had been educated enough today. You see after ten weeks of classes and two weeks of prepping for the big test.....Mandy is officially a liscensed real estate agent!!!

We are sooo very proud of her. Nothing ever worth having comes easy and she has literally put in her share of blood, sweat, and tears to make this achievement happen. We have of course been praying for this moment and for God to show us the path he desired for us to take. Finally those prayers have been answered. Thanks to everyone's support. Today was an awesome day!

Best Of Blockhead: Return Of The Flash (August 30,2007)

I just don’t seem to be posting about my favorite person anymore. Fred has turned into the coolest thing I have ever been a part of in my entire life. He doesn’t cry. He’s not whiney. He plays. That’s what the little guy does and he’s the best at it. I’ve never been the type to catch the spotlight when I walk into a room, but boy does my son know how to light up a room!! Take last Friday night for example.

The Gigi works at a retirement home (I prefer old folks home, but they don’t seem to like being called old folks Lucy calls them Littles) and part of her job is to organize different activities to keep them alive (entertain them). So last Friday night the whole place plus a few fraternity/sorority members turn out for an old fashioned sock hop. Root beer floats, moon pies, a boom box blasting the oldie goldie tunes of the 50’s 60’s, and there in the center of the room lies a dance floor.

Of course Fred spent the night running up and down and sideways around the joint. Bopping from one poodle skirted granny to the next, completely unaware that just outside the walls a major storm was taking place. Lightning, rain, the whole bit. Except none of it could be heard over all the noise the party was creating. So just to set things up Lucy and I are way across the room watching Fred dance around a couple of grannies when


The thunder clapped so loud the lights blink and 15 old men fall to the floor grasping their chests (ok nobody fell out just adding to the story). Out of nowhere Fred throws back his arms, screams OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!, and kicks those little legs into light speed….going nowhere in particular. He’s just running like his life depends on it and his arms are too slow to keep up. He doesn’t care where we are at he just knows he’s not going to be where he was the next time whatever that was decides to blow up again. Suddenly he trips and falls flat on his face, but his legs are moving so fast they somehow scoop him up and carry him to the end of the room straight to his GiGi!! Nobody’s run that fast in that place since the whole all you can eat prune disaster of 1995!!

Jumping Freddy Flash Is Fast Fast Fast!!

I'm behind by two days in my posting and I'm not ready to let this New Year's resolution go by the way side so tonight you are getting three doses of Charlie!

If you know Adam then you know how much he loves to run. He has no concept of walking and every where he goes there's a sonic boom moments afterward. It's no wonder we used to call him Freddy The Flash. Now that baseball is officially over and the endless string of sports along with it (baseball, then football, then basketball, then baseball again all within weeks of each other), I've decided to test the waters of track & field. After all if,  running is his talent what a better way for him to use it.

I took him to the local track yesterday and could not believe my eyes. He ran around the entire thing without stopping!!! He then rested for a moment, took a few deep breaths, and did it a second time!!! I'm seriously looking into local marathons for him to run in. The only thing stopping me is that I'm not sure if I will be able to keep up with him.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Airplane Airplane I'm On My Way

I picked up an app yesterday that teaches you how to make 20 different types of paper airplanes. Adam is all into them especially since I told him how my dad was the master paper folder.

Growing up I can remember paper boats that could float for miles. Gliders that could sail over entire cities. Loopty loops that would do dozens of barrel rolls.

Adam is amazed by the stories and is begging me to pass on the tradition. So
as they say; practice makes perfect.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

My New Pet Peeve

My new pet peeve is this....people who ask my opinion about something then drive you crazy when you say the opposite of what you think. One minute you are minding your own business and the next you're suddenly on trial for treason. For example:

"I've decided to spray paint the car black. What do you think?"
"I think the color that the car is now is fine. Besides that's tacky!"
"Tacky! What do you mean by that?! I was trying to save money. I saw somebody do it on TV and it looked good. You must not know what I'm talking about. You don't even know what tacky is. I wasn't asking you anyway. I was telling you what I was going to do."

