Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Yes Man

"Alex did you scratch Stan?"
"Did you get sent to the office?"
"Was he picking on you?"

Time out. He's saying yes to everything. Let's try something....

"Alex did Stan steal your giraffe?"
"Did he make you wear clown makeup?"

Later that night....

"Alex, who did you scratch?"
"And what happened?"
"Big trouble go to the office"
"Right. So are you going to scratch Stan again tomorrow?"

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A Wealth Of Elf On The Shelf

Every year around this time we pull out the good'ole Elf On The Shelf in hopes of keeping the kids off Santa's Naughty List. The way the story goes is that the Elf (ours is named Flash) watches over the boys each day and every night he visits Santa to report what's he's witnessed. He's a very mischievous little thing so in the mornings it's always a sure bet that he will be found digging in the snack bowl, riding in Spider-Man's car, or wrestling with the Incredible Hulk. It's a well known fact that if a person touches the Elf he losses all his magic and will never be able to tell Santa all the good deeds he's witnessed.

Last night the "Elf" was playing in Adams room and he apparently left it in a huge mess. In his defense the "Elf" was trying to invite the Hulk to play and it was very dark in Adams room. The "Elf" promises to do a better job covering his tracks going forward.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Tele-revisionist History

I was telling a story today. The story of our 56" projection screen television going out overnight, when I was suddenly hit by another story I had long forgotten.

It too involved a television and while the details and exact date may be off a month or two, it's a good story just the same. Mandy was just days away from having Adam and was ready to pop. We woke up that morning like any other, me preparing to head to work at Anderson Press and Mandy facing another long day of bed rest. As you may have guessed the television had gone out.

Now normally a TV hitting the skids wouldn't be considered an emergency, but we are talking about a very pregnant very uncomfortable mother of a soon to be born 8 lb bouncing baby boy. Doing what any other good husband would do I heeded my wife's request when she pleaded " I cannot sit here in this bed all day and stare at the walls. You have to do something." So that morning at 6:30 AM I found myself at Walmart looking to buy whatever television they had on sale.

As I mentioned today I found myself in a similar situation, waking up to find the television had gone out. And wouldn't you know that same TV purchased some six years ago is now being called back to active duty.

On second though this really wasn't the best story.....

Monday, November 12, 2012

Cane & Able

So much for resolutions. Waaaay back in January I promised to post everyday, a promise I kept until recently. October was hard on us as a family and in particular myself as a person. We were all sick with various illnesses ranging from the normal everyday sinus infection to the more dire pneumonia (Adam). To say we were missing in action would be an understatement. We missed church, work, school, soccer games, Fun Fest, football games, a catfish fry, and everyone in between as we spent weeks locked inside fighting for survival. I even spent four days walking around with a cane thanks to a bum ankle that started hurting out of no where and thankfully disappeared the same way.

By the time it was all over I had changed without even realizing it. I'd become bitter. Selfish. I was a jerk and generally unpleasant person to be around. I withdrew from the world content with feelings of misery and self depreciation. My children were affected and so was my marriage. I gained 15 pounds and all I wanted in life was my couch, my remote, and a bag of cookies.

Not everything was gloom and doom. Don't get me wrong. There were good times...Adam was convinced a character in one of his books was called Butt Bunny on the same night Alex went around the house looking in people's underwear determined to prove it wasn't him that was dirty....Alex took after a little boy at the soccer field who in his mind was the real life Little Bill...Adam feel in love with soccer...and together dressed as Dracula and Iron Man, Adam & Alex enjoyed a very happy Halloween.

All the good aside though somewhere along the way I sorta lost myself a bit. I'm back now. I feel good and the fog has cleared. I know what's important again and they will never doubt how much they mean to me. What can I say other than I'm only human. There was only one perfect person and he died so that I may live. I pray I get to thank him in person for his sacrifice one day.