Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
extreme changes in mood
changes in personality
thin, fragile skin
red or purple blotches or lines under the skin
slowed healing of cuts and bruises
increased hair growth
changes in the way fat is spread around the body
eye pain, redness, or tearing
sore throat, fever, chills, cough, or other signs of infection
loss of contact with reality
muscle twitching or tightening
shaking of the hands that you cannot control
numbness, burning, or tingling in the face, arms, legs, feet, or hands
sudden weight gain
shortness of breath, especially during the night
dry, hacking cough
swelling or pain in the stomach
swelling of the eyes, face, lips, tongue, throat, arms, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs
difficulty breathing or swallowing
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
* Had to go the pharmacy for me (I'm on the roids again more on that later). The pharmacist sees us and says "Oh those poor boys what do they have now?" Apparently we have been going by there a bunch if she knows our names and faces.
* I've still not gotten a haircut out of spite. Today somebody asked me if I'd gotten a perm. Mandy says I look like one of the Golden Girls. She's leaning towards Blanche, but I might be a Dorothy.
* Adam refuses to let anyone forget that I once ran a red light taking him to school. Every time I get behind the wheel with someone other than the two of us in the car, he insists on saying how I just got tired of waiting and went on even though it was red.
*I think typing is taking the place of conversation in my world. At the office I always feel more comfortable sending emails and go as far as not answering a call then emailing seconds later so the person understands I'd rather conduct business in a way so I have a record of what is said. Instead of calling I typically only text. At night I tell my best stories via Charlie Blockhead. Now I've started Tweeting of all things. I'm afraid it's gotten so I don't know how to converse with anyone.
*I went to the Dr. today because of the Ivy on my arm. I only go to the Dr once a year and as if I needed to somehow prove it I pulled into the parking lot to find an abandoned building. Apparently they had been gone for some time and I never knew.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tonight's practice also gave Catcher Mom a chance to shine in all her angry glory. Catcher Mom sits in the bleachers making small talk until her daughter gets up to bat and then turns into the Bobby Knight of machine pitch baseball. From directly behind the plate fence she yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLAYING GOLF!!!" "IS THERE A BUG UP THERE YOU KEEP SWATTING AT. TELL ME AND I"LL COME GET IT FOR YA SO YOU CAN CONCENTRATE""GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!! BEAR DOWN"
Catcher Mom always likes to act like she knows how crazy she sounds as she sheepishly heads back to her seat proclaiming fake embarrassment in the way she's just acted. Meanwhile the little 6 yr old girl that just got torn a new one can't wait to get to way left field so she can be out of ear shot. Tonight I almost joined her out there.
Monday, March 26, 2012
A daytime apparition of Venus in the sky was famously spotted by none other than President Abraham Lincoln in 1865.
It was March 4, 1865, and the streets of Washington, D.C., were packed with crowds watching the inauguration of Abraham Lincoln for his second term as president. Suddenly someone in the crowd spotted something strange in the sky: a tiny brilliant point of light. Excitement swelled through the crowd as each person pointed it out to their neighbor. The commotion even reached as far as the Lincoln himself, and soon he too was pointing at the brilliant point in the sky.
One of Lincoln's bodyguards, Sergeant Smith Stimmellater, described it this way: "Soon after the President concluded his address, he entered his carriage, and the procession started up Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House, the escort from our Company following next to his carriage. Shortly after we turned onto Pennsylvania Avenue, west of the Capitol, I noticed the crowd along the street looking intently, and some were pointing to something in the heavens toward the south. [Great Skywatcher Photos of Venus and Jupiter]
"I glanced up in that direction, and there in plain view, shining out in all her star-like beauty, was the planet Venus. It was a little after midday at the time I saw it, possibly near one o'clock; the sun seemed to be a little west of the median, the star a little east. It was a strange sight. I never saw a star at that time in the day before or since. The superstitious had had many strange notions about it, but of course it was simply owing to the peculiarly clear condition of the atmosphere and the favorable position of the planet at that time. The President and those who were with him in the carriage noticed the star at the same time.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I Pee Freely- I took Adam to practice on Tuesday and everything seemed to be okay. He hit the ball a couple times (still getting used to the machine) then took his turn in right field. I sat there an hour and watched him play never thinking that something completely crazy was going on right in front of me. I soon found out after practice that not all was as it seems. "So Adam before we leave I figure you gotta go to the bathroom, right?" "No Dad. I just went" "Adam, I just sat in the bleachers for an hour watching you. You never left the field." "I know Dad." "So what are you talking about?" "I pee'd while I was out there!" "Um you just stood out there and pee'd in the middle of the field?" "Yep" "Are your socks wet?" "No daddy it was just a little. Only my underwears are wet."
