Would You Like To Talk To My PR Mgr?

If you know me then you know that I don't have that filter that is in most people's brain which stops them from saying what some might consider inappropriate things. Not to say that a majority of it isn't the brutally honest truth, but still inappropriate just the same. I try hard to suppress this urge that some may say is a form of rude turrets, but at times it's several hours or even days before I even realize I may not should have said "I'm too tired to pretend to remember some address you think I will need someday although I highly doubt. If it's that important to you, can you just text it to me?"

Being aware of my lack of filter as I am though it's helps to have a PR Department that gets in front of any potential scandal and eases the situation before it explodes in my face. That's one reason I love Mandy so much because essentially she's that PR Mgr that puts a good face on what can be a very ugly pig sometimes. I depend on her so much that there are times when I ask the person I'm speaking to if they would like to talk to her. This odd request typically gets me a look of confusion, which I can see right away, and thus makes my uncomfortablity that much more obvious. Silence is my worst enemy. If I'm talking to somebody and getting zero feedback, you can bet I'm about to say something stupid in five seconds. "Sooooo hmmmm yeah I've been working around the house all day....I think ummm Mandy's around ahhhh somewhere if you want to talk to her." "No. Do I need to talk to her?" "No no no....uhhhh I just was say'n ummm anyway"

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex used the potty for the first time tonight!! He walked around the house looking for GiGi, found her, and lead her to his seat!!

Moved To Tears

My fingers are killing me. My knuckles are scrapped up. I've got cuts all up and down my arms and back of my hands. It's literally hurting to type this. Feet are killing me. Goutie toe may be back....back hurts too. I took yesterday off and moved all day. We moved all day today...still got at least a couple loads left.

The Angry Man did maintenance for several apartment complexes in town. He would always come home with cool stuff people left behind. I remember wondering why people would just pack up and never come back for the rest of their stuff. Today I understand because I'm about to say forget it. It's no longer worth it. I don't need the stuff that bad. I'll buy more stuff to replace it.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# If you were driving down Avalon avenue today and saw some guy in a trailer holding on to a basketball goal for dear life as it literally picked him up and sat him back down....that was me.

# If you were driving down Avalon avenue today and saw some guy in the back of a pickup truck with his pants struggling to stay around his waist mooning all those around.....that was me.

# If you were driving down Avalon avenue today and you saw that guy in the back of a pickup truck with his pants holding on for dear life and mooning everyone around and you saw that pickup truck stop suddenly thus sending him headed face first into the back of the cab with nothing to hold on to....unfortunately that was me also.

Best Of Blockhead: Confessions Of A Dropper Offer (December 7, 2007)

One thing about having a two year old or a kid at any age for that matter is that regardless of where you go or what you are doing you always have to bring along a portable toy chest. Now depending on your child and where you are taking it (or him/her whatever pronoun you prefer) you might be able to get away with something as simple as a couple cars in the bottom of the diaper bag or you may just have to bring a separate "bag 'o' toys".

This week I find myself facing a certain dilemma with Fred involving toys in the car. Being the dropper offer (Lucy the quicker picker upper) I'm in charge of getting him to school alive and making sure he at least pretends to wear a hood long enough for her to kiss him goodbye and close the door every morning. Now to get him out of the house and away from mommy without throwing a tantrum we bribe him. There's nothing wrong with it. We just shake a pair of sunglasses or a set of plastic keys in front of his face and it's all good.until it's time to do the actual dropping off.

This is when I'm faced with having to take the bribe that worked so well to calm him down five minutes before away from him so that I don't end up donating half his stuff to the daycare. Some days he understands, some days he thinks I a just being a jerk. In my defense I'm really nice about it. I don't just yank them away and scream "MINE MINE MINE!!" like he does when he takes my stuff away from me. As I said I try to be nice, but I'm literally taking candy from a baby. So that's why at least once a week Lucy gets an email at work along the lines of "He wouldn't let go of my cell phone..remember to ask for it when you pick him up."

Attack Of The Walking Fred!

