I debate posts like the one yesterday before, during, and forever after I hit the publish button. Should I have admitted that life is less than great right now? Should I just post funny after funny never touching on the real issues that I am facing? If I did I would be defeating the purpose of this blog and that's to give my kids an exact without a doubt idea of who their father was when they were growing up. That means admitting that there are times when I am simply spent. I've given my last effort. Stood my ground for the last time. Pinned my hopes on tomorrow only to be slapped in the face once again. I'm in a corner and all I can do is pray.
I'm not gonna do anything drastic. Not going to forget who I am and where I've been. I'm just beaten down and need to sit a round or two out. I need to learn to let God take this from me and not make a move that could put my family in a worse situation than we are already in. He's there giving me glimpses of his greatness.....my car will only cost me $30 to fix thanks to a dear friend at church.....Mandy passed a major test tonight with flying colors.....the backdoor is open, fan is on, and the lightning storm outside is amazing.....tomorrow I will be stronger....I will learn from today......I will do the best I can.