The Run Down- Like most brothers my boys fight on occasion and for the most part spend some time each day getting on one anothers last nerve. The problem however is that Adam knows it's wrong to strike Alex, but Alex is still only 2 and hasn't learned the rules yet. The result is that there are times when Alex gets a couple in before the ref can make a clean break. Today we were all outside and the boys were making the driveway on their scooter and big wheel. Adam bites it just feet away from Alex and the moment he hit the ground you'd have thought the baby had hit some hidden nitrous switch he kept under the handlebars. Like lightning he takes off ramming into Adam before he can get up. Adam goes down, but Alex isn't through he backs up just enough and takes off again. Down goes Adam with a cry for help. Mandy and I see what's going on and take off, but before we can come to the rescue Alex runs him over one more time. All the while little man is cackling like Hans Grubber from Die Hard!
- "Not a commercial Daddy! I don't like commercials!" "Sorry, but not everything we watch is TiVo'd"
- "This meal is delicious! These are my favorite!"
Everything now seems to have a musical quality to it and follow a verse of some sort.
- I like tacos tacos tacos. I like tacos tacos tacos. I want some tacos pleaseeeeee
- I want to watch Wall-E in my roooom in my roooom. I want to watch Wall-E in my rooom
- I need to PeePee PeePee PeePee. I need to PeePee please take me right now. Gotta go to the bathroom and PeePee PeePee PeePee
Oh and every time we are in public he starts singing Happy Birthday to some random person. He's so convincing that people actually believe it's that persons birthday.
- "Happy Birthday Mommy! Happy Birthday Mommy! Happy Birthday to you!"
Too bad I can't seem to get him to do that last one whenever we are at a resturant. I love free birthday cake.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I'm sitting there getting my usual cut which is basically a half inch higher than a full on buzz and suddenly the phone rings. Dude picks it up, gives the other person a couple Yeah Yeahs, and says to everyone in the room that his mom is coming over to show him off to family that is in town. Turns out Dude comes from a long line of barbers. His mom's a barber. Grandfather's a barber. Uncle's a barber. The whole family cuts hair.
So I'm sitting there getting my cut and the family walks in. They start talking shop. This that & the other. They start talking about regular clients when dude says "I get some that come in every week. Others come by every couple weeks." I'm feeling included so I pipe in "Or guys like me that come by every 4 months". I didn't take it that way at the time, but the next thing he says has stuck with me "And then I get this guy that thinks he comes in every 4 months but it's really every 2."
Now I don't mind getting the business because I sure dish out my share in the course of a day, but I think he tricked me. He says he's done, I look in the mirror, looks short enough so I pay and leave. I think he set me up so I would have to come back in 2 months. Yes I looked at it in the mirror, but I remember water being involved. I think he wet my hair to make it look short so I'd have no choice but to come back sooner.
Why? I have no idea; maybe I he thinks I tried to show him up in front of the family. I got it figured out though. I'm still going to wait 4 months and just let it grow out till I can't stand it anymore.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
It's only been a few months since I lifted my boycott of your establishment because of the whole "lower grade meat than what is found in dog food" episode that I can safely say we have both chosen to forget and once again we find ourselves at yet another spork in the road. Before I go into my latest source of contention, I must first compliment you on your new food item the Dorito Taco. I love Doritos. I love tacos. It only makes since that I would love a taco wrapped in a Dorito shell. It was an inspiration to my pallet. Truly your chefs are men among men in the field of drive thru Mexican food.