This has happened to me three times this week from various people.

Message Mix Up

I'm not the fastest text messenger in the west, but I do okay. At times while waiting on someone to respond I have been known to carry on 3 discussions at one time. Today I apparently proved this may not always be the best idea.

To Mom: u coming over today?

To Mandy: How is Adams team party @ the park?

Mom: what time u going to be home?

Mandy: it's raining.

To Mom: after 3:00

To Mandy: I bet Adam loves that.

Mom: let me see something...

Mandy: he's running wild.

Mom: okay I can come

Mom: I'm going to kill your child!!!

To Mom: I don't want u coming over then!!!

Mom: why not?!

To Mom: oops sorry!!! I thought u were coming over to kill one of the boys. Mandy is going to do it instead

It was.....

A great idea to walk to Gattman park for Adam's team party.

A great opportunity to get some exercise.

A good way to spend some family time.

About half the way there when it started pouring down rain.

A good thing I'd been working out for three weeks because I had to run 3 blocks back to get the van.

A blessing I have such a forgiving wife who patiently waited in some random strangers carport with Alex crying until I could make it back to them.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Worry Just Won't Seem To Leave My Mind Alone

Wednesday night seven o'clock church services are always a tricky thing to get to. The kids are both soaked in sweat after school. Dinner has to be ate. Clothes have to be changed. Plus it's not like Mandy or I leave at exactly five o'clock everyday.  Somehow we manage and for good reason.

Tonight's lesson was all about worry and how the only thing we should be really concerned about (to a certain degree) is whether or not we are living our lives for God. Worry constantly plagues me and slows down my every decision. I've yet to find a way to shake this off, but tonight's lesson definitely helped. A little bit of luck would do wonders though....

Tonight also featured Alex's debut performance as a song leader. The moment the closing song started his arm went up and he started swaying it up and down/back and forth. The entire place was cracking up!

Back On The Wagon

Last week I wrote about the problems with my new involuntary diet and how I was off the wagon already. Today I'm happy to report that I am learning new ways to eat, even in a fast food environment. My first accomplishment has been to ignore french fries. Fries are my kryptonite. Hardly my most favorite food ever, but they are always around. Next I've learned the joy of a grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce only and no sauce. Combined with a fruit smoothie and it makes for a healthy alternative to a double cheeseburger with bacon. So far I've managed to quit drinking soda, I'm drinking more water and Mandy even got me some sugar free cookies the other night to help my chocolate fix! Plus I'm exercising at least every other day. I know a week is a long way from a habit, but they say that it only takes a month to make a routine permanent. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Monday Night Blues

Not much going on tonight. Alex has an ear infection so I'm taking tomorrow off. Thank goodness for sick days. Adam is down to only a week and a half of school left. He's ready for summer to start mainly because his favorite babysitter of all time Asia Duren will be keeping him for the next three months. For me it all feels like it's going by too fast. If I could freeze a moment in time it might be this one. Alex as cute as a button wondering from room to room laughing at every little thing. Adam learning to read, singing church songs, always ready to play or wrestle with his dad. Life is changing too fast to keep up with.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Maywood Youth Rally Group Picture

Potato Chip Potato Chip

Saturday I took Adam to a youth rally at Maywood Christian Camp. He absolutely loved it and couldn't wait to spend the whole week. Here is his favorite song:

Potato Chip, Potato Chip
Munchie Crunchie
I love Jesus
A bunchie bunchie

Of course I couldn't remember the words when we got home so I made up my own version he liked better.

Potato Chip, Potato Chip,
Potato Chip, CRUNCH!
Who loves Jesus as much as US?
Sock it to the Devil UUUUUUGGGHHHH!