The weather was perfect this afternoon so while Mandy was in class the Gigi and I took the boys on their first walk to Gatman Park. It's about a five-ten minute walk but it's all sidewalk all the way. The park has a ton of playground equipment and in the summer they have a splash pad that stays on till late afternoon. Can't wait to start flying kites!

Things are finally settling in around the house even though we still have a few truck loads to get from the old place. Last night I took Adam to potty at around midnight. I thought he was awake enough to get back in bed while I took my turn. I got to his bedroom seconds later to find him missing. I'm walking through the dark house, blind as a bat trying not to wake the entire house (namely Triscuit). Looking on the couch, loveseat, under the dinning room table...he had somehow made his way to Gigi's and had crawled into her bed. This morning she said he rolled over and with a puzzling look asked "How did I get in your bed Gigi?"

This morning Mandy found Alex cuddled up with the puppy. She went to pick him up to take him to school and both freaked out. The puppy started yapping and jumping. Alex was waving his arms. It's been all day and that dog still won't look her.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I love the smell of mulch. If I could I'd wear it like a cologne. People would see me coming and say "There's Old Man Hickory. He's the best smelling guy I know!"
# No woodpecker this morning. Maybe he's flown the coop

Best Of Blockhead: Fridge-O-lympics (August 1st 2007)

It’s amazing how much the inside your fridge evolves during the course of your life. Back in college I had a mini-fridge and all it could hold was 2 six packs of wine coolers and a bottle of Boones Farm (turned sideways). Once I moved out on my own I never seemed to have enough food to account for the regular sized appliance. However back then I could fit an entire pizza box in it thus saving myself from having to wrap the left over pieces in foil (I’ve never been able to figure out how to use plastic wrap) or heaven forbid Tupperware (just something else to eventually have to wash).

Getting married requires that food be in the house mainly due to the fact that women are not born with the ability to eat nothing but frozen burritos and week old pizza for months at a stretch. That and romans in a cup should never be the husband’s answer to the wife’s “Honey what are we having for dinner tonight?” So the wife comes in and the shelves get filled but not over-filled mind you, just a few things on here and there. Oh and the married man has condiments. Single man just eats everything plain unless he remembers to get extra packets of mustard/ketchup from McDonalds.

Once baby comes along getting something out of the refrigerator turns into an Olympic event.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WELCOME TO THE DAILY FRIDGE-O-LYMPICS!!!

‘TODAYS TASK? TRYING TO REMOVE THE GRAPE JELLY WITHOUT EMPTYING THE ENTIRE APPLIANCE!!!!!”

“THE CLOCK WILL START WHEN THE GAME CUTS TO A COMMMERCIAL ANNNNNNDDDD OPEN THAAAAT FRIDDDGGGGEEEEE!”

“Ok it’s never on the bottom shelf, so I’ll look top first.’

“No No that was too easy. Second from the bottom…..crap!”

“Second from top has got way too much on it. Wait!! I think I just saw the bottom of it from the top of the second shelf!!!”

“Alright!! Now I know where it’s at…the time is ticking though!!! My commercials almost over and my sandwich is still missing jelly…I may just have to settle for a PB instead of a PB&J”

“Let’s see…what if I take the juice container and slide it to the right, put last nights leftovers on the bottom, move the two gallons of milk (whole for him and 2% for us) where the food was, oops don’t wanna smush a grape (top shelf cause baby can reach them everywhere else), tea pitcher goes to the left, cake icing fits in the door (same reason as the grapes), and maybe just maybe I can reach back between the OJ carton and two liter of Coke, grab the top of the jelly, and go over the top of the drinks…..yes TETRIS!!!!!”

“THANKS FOR TUNING INTO TODAYS EPISODE OF FRIDGE-O-LYMPICS. THIS HAS BEEN YOUR HOST IMA-WIENER. CHECK BACK TOMORROW WHEN WE’LL ASK THE QUESTION…..WHERE’S THAT TINY BOTTLE OF TOBASCO SAUCE???!!!!”

