Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Taco Bell

Dear Taco Bell,

It's only been a few months since I lifted my boycott of your establishment because of the whole "lower grade meat than what is found in dog food" episode that I can safely say we have both chosen to forget and once again we find ourselves at yet another spork in the road. Before I go into my latest source of contention, I must first compliment you on your new food item the Dorito Taco. I love Doritos. I love tacos. It only makes since that I would love a taco wrapped in a Dorito shell. It was an inspiration to my pallet. Truly your chefs are men among men in the field of drive thru Mexican food.

Sadly as much as I enjoyed the latest culinary delight, I must take issue with your chosen method of delivery aka the tweaked out meth-head who I found eagerly awaiting my check card at the window. Now I understand things are tough all over and I know it's tough to find good help, that's why I never have a problem pulling up to find a very pregnant 17 yr old, an elderly woman without teeth, or a shall we say a less than smart Mexican American who thinks he is actually selling authentic Mexican cuisine. That being said you can imagine my shock when I rolled down the window of my swagger wagon to find a crackhead grinning from ear to ear stretching out his pencil thin tattoo covered appendage salivating at the sight of my check card. Quite honestly I might have been able to get over his appearance had he not started to do some sort of convulsive jig as he swiped my card through the machine all the while most assuredly memorizing my card number. If not for the promise of the above mentioned Dorito taco laying in wait only feet from my grasp, I would have pulled away instantly.

So you see Taco Bell, as much as I do love you....I can only say that more thought will need to be put into whether or not I will be returning in the near future. Surely such an individual as I came across today cannot hold down a job longer than a few weeks so for now please understand my temporary absence. Then again I did notice an ATM across the street so just forget I ever brought this up and I'll start using cash.

Charlie Blockhead

1 comment:

The Father of Five said...

Uh oh...

Was your account compromised?