I Still Resolve Too

Back at the first of the year I made a list of News Year's Resolutions and I thought it would be neat to go over those just to see how I'm doing. Here goes:

  1. I resolve to go to the dentist more than I did last year......I have not done this yet. I almost went last week but my tooth stopped hurting so I opted out. Who knows if I get around to this or not...the year's not over yet

  2. I resolve to try harder to not bite my nails....I have good days and bad weeks. I am getting better though!

  3. I resolve to lose weight.....This is happening. Mainly because of my recent heath scare in which the Dr. told me I was killing my self by eating what I want whenever I want. My cholesterol was through the roof and I was having chest pains

  4. I resolve to watch less TV, read more, and play outside more with the boys....I'm doing this more too. The new house came with a huge yard that just begs to be played in.

  5. I resolve to be a better husband....You'd have to ask Mandy about this one, but I'd say I'm way more patient.

  6. I resolve to pray more and not just close my eyes while wondering what's for lunch, dinner, breakfast, etc....This is definitely happening. I feel closer to God then ever before.

  7. I resolve to save money and be in a better financial position come the end of 2012....Working on it. Every journey has hills and valleys. So does every financial period.

  8. I resolve to be a better Christian.....I pray that I am. I'm definitely more focus on getting Adam involved more at Church. To see it as something more than just a place to run and play with friends.

  9. I resolve to help others more....This one I need to work on.
There was one last resolution that I have kept and really enjoyed. I resolve to post all 365 days this year. So far I've lived up to that.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Nothing Left To Do But Admit She's Always Right

My day started out on the wrong foot trying to get Adam to take a shower before school. It was late last night when we got home from church and done with dinner. I mistakenly thought it would be easier to get him up and in the shower then it would keeping him up another half hour past his bed time. Not one to always have her way, Mandy simply agreed to go along with the idea.....boy was I wrong. Getting him in the shower was not really the problem it was getting him to do more than just stand there. At the two minute mark he was barely even wet. After 5 minutes he had managed to scoot under the water. Surely I thought to myself after 10 minutes in the shower he'd be done.....he was all wet but had not touched the soap. As I stood there threatening various forms of torture if he didn't get a move on it, one thought kept repeating itself "How did she know? Why is she always right!!"

Thankfully she would never rub it in my face; still how can one person be so right about every single thing?

Tonight I decided to take the long way home thinking I'd drive by to check out the old house. Within seconds she caught on to what I was doing, sharing her concern that it might make Adam sad. I shrugged it off and kept going. A block away Adam says "I miss the old house so much. Can we go see it?" Trying to recover Mandy gave it her best shot "I just wanted Daddy to look at something over here. Look Daddy there it is." Not giving up Adam pleaded "Can we please see the old house?"

Some people are born with the ability to do mass calculations in their heads. Others can draw master works of art. There are those that can remember every book they have ever read word for word. My wife? She always knows the right thing to do. Thank God I have her.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Too Soon To Slide Back

It's been week and I've fallen off the wagon. I'm back to eating whatever I want. Not excercising like I should. Not taking my medicine. Will power has never been my strong suit, but even still it's a little early to be falling off a wagon I barely have even climbed aboard yet. If you see me eating junk food scold me and tell me I'm an idiot.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

I'm Virbra! What's Your Sign?

Since I started getting the paper delivered to my door on a daily basis, I've become addicted to the comics page and the horoscope section. Sometimes I like to read my horoscope in the morning, sometimes I like to read it at the end of the day just to see if they got it right. The thing that I don't get about these little bits of wisdom is how do they pinpoint the exact day you switch signs. I mean where do they (whoever they are that come up with these things) decide that if you (like myself) are born on Sept 22 at 11:59:59 you are a Virgo, but one second later you are suddenly a Libra. For an industry built around being as vague as humanly possible that seems like a very specific line in the sand. Instead of pondering this mystery of the universe, I simply work around this conundrum by reading both the Virgo and Libra fortunes and picking out which one I like best. Let's look at today's:

Avoid passionate discussions with romantic partners today. People are entrenched in their views, and they are very jealous as well. Be cool.

Impulsiveness and emotional outbursts with family members will be the order of the day. Therefore, tread carefully! A small comment could escalate into a messy scene.