Sadly as much as I enjoyed the latest culinary delight, I must take issue with your chosen method of delivery aka the tweaked out meth-head who I found eagerly awaiting my check card at the window. Now I understand things are tough all over and I know it's tough to find good help, that's why I never have a problem pulling up to find a very pregnant 17 yr old, an elderly woman without teeth, or a shall we say a less than smart Mexican American who thinks he is actually selling authentic Mexican cuisine. That being said you can imagine my shock when I rolled down the window of my swagger wagon to find a crackhead grinning from ear to ear stretching out his pencil thin tattoo covered appendage salivating at the sight of my check card. Quite honestly I might have been able to get over his appearance had he not started to do some sort of convulsive jig as he swiped my card through the machine all the while most assuredly memorizing my card number. If not for the promise of the above mentioned Dorito taco laying in wait only feet from my grasp, I would have pulled away instantly.
So you see Taco Bell, as much as I do love you....I can only say that more thought will need to be put into whether or not I will be returning in the near future. Surely such an individual as I came across today cannot hold down a job longer than a few weeks so for now please understand my temporary absence. Then again I did notice an ATM across the street so just forget I ever brought this up and I'll start using cash.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I mean I know how to ride a bicycle the same way I know how to put together a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, but it's one thing to jump in and do it and another to explain to someone how it's done. Riding a bike is like parenting; you just accept the fact that this is who you are now. A diaper changing, vomit in the palm of your hand catching, forever a giver of piggy back providing parent. You just wake up one morning and start doing it. Scared to death yet knowing that with a little patience everything will fall in place.
He fell a couple of times. He got back up, it hurt, his eyes red and cheeks stained with tears. Wiping his shorts off he nodded his head to indicate he understood what needed to be done next and jumped right back on. Still learning. Still trying to do better. He will get this. He'll get better. A little practice and soon today's mistakes will be behind him......yep just like being a parent.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Is it weird I am somewhat jealous? I mean kid has got it made and doesn't even know it. DVR, iPhone games, a new super hero movie out every other week, playing every sport known to man, tons of brains, everyone likes him, a Wii, great in school. Kid has it made and I hope he knows how much his Mommy and Daddy love him.
Monday, March 19, 2012
My new suit keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer.
It's quite small at the moment ...but it's getting bigger everyday.
I spent months worrying about this new suit. Can I afford it? Will I be able to keep it in good shape? Will it be the kind of suit your proud to wear and show off to your freinds?
The second I decided to buy a suit,I began day dreaming of what it would look like. Would it be the kind of suit that would make people ask "Hey. Is that your suit over there in the corner? I thought so. It looks like you"
Lucy took her time getting it. We had to make room in the closet. Had to make sure we had everything we needed to keep it clean and smelling good. Can you believe she took time off of work just to get my new suit? I guess thats why if you look from just the right angle..you can see her in my new suit.
My new suit keeps me up at night and puts me to sleep during the day.
I'm fearless and scared to death when I'm around my new suit.
The second I put my new suit on I forgot all about TV,movies, food, work,hurt feelings and old grudges.
My new suit is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and will ever own.
Lucy bought my new suit on March 20, 2006.
I named my new suit Baby Fred (Adam) and it covers me like nothing ever has before.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
We know that regardless of what the doctors say, a child will decide he is ready to be potty trained at 1 & 1/2. Thanks to Adam we know that when your child says someone bit him or her on the finger, you must ask if that finger was attempting to steal a cheeto from the other child's mouth. Adam taught us that it's always best to keep a small garbage can in your child's room for trash and more importantly for those sudden stomach viruses that pop up in the middle of the night.