Technorati tags: olympics, single life, married life, parenting, fatherhood

To Kill A Mocking Bird

Apparently we aren't the only ones who have decided to move into the new place. For the past three days a woodpecker has created quite a stir around the house. It happens at almost exactly 7:00 A.M every morning and creates a ripple effect. The bird lands on the chimney and goes to headbanging on the metal covering. This causes a sound similar to a jackhammer which echoes down the chimney causing the puppy to freak out. The puppy panics immediately and begins to run like wild to the front door. This wakes Alex up who hates to wake up so he starts crying. This of course wakes Mandy up. The Gigi jumps up to calmed the dog down. I run outside to shoo the bird and within 30 seconds the entire house is ready to start their day.

So Blockhead fans, any idea how to kill a bird that seems to be mocking us?

The Forget Me Not List

Adam keeps a running list of things we no longer and proclaims to miss them with all his heart on a weekly if not daily basis. With the new move taking place he's added something new to the list i.e. the old house. Below is what I believe to be the complete list:

The Red Couch: We got the red couch from a catalog return store about five or six years ago. It was supper comfortable but after years of eating, sleep, sitting, and stomping all over it; we had flat worn it out. At one point in it's run at our place the bottom broke out of it and had to be rigged using metal wire and a piece of plywood. We sat it at the end of the driveway one Saturday and it sold within hours.

The Orange Car: It was a Ford Edge that felt huge until Alex came along and very quickly it began to feel like a sardine can on wheels. Adam was the one that kept pushing us to sell it and was all for it until the day after it was gone. That was a year and a half ago and every time he gets in the van he mentions getting the Orange Car back.

The Old School: We pass the Hill every morning on the way to kindergarten and Alex is currently enrolled there. Every time we pass Adam sighs like an 85 year old man thinking about how pretty his young bride was the day he went off to the fight the Nazis.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I'm going to try and stay away from the Best Of's as much as possible but part of me loves reading those old stories that we would have forgotten if not for putting them on Charlie.

# "Mom can you come get Alex out of my room!! I can't handle him any more tonight"

# We pulled up to get a couple things from the old place last night and Alex started point and crying "No no no no no no no no no no no!!" For some moving on is easy I guess

The Invasion Begins!

Been away for a few days and I gotta say I've missed Charlie. The reason for the Best Of's is because we are moving and are stuck in this weird limbo world where half our stuff is at one house with the other half at the other. Thankfully somebody nearby didn't think to lock up their WiFi signal so I'm able hitch a free ride till I can get my own.

Moving is a horrible experience in general. George Carlin once said the only reason we invade other countries is so we can have more room to put all our extra stuff. It makes sense if you think about it. You start out in college with no stuff so you only need a one bedroom place. You get married and the stuff doubles so you get a nice cozy house. Then a baby comes along and there is a ton more stuff so you gotta upgrade again. It's easy to see how eventually you find yourself invading Canada simply because you can no longer find a place to put your socks. Canada's kinda like our attic. Mexico is our basement.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# The boys seem to be adjusting fine. We knocked out Adam's room first and Alex may never leave his grandmothers side again.

# Things have happened so fast not sure how to feel about all this change. I'm not one to really celebrate major shifts in the Space-Time Continuum, but I have experienced moments of sheer joy as I look around at all the new places to put my stuff!

Best Of Blockhead: I Promise Not To Cry (June 7th 2010)

Daddy do you have to work today?

Yes I do baby. I'm sorry.

But why?

Because we need money so we can do stuff. Please don't cry.

But I don't want you to go to work today Daddy.

I know, but you are going swimming at Nani's.

That will be fun.Okay Daddy. I promise not cry when you leave for work.

That's my good boy.

And when we go to Nani's I won't cry either.

Cause you're a big boy.

And when we leave Nani's house I won't cry for you then either.

Thank you. Give me a kiss and hug. I love you Adam (silently to myself I promise not to cry either).

Best Of Blockhead: Fred (Adam) Says Amen!

Contributed by Lucy:

If you know the real Charlie and Lucy ~ you know we are both loud, love to have fun and love to laugh. Why should our sweet little Fred be any different? I have a hilarious story that must be shared.