Essentially the above say the same thing i.e. "if not careful you are going to get in a fight with someone you live with" so if given a choice between the two today I'm a Libra. After all I'd much rather argue with Adam aka "a family member" than Mandy otherwise known as "my romantic partner"

Monday, May 07, 2012

Best Of Blockhead: Welcome To Walmart. Now With Less Clothing! (June 09,2009)

Somebody asked about Fred recently and if he was as hard to handle as their child. The answer to this is of course "He's way worse than your kid", because honestly who doesn't think their child is the biggest handful ever to be brought into this world. The question did spark a string of recent memories that I feel proves Fred (though he may seem out of control at times) is everything an All American Child should be.

Like last week during vacation bible school, right there in middle of the puppet show he decided to stand up and show the crowd how well he can do flips. He did 3 before I was able to stop him.

The next night he ran as hard as he could, caring less of where he was going, and managed to look up just in time to see the support beam hit him dead center between the eyes. It's been a week and he's still got two blackeyes.

Monday night he slept in his Spiderman costume. At 3:30 that morning he woke us up because he'd had an accident and gotten it all wet. It took us half an hour to convince him to change clothes.

One thing we are learning is that spanking may be useful at times, but in the end (no pun intended) it really doesn't have any long lasting effect. I think it's because during the normal course of the day he somehow manages to hurt his own self at least two dozen times, so us adding a couple of licks turns out to be nothing compared to what he's already been inflicted on his poor knees and elbows. To get to Fred you have to out think him. Pull out some logic and blind him. Dazzle him with your common sense and wisdom.....and if that doesn't work distract him with a distant prize that can only be obtained by listening to Mommy and Daddy. And even then he can't help but be who he is......the kid that out of the blue decided yesterday that it would be fun to chant "Let's get naked!!" over and over while we stood in line at Wal-mart.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Lessons From Ali The Alligator

Ali the alligator is Adam's class mascot. She's green with big eyes, a cute smile, and body that just begs to be cuddled. She also happens to be Adam's homework assignment this weekend. Each Friday one student is selected to take Ali home with them, take pictures of all the adventures they have together, and write a report about all the fun they had. Adam thought this was the best most wonderful thing ever and made sure that everywhere he went so did Ali.

Over the past few days we've collected snapshots of Ali eating popcorn at Adam's baseball game. She was caught playing with Adam in the middle of a wheat field. Ali went on our tour of local parks yesterday where she got to see a waterfall, Indian Tee Pee, and take a riverfront walk. She even managed to make it to the comic book store and the Avengers movie with us. Today Ali attended Sunday school with Adam and tonight she was there enjoying a turkey sub at Lenny's right next to her pal Adam.

Wouldn't it be great if we all had a friend that would shadow us like Ali. Someone who was always there to give us a hug when we need it the most, make us laugh at exactly the right time, and help us feel safe late at night when it's just us and our thoughts. Adam would certainly attest to the fact that Ali is a great listener, never lets him down, and never asks for anything in return other than love. Luckily we do....

Just like Ali the alligator, God is there for us no matter what. Through the Bible his words of inspiration speak to us in our time of need and through him all things are possible. I know we may not be able to see him all the time, but if we would learn to just stop and listen God is always speaking to us. It might be through the feeling we get from the evening breeze, the sound of a little child praying, or a voice deep down inside us all that knows the true way out of a tough situation. As Adam prepares to say goodbye to Ali the alligator, I pray he never forgets his other constant companion the Lord Jesus Christ and the sacrifice he made so we could all live.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Family Day In May

Mandy and I think it's important to take the kids out on the town every couple of weeks just to have fun. There are always going to be a ton of things to do around the house, but you gotta learn when to set those aside and focus on the fun things in life. Today we ran with that thought and tried to do every fun thing in town.