This weekend and I guess if I try hard enough to consider it probably most weekends, Adam taught us that despite all of the yelling, shouting, crying, questioning, complaining, hitting, stomping, fighting, vomiting, and chaos that a child puts you through; they are always paying attention and will most certainly surprise you by their actions when you least expect it. Tonight Adam and I went solo to church, because Alex wasn't feeling well. Mandy received a call moments after Adam left class, asking how little brother was doing. Turns out Adam asked his class to pray for his baby brother who was sick at home with Mommy. I wonder what Adam will teach us next.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Last weekend we were at Applebee's when of course Adam had to take the browns to the Superbowl. As I was standing there waiting for him to get done (Adam takes forever and likes to try to carry on a conversation while doing the business), I found myself singing along to the music being pumped in over the P.A. Next thing I know Adam is singing along too and a full on concert is taking place. About five minutes goes by when I ask Adam if he is done, "Sure Dad, but the music in here is so good I thought I'd see what's playing next."
Friday, March 16, 2012
I'm standing there holding Alex in one hand who is desperate to play, the baseball equipment in the other, trying to calm Adam down, and all the while wondering what on earth has happened. Praying I didn't get things wrong, doubting what I know I heard. That practice was cancelled and since we were new to the team we just didn't get the call. Instead of admitting to Adam that honestly I had no idea what had gone wrong, feeling like a failure yet again this week, I simply told him that because of the storms on the horizon practice had been canceled. "HOW ABOUT WE PLAY AT MCDONALDS!!" It was a small consolation, but Adam had been worried about the storms anyway so he didn't fight much.
I called and called and called. Mandy sent Facebook msg after msg and finally we got the scoop this afternoon. Apparently the coach of the team had some personal issues that at least in his mind made it acceptable to abandon his new team and the league was left with no choice but to find new homes for 10 kids. We got to pick which team we wanted. Looking for some stability we asked to be put on his best friend Max Davis's team which oddly enough were also called the Giants. So on Monday we will start our third team in a week and Adam will finally be able to play ball.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I'm not gonna do anything drastic. Not going to forget who I am and where I've been. I'm just beaten down and need to sit a round or two out. I need to learn to let God take this from me and not make a move that could put my family in a worse situation than we are already in. He's there giving me glimpses of his greatness.....my car will only cost me $30 to fix thanks to a dear friend at church.....Mandy passed a major test tonight with flying colors.....the backdoor is open, fan is on, and the lightning storm outside is amazing.....tomorrow I will be stronger....I will learn from today......I will do the best I can.
Lately it feels that I just can't get a straight foward down the middle of the plate pitch. That with every passing day there is a new challenge that leaves me on shakey ground. I think I understand the story of the man that built his house on the sand. Frankly at times I feel like I am that man.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Torn we left the decision up to him...actually that's not what happened. What really happened was we decided to let him be the star of the San Fran Giants never knowing he what may have been had that pesky paperwork not have gotten mixed up. Then at the last minute as we were leaving the ballpark and I saw his other friends at Machine Pitch getting ready to face new challenges, learn new techniques, learning just how good they can be if given the chance...I blurted out his choices. T-Ball or Machine. This caught Mandy completely off guard something I am still paying the price for, but begrudgingly she agreed....if we never give him the chance to be something more all we are doing is setting him up for a life of always playing it safe.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Like millions of other toddlers Elmo is Alex's absolute favorite and retailers definitely know it. Today we saw Elmo band aides, Elmo sheets, Elmo shirts, Elmo shoes, Elmo video's, Elmo soap, Elmo bubbles, Elmo lamps, Elmo pillows, Elmo backpacks, Elmo socks, Elmo towns, Elmo action figures, Elmo jump ropes, Elmo tents, Elmo bikes, Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo....I say his name a thousand times because that's how many times it came out Alex's mouth.