A few Wednesday nights ago we were at church. Fred was behaving on a moderately good level - UNTIL the closing prayer. Now he knows that after the closing prayer he gets to go to class, sing songs and be with his buddies. Obviously he was ready to go!

The poor guy leading the closing prayer didn't stand a chance. He had hardly gotten started when Fred says Amen. Now mind you, the prayer was not over. Awe how sweet he knows how to pray, right? Yeah sure until you hear the next AMEN! I quickly covered his mouth and listened to the chuckles coming from our friends surrounding us. He was proud - he got a laugh. Maybe that would quite him up - no chance then came a much louder AMEN! Good grief Charlie, help me out a little. AMEN screams our child. By this time he has totally lost it . . . "I SAID AMEN" screams my child. When he was totally exasperated he looks at me with a pitiful face and said "Mommy I say Amen" and laid his head on my shoulder. Poor sweet Fred ~ if it were only that easy, I'd Amen my way to the weekends.

Sorry Mr. Gary ~ that disruption was us!

I Feel Like Dirt

Things are difficult around the house to say the least. You can't clean anything because half the place is in boxes. The kids can't drag out. There's stuff every where. We are all very frazzled and unfortunately we are taking some of it out on each other.

It was Tuesday night and Mandy was at school. Alex was exhausted and needed to be put to bed, but I still had a few more things to do before I could just stop and hold him. Adam is trying to watch cartoons in our room when the crying starts. Alex has had enough and is letting everyone know it. I just need a few minutes so I'm trying my dead level best to put him off just few minutes. He's crying rather loudly, Adam can't hear, and starts yelling at him to be quiet. This is not allowed so I yell at Adam to stop yelling at Alex. I know it doesn't make sense but it happens. Adam does it again....and again.

Finally I've had enough so I yell at Adam "The reason he is crying is because he misses his Mommy!!" This was a completely dumb thing to say and immediately Adam starts crying because he feels guilty "I didn't know he missed his Mommy! I miss her too waaaaaaaaa!!!!!!"

I quickly back tracked and got them both calmed down but two days later and I'm still feeling like dirt about it. The season of change is taking it's toll.

















ul

Stark Waving Mad

I ran into an old friend Monday night who I hadn't seen in a while. Turns out that although I hadn't seen him, he on the other hand had seen me at least three times a week since last August. Apparently I have been passing him on the road on my way to drop Adam off at school with no clue that he had made multiple attempts to get my attention on more than one occasion. Luckily he didn't take my complete lack of recognition as a sign that he should take a hike and instead understood when I explained Adam's complete ignorance of time which leaves me scrabbling to make it to his school before the bell rings every single morning. I still felt guilty for the slight and decided to rectify it yesterday morning.

Adam and I get in the car and head out to school. It's raining one of those kinds of rains where you don't need your wipers but the window is still a bit wet so it's a little hard to see. Immediately the very first car I throw out a wave...but that may have been a women...so the next car gets a wave....but I think that was teenager with the same kind of hair.....about the fourth or fifth car that passes it hits me that I have no idea what kind of car this guy drives so I start analyzing everyone coming from the other direction, but just when I think it's not him something clicks and I end up waving. I'm basically waving at every car that passes us like Gomer Pyle flagging down customers at the local 7-11. The worst part is I have no idea if I even passed this guy so now it's like I get a case of turrets every morning between 7:30 & 7:40. It's like I'm on a parade float and I'm thanking the crowd as I make my way through the town square

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Still thinking about that bacon Mandy got me for Valentine's Day. Thinking about freezing the other pack, but I'm really torn about it.
# One of the reasons I write this blog is to share with the boys what we went through while they were growing up. That includes talking about historical moments in time. This week we lost one of the most beautiful voices every to grace this planet. Whitney Houston was an icon in which the world will never see another like.

How Do I Love Thee? (Special Guest Speaker Billy Joel!!)