First we went to the waterfall. Adam jumped in a puddle of course splashing mud all up his back, but we found a millipede and Alex learned he hated the place. Next up Casa! Fajitas for Mandy, cheeseburger for  Adam, nuggets for Alex, and low cholesterol Bill got Mexican rice with grilled shrimp and vegetables on top. Next up free ice cream and a walk down by the river to see the Indian Tee P's. That lead to Adam wanting to go to the dips which are a series of hills in Sheffield that make you feel like you're riding a roller coaster. Two rides later and we were ready for a quick walk at the new River Front park pier which Mandy hadn't seen before, but Adam and I fish off of sometimes. After a quick stop to pick up the Gigi, Adam and I went see the most awesome superhero movie of all time The Avengers while the rest of gang went shopping! Adam wore his Ironman costume and every person that walked by told him how cool he was! He even clapped a few times as the HULK took care of business. Last but not least a trip to the grocery store to get some cholesterol free foods then home to crash.

From start to finish we visited 3 different parks, saw one 2 1/2 hr movie, and were gone from 10 this morning to 8 this evening.

The Occasional Withdrawal

I'm not going to lie Thursday was a hard day. I'm not naive enough to think that the tests were going to come back 100% perfect, but I didn''t really expect the hammer to be dropped either. It's only been a couple of days and I'm trying to make changes. I'm taking it seriously and I'm getting a ton of support from those around me. Mandy could not be a better wife. Soooo supportive. Anyways I'm trying to watch what I eat but it feels like someone else has different plans for me at times; take yesterday for example.

It was Field Day at Adam's school and we met him for lunch. Mandy asked if I planned to eat there or get something after and I couldn't help but think of what he normally gets for lunch i.e. vegetables, juice, turkey slices, etc....instead what's on the menu? Hot Dogs and potato chips. Can you believe it? I did the right think though and passed, opting to head over to Zaxby's for a grilled chicken sandwich. Figuring I'll grab some baked Lays and a bottle of water at the office, I just ordered the sandwich.

"I'd like the grilled chicken sandwich, plain with no tomato"
"You don't want the meal?"
"No thanks just the sandwich"
"Would you like something to drink with that?"
"That's okay. Just the sandwich."

As I'm walking out I notice the bag is kinda full so I stop to find out why and...I got free fries! Now a week ago I would have stopped right there in the middle of the restaurant and Tim Tebow'd as I thanked the Lord for my good fortune. Things are different now. I'm playing by a different set of rules. As I stand there staring at the fries, I notice my friend Kenny Ford who was aware of what I'd been going through the last few days sitting nearby and I explain.

"Kenny! Free fries! They gave me free fries!!!"
"That's okay. Eat them"
"Kenny! Dude we talked about this last night these could kill me!"

That's when Kenny open up the gates of wisdom and poured forth a bit of gold.

"Bad food is like borrowing money. If you go to the bank everyday and borrow money soon you'll be broke with nothing to show for it but heartache. But if you go to the bank one day a week to borrow money, it won't hurt you because you've been depositing money into it all week."

So I ate those evil fries and today I passed when they were offered again. Thanks Kenny!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

The Results Are In!!!

As if I needed yet another reason to hate tests (I'm horrible at them), the results from my physical are in and the blood tests weren't good. Seems I am not the perfect specimen of a man I once was. As of this afternoon at roughly 1:00 central time, I have turned into Heathcliff Huxstable. Not the cool Heathcliff from the earlier years that always had a smile and a funny story to tell. Sadly I'm the older version that had to sneak around with a footlong hoagie hidden in his gym bag and slices of apple pie under a Tupperware container full of lettuce. The difference being the earlier was happy because he was eating whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it and the later was forced to live off rabbit food. Just so you the reader know the extent of my problem here are the official results:

Total cholesterol ---Mine was 258

Normal: below 200 mg/dL

Borderline high: 200–239 mg/dL

High: 240 mg/dL and higher

LDL cholesterol ---Mine was 165

Normal: below 100 mg/dL

Borderline high: 100–129 mg/dL

High: 130 mg/dL and higher

HDL cholesterol ----Mine ws 42

Normal: 60 mg/dL and higher

Borderline low: 40–59 mg/dL

Low: 40 mg/d and lower

Triglycerides ----- Mine was 255

Normal: 150 mg/dL and lower

Borderline high: 150–199 mg/dL

High: 200 mg/dL and higher

As you can see I'm high in ever category. Goodbye pizza, bacon, pretzels, burgers, and pretty much any chance of eating real food ever again. Very bummed about this.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