Sadly you can't have the entire Elmo everything...or at least it can't be bought all during the same shopping trip. So we started to say no to Elmo. Then Alex starting throwing down and like Elmer Fud luring Bugs Bunny with a carrot on a string we slowly lured Alex out of the store. The Elmo video stopped him crying for 3 isles till he saw the Elmo coloring book which bought us 6 isles till he saw the Elmo bubble bath which almost got us to the cereal where he saw the Elmo table mats which got us to the registers where we distracted him by telling him there was an Elmo movie in the car and he was about to get to go watch it.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Most Saturday's start the same with Mandy and I having a group meeting to discuss all that we must get done. Gutters need cleaning, car needs an oil change, birthday party @ 10:00, would like to grill out tonight, grill needs cleaning, need to put away rest of boxes, take boxes from old house to storage, go get that fridge we were promised, change the church sign, play ball with the boys, fix the fence, hang a flag, buy the boys birthday presents, plan birthday party....literally that was our list for this weekend.
What got done today? The gutters got halfway cleaned. The grill got cleaned. Most of the boxes got put away. So that's 2 things that got halfway done and one that got all the way completed. That leaves 11 things to do between church services tomorrow.
Oh and JOY TO THE WORLD we lose an hour tonight!!! The boys don't understand why they gotta got to bed earlier tonight which they won't and why they will have to wake up earlier which we will all pay for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I think I'm throwing the list out the window!
Friday, March 09, 2012
I walked around for two months having my arm go completely numb within a minute of sitting down. I called it a pinched nerve and just kept my arm moving. Now it's gone.
My big toe on my right foot got really puffy and very painful. I limped around for a few days, went looking for a cane to help me walk, and found that 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen does a body good. Came back last week so I tried drinking orange juice and it was gone the next day. I'm calling it gout.
I get poison ivy at least once a year. Every go around I wait until I absolutely positively cannot stand it then I go to the Dr. It's like a test to see if I have any self control and every year I fail miserably.
If ever I get a stomach virus or something contagious, I just wait till Mandy gets it and then I cypher offer her meds.
Heaven forbid I were to break anything I wouldn't know it until it started growing back at a 90 degree angle.
It's hard to believe that tomorrow is our last day as a family of three. In some ways it's kinda sad. Not because I'd don't want Alex to come, but because the dynamic is changing and I don't want Adam to feel like he's going to get lost in the mix. I love both my boys like crazy and I look forward to all the days ahead, but at the same time similar to what I went through before Adam came bringing with him an end to our days as simply a married couple change is a very scary thing.
I remember all the worry that Adam brought with him. The endless waking up to make sure he's just sleeping soundly and not something else. Then worrying when he does wake up crying. Trying like crazy to keep him healthy, but also making sure he's not being so guarded that he's not being able to experience life. What does this cry mean? Why is he doing that? Should I really be letting that person hold him? It all starts again this Friday....and even after all the worry and woe....I'm so excited I can't see straight.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
As I said for those with a vivid imagination the ways to end the misery brought on by these flying pests could very well be infinite. Today it seems that Fred may have found his own unique way of taking care of the common house fly. All it requires is a full bladder and the ability to hula. Of course it helps to have a momma as nice as the one he has to come behind and wipe up all the pee off the walls, floor, and ceiling, but it's been several hours now and the fly is yet to make a repeat appearance.
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
If you haven't got your fix tonight check out my pals Weird Girl and Father Of Five!
Monday, March 05, 2012
Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I love sesame seeds. I wish they were on all my breads. Some people eat the cheese off their paper once the burger is gone. Me I lick my finger and get all the sesame seeds off.
# I miss my FRIENDS. I've started watching them every night before bed and it makes me sleep better. Like hanging out with my buddies sharing old stories.
# I think every word that follows the word every should be a compound word. Everyword, everynight, everytime.
# I have a Coke problem. Adam is at that age where he's like a blood hound constantly searching for change. Pennies, Nickles, Quarters, Chuckie Cheese tokens, he doesn't care. Like I said though I have a Coke problem and I need those quarters to get my daily fix. It's gotten so bad that last week I heard of companies that clean their rusted bolts by dipping them in cola and all I could think about was how great it would be to have a Coke while I had to sit there listening to what should be a eye opening story.