As I write this the kids are moments from going to bed and Mandy is still at school. Today is Valentine's Day and it's a little different then previous years for a number of reasons. School being one of them of course, the other being this is our last Valentine's Day at our home of 10 years. I don't know how she does it going to class, working full time, packing boxes, and still finding time for the kids. Honestly there simply aren't words in my vocabulary to describe how wonderful I think she is or how much I am in love with her. Thankfully that's why God gave the world Billy Joel:

To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

Among other things the boys and I made Mandy Valentines Day Butterflies this year:

In return my bride blessed me with the gift of cracked black pepper bacon! I've already downed one pack and the other will be gone in days. Better than a bunch of chocolate any day if you ask me.

Best Of Blockhead: My Angel Valentine

It’s hard to mention everything that goes on in the period of a week. So many times I think “Oh that would make a great Charlie post” only to have the idea swallowed up by a dirty diaper, a child refusing to eat his green beans, a story about how the bus driver was a lady and she had a beard, or my boss calling me into his office. What get’s printed is often what just has to be printed for the sake of history and all those little thoughts never see the light of day.

Unfortunately the consequence of that is I don’t get to brag about my Valentine as much as I should. She literally sets the table for me every day. I’m not talking about food (although she did fix my plate at the church potluck yesterday which was really nice) I mean that when I think about my life she has literally put everything I could ever want in front of me. She somehow instinctively knows when I’m out of undershirts and has them washed before the last one is used. She understands how forgetful I am and that I need to be reminded of things a hundred times. She knows that I cannot color coordinate clothes to safe my life and makes sure Adam has an outfit ready every night so he doesn’t leave the house looking like a garbage pail kid.

My Valentine understands that sometimes I just need to gripe and complain. That saving money makes me happy and fruit juice in the fridge brings a smile to my face. She feels the same sadness that I do when more than 3 or 4 hours go by without a word from the other via email, text, or phone. She allows me the time to write a thousand hours ever week and doesn’t give me grief when I’ve got a deadline that causes me to have to come home early from church or a night out with friends.

I pray that I do enough to show her that I’m always trying to do my fair share and that the last thing I expect is for me to be just another person in this house she has to clean up after. That she knows I understand I am nothing without her and that I regret those times when I’ve looked around to discover I have taken her for granted. I hope that I do enough to make her life easier, but ultimately it’s her that brings everything together in my life and the lives of Adam & Alex.

This Valentine’s Day I hope my Valentine knows that I am nothing without her by my side.

I've got an angel
She doesn't wear any wings
She wears a heart that can melt my own
She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing

She gives me presents
With her presence alone
She gives me everything I could wish for
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

She can make angels
I've seen it with my own eyes
You gotta be careful when you've got good love
Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying

Trash Talking

I was out looking for boxes today and found a ton behind Austin Shoe's. The problem was that I had to climb into a dumpster to reach them. When Adam found out he was jealous he didn't get to jump in there with me. Truth be told it wasn't the first dipstie dumpster I'd ever dived in. Growing up we lived in an apartment complex surrounded by a ton of other families and as kids tend to do we had our share of adventures. We used to scrounge for cool stuff in the dumpster; old jewelry, hats, toys. One time every kid in the complex came down with a case of head lice. It was almost a week before someone figured out the source of the breakout was an old mattress we had found and been using as a WWF wrestling ring.

To this very day I don't like taking the trash out at night because of something that happened back then. The dumpster was located at a dead end at the end of the parking lot which couldn't have been more than half a football field away. At the age of twelve though it might as well been two miles away. It was dark...the kind of dark you only get from living out in the country. The street light was out and there I was hauling the trash all alone. Staring deep into the shadows watching for movement of any kind. Finally there I was scared to death of what might be lurking behind the cars or under the stares of the other buildings. The door was open so quickly I flung the bag of trash over my head and into the dumpster. Almost immediately I heard the clang of it hitting bottom and then it happened...out of nowhere a blur of claws and teeth launched out of the darkness of the empty dumpster. I closed my eyes as the cat landed on my head for a split second before taking the next leap and running of into the darkness. I almost passed out in fear. Had my feet not already been propelling me towards home no telling how long I would have laid there.