The Results Are....Coming Tomorrow

Unfortunately not much to add to last night's post other than I don't know anything and I'm back to eating junk food now that I know my heart is okay. Still though they want me to wear a monitor which the insurance company ok'd today. I figure I will schedule the appointment once the blood and x-ray results show up. And I'm not entirely on the junk food, I just sorta fell off the wagon tonight. 3 cookies. However I did eat a grilled chicken salad for dinner with dressing on the side...and bit of Lex's chicken tender...and a couple spoon fulls of ice cream. Sounds like somebody needs will power.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Let's Get Physical

I hate the title of this post, but couldn't shake it. Much like the song of the same name that won't get out of my head. I hate going to the doctor too (no this is not my grouchy smurf impression). Actually it's much more than that. Not a hate based on fear, more so a hate centered on the fact that some where deep down in my psyche it means I've given in to the pain and must admit I'm not an over grown muscle head (which you'd think one look in the mirror would rectify). Going to the doctor means I'm not able to tough it out. On a separate level going to the doctor also means that I'm putting actions behind my ache of the day.

The ache of the day could be back pain, maybe a cold, stiffness in the neck, a possible return of the gout. Very seldom could I honestly say nothing hurts. I don't walk around complaining all the time mind you, but there is typically a daily internal battle going on as to whether or not it really hurts that bad or am I just exaggerating. The point to all of this is that today I went for my first physical. Not a "turn your head and cough" physical more like an "lets just make sure you're still breathing properly" physical. I've been having chest pains for a week. I'm not falling over three times a day grasping my chest or anything. What I've been feeling is more like a spasm at times and an ache at others. Nine times out of ten the left side of my neck hurts so I've been writing it off as an extension of that. Yesterday morning there wasn't a pain of the day and yet the spasms were still there and so were the aches. Mandy didn't have to push too hard to get me to make an appointment.

It started with my shirt off. Scratch started with me not being able to eating anything after 6:30 this morning. I'm hypoglycemic so come 2:00 this afternoon things were already kinda fuzzy. The EKG was first and that's where taking my shirt off came in. I think that was the first women to see me with my shirt off since 1997-ish when I started dating Mandy. I tend to swim with a shirt on. No sense in flaunting what I got. As the electrodes were placed all around I fully expected to flop on the table like I was going into cardiac arrest once the kicked the juice on. Instead nothing and honestly I was kinda dissapointed....

Next up I had to describe all that was wrong which included an explanation on why I waited a week and how I'm fully aware that I'm mental. The EKG came back fine and then came the hints that it my by my gallbladder. I'm going to try not to offend a few people here, so this is me treading lightly.....gallbladder surgery is the medical equivalent of Air Jordans. Jordans used to be huge!! Even last year people were lining up a week a head of time to give $200-$300 bucks for a pair of shoes. I remember in high school kids were "Do you have your Jordans? Are you gonna get Jordans? Check out my Jordans? Love my awesome Jordans!! They make me jump higher!!" That's how I see gallbladder surgery. I'm the only one that still has mine and everyone I know won't shut up about how awesome it is not having one, until of course lunch time comes around and they see me eating an entire large pizza with 50 toppings on it. Oh and pooping at a moments notice just doesn't sound like the thrill ride some of you are making it out to be. 

Still though there is the spasm (flutter) they poked my right side so deeply their finger came out my left side then asked if it hurt. Which of course it did, kinda like falling a fence post would except I was left looking at the lady with the thought that now was the time to see her diploma from an accredited college. My blood pressure was the lowest it's been in a long time so no talk of a daily pill. Then there was talk of making me walking around with a heart monitor for 24hrs, but insurance had to approve it first so that idea was tabled. Finally I had three large vials of blood, two x-rays, and any hope of them not finding something wrong from me taken and was sent on my way pending McD's where I enjoyed my first bite in over 9 hours in the form of a double quarter pounder with fries and a coke.