# I don't miss having a cat, but I do like living with somebody else's dog. The Gigi has a little puppy name Triscuit. I get all the emotional attachment without the responsibility. I bet that must be what being a grandparent feels like.
# Sometimes I just need to watch a movie where people get the crap beat out of them for an hour & a half. I've seen Rumble In The Bronx at least 50 times. It was on again tonight and after finding out that Adam turned on the shower full blast, left it running for half an hour and wasted all the hot yet never actually stepped foot in the tub, 30 minutes of Jackie Chan beating the stew out of scumbags made life tolerable again.
Sunday, March 04, 2012
It's hard when you are first learning the English language. It's I before E except after C, but what about the word freight? Bad can be cool or not good, cool can be almost cold or smooth, there's weather or whether, you get the idea. When it comes to kids sometimes things can be taken way out of context. Take today for example: Alex is showing off at the dinner table and getting all of the attention. Adam is desperately trying to turn the spot light on him, but without any luck. Finally he becomes so obnoxious that we can't take it anymore so Mandy says "Stop it Adam! You're not special!" Now what Mandy was saying is that Adam is not mentally challenged that he is smarter than he was acting at the time, but what Adam heard was that he was not unique not cared for not wanted. The poor kid immediately starts crying and takes off. The Gigi and I don't know if we should laugh or cry. It was hilarious and sad all at the same time.
Is keeping a band aide over his stitches for the next few days. We change it out at bath-time while it's wet. Last night I said "Okay buddy I need to pull off your boo boo" Alex got the most shocked look on his face and put both hands over his crotch. It was then I realized he must have thought I said "Okay buddy I need to pull off your doodle!"
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Both the old and the new have chore lists that are a mile long, but there's simply not enough time to do it all on the weekend. I'd say we still got a few car loads at the other house. Still though we are tired of walking around boxes at the new and are really feeling the need to settle down.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex is doing a lot better. The stitches seem to be good and he let us change the band aid this afternoon without any trouble. In five days they will have to be removed. That may be a nightmare.
Friday, March 02, 2012
They were hanging pictures and Alex tried to help. Although it only fell a foot...maybe a foot and a half, it caught him in the left eyebrow. It was deep and it was bleeding badly. We ran into the waiting room, took one look around and saw the despair in every one's eyes that could only mean we were in for a huge wait.
Four hours later we walked out with 4 stitches and zero patience. The whole thing was a nightmare. First he was quiet and that made us nervous. Then he got hyper and that got us nervous. Then we got surrounded by inbred hillbillies and that got us nervous. We asked for juice four times, it never came. At one point they shoved a huge machine into our teeny tiny room and said they were ready to X-Ray his finger. "Why his finger?" I asked. "Because this piece of paper says that's what we should do." "That paper is wrong, he's got a cut on his head." Now with attitude the nurse came back "I see he has a cut, the paper says to X-Ray his finger." " Ma,am it's time for you and that piece of paper to leave this room." Mandy chimed in "The guy next door has the cut finger."
Finally we made it home, but it will be months before the events will cease haunting me. The fears that flooded my soul as I drove into some unknown future will take weeks to silence themselves. Thank God he is okay.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Okay so Adam is watching this story of a girl viking that goes up against a giant bear with nothing but a bow & arrow and says "That's not real. That could never happen."
"What do you mean that could never happen?"
"Dad! Girls don't know how to work bows & arrows!!"
"Anybody can learn how to do something."
"Not girls. Only boys can go hunting"
"Adam that's not true. Girls can do things."
"Not bows & arrows Dad. Everybody knows girls can't do bows & arrows"
"Um first of all this is a cartoon soooo it's not real. Second girls can do whatever guys can do."
"Well her mommy would let her be out there hunting bears anyway"
He's 5 and he's already a chauvinist pig. Where did we go wrong?