Now if given the choice I would rather set my alarm to wake me up early in hopes of catching the garbage man rather than walking out to the curb after sunset.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# The move is in full effect. We are hoping to get the majority done next week, but will more than likely not spend the night till the first weekend of March.
# The deadline for T-Ball sign up is the 24th. Hard to believe it's that time of year again.

These Are The Days....

Today was Adam's last basketball game and the entire family showed up in support. As I sat there on those metal bleachers watching the kids warm up I got caught myself watching everyone walk in.

Pops- He's been going through something lately but won't quite tell us what it is. He insists it's not health related, but we know he's smoking again and are worried about him. Last weekend he walked into our church services out of no where and sat down like he'd been going his entire life. In fact he told us later that the last time he'd been was Mother's Day 1998....it was her last year.

Brock & Brooke- I talk to Brock in spurts. Three times a week for a couple of weeks, then nothing for two months. Lately when we talk it feels like a game of twenty questions. So what kind of trouble have the boys been in lately? How are you dealing with that? What is it like trying to teach Adam stuff? What kind of foods do they eat? What are your mornings like? It's clear he's prepping himself for a time when he has to go through the same thing. The only real question is how soon will that be?

Mom- Her apartment is a nightmare. She lives under a married radio DJ who stomps around at all ours of the night (Adam always thinks it's storming at her place) and when they aren't fighting lets just say Mr & Mrs DJ are making their own music to the point that mom can't even sleep in her own room some nights. This weekend the plumbing from the apartment behind her got clogged causing everything to backup into her bathtub. The water has been cut off for two days and she's staying with a friend. She's recently started dating and I'm not going to share my opinion about it because it's really not going to matter one way or the other.

Molly- She's always been like a sister to both Mandy & I. Married, a house of her own...I still see her as that teenage girl who had the honor of meeting Josh Duhamel at a high school dance. That was ten years ago and to me she's still the same.

Mandy, Gigi, and I- Are all learning how to adapt to our new environment. Honestly this whole living together thing may not succeed, but it could be very awesome.

Together there watching Adam run up and down the court while we cheered for both teams and passed Alex from arm to arm, I couldn't help but think about what we have all been through over the past few years.....heart attacks, divorce, marriage, a couple kids....there's been heartache and pain and fear and at times I'm scared to death to even roll out of bed....but there we were clapping and laughing, just enjoying the moment and I hoping it will always be like it is now.

It's Friday Night!! Why Doesn't It Feel Like It?

Not much going on today. The good news is I'm able to walk again and didn't have to resort to using a cane. The bad news is there's little doubt that I have gout. Very painful, but it was gone just as quick as it came about.

This weekend we are going to try to make a major push into the new place even if the wind chill is going to be in the single digits in the morning. Oh and Adam has started coughing. He's boarder line asthmatic but over the years it has gotten a lot better. Still though tonight is a bad night. He's been coughing for two hours straight and the humidifier and cough medicine haven't helped at all. Going to be a restless night for Mandy and I as we get up and check on him every few hours. Plus more than likely he will wake up thinking he slept like a baby while we are barely able to open our eyes.

I posted a pic of Adam last night so here is one of Alex:

Closet Napping

Adam fell asleep in the closet tonight with the door almost all the way closed. Some suggest he was in the middle of turning into a superhero, but I think he was mad at me because he didn't get his way all night. He almost gave his mother a heart attack when she came in and couldn't find him for five minutes. Last week I found him asleep in the floor. Yesterday he was curled up at the end of his bed. I don't know if I should be worried that maybe there's something going on that we don't know about or just be worried that he's turning out to be as weird as his father.....

Best Of Blockhead: We Got the Beat. We-Got-The-Beat!!! YEAH!!!

With all the moving taking place and the new found fact that I have gout, I've decided to amend my resolution to post everyday this year. On occasions such as today I thought it would be a good idea to repost some of my favorites from the past. Tonight's comes from Sept 12 2006. A time when I was still going as Charlie, Mandy was Lucy, and Adam was Fred (Chief Redface). Enjoy!!

So it was about a 6-hour drive back from the beach and Fred was amazing.He slept, he played, he ate, he drank, he laughed…but he did not cry.That’s right!!! 450 miles, 2 stops, and no tears. Un-freak’n-believable.We got 15 miles from home and just knew we had it made. Nothing could stop us now!!!But maybe someone could.A full days worth of tears combined with the pain of being strapped into a car seat all day forged a tantrum we are seldom witness to. Chief Redface had returned.So what do you do? You’ve been away from home for four days. You’re tired, irritable, the legs need stretching, you gotta go to the bathroom…but that sign says Muscle Shoals 15 miles. Normally that’s an easy answer. You man-up and push forward, ignore the pain, pee in a bottle, and get home!! Babies don’t know how to man-up. They just throw tantrums.Redface almost got us this time.

We were in the car and far away from our tried and true happy baby tools. We were at our weakest moment, all was thought lost. Lucy was begging me to pull over even though we were only 10 minutes from home…when a flash of brilliance crossed my mind. In an instant I saw Baby Fred bouncing at home in his exersaucer, he’s been there too long and is starting to cry just a little. There is a Barney video playing in the background and out of desperation, I began to clap to the beat. Baby Fred calmed down.Over the noise of the road/crying/Rascal Flats, I scream “CLAPPPPPPP!!! CLAP WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!!!”Lucy, who at this point would have probably made armpit farts if it would have worked, starts banging her hands together with all her might. It worked at first, but it just wasn’t enough. In a show of expert driving ability, at 65mph I adjusted myself so my left knee could steer and began clapping/singing “WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU! ROCK YOU!!!” “WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU! ROCK YOU!!!”And the crying ceased. We stopped clapping and the crying started again. We were now forced to play Redface’s wicked game.

As we drove the final few miles home, we felt the stares from the people in the other cars as they drove by the maniacs clapping as if their lives depended on it. I can almost hear them say “Hey that guy is driving with his knee!!!! Drive past!!! Drive past!!!” We were bruised, battered, and our hands hurt for the next three days, but we made it home and that’s all that counts.Until we meet again Mr. Redface...until we meet again.

No Gout About It

What started out as a pain on the bottom of my foot right under my big toe, now seems to be gout. It's not as gross as it seems however it is extremely painful. Just for those that don't know what this is here's a brief description. The items in red are all symptoms I'm currently experiencing:

What is gout?
Gout is a kind of arthritis. It can cause an attack of sudden burning pain, stiffness, and swelling in a joint, usually a big toe. These attacks can happen over and over unless gout is treated. Over time, they can harm your joints, tendons, and other tissues. Gout is most common in men.
What causes gout?
Gout is caused by too much uric acid in the blood. Most of the time, having too much uric acid is not harmful. Many people with high levels in their blood never get gout. But when uric acid levels in the blood are too high, the uric acid may form hard crystals in your joints.
Your chances of getting gout are higher if you are overweight, drink too much alcohol, or eat too much meat and fish that are high in chemicals called purines. Some medicines, such as water pills (diuretics), can also bring on gout.
What are the symptoms?
The most common sign of gout is a nighttime attack of swelling, tenderness, redness, and sharp pain in your big toe . You can also get gout attacks in your foot, ankle, or knees. The attacks can last a few days or many weeks before the pain goes away. Another attack may not happen for months or years.

Last year at almost this exact same time I had something similar happen that was also my right foot. The over compensation on the other muscles in my left leg as I tried to limp a long caused me some major issues for several months.

Of course this only make the big move happening in three weeks that much more complicated.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# The house across the street put up a for sale sign today. They have lived there for over 50 years. It feels like the whole world is moving on.
# No I haven't been to the Dr. but that's because I do have some prescription strength Ibuprofen that here that is recommended to reduce the pain and swelling...we will see.
# I wonder how odd it would be if I started walking with a cane for a few days.

They Paved Paradise And Put Up A Parking Lot

The new place will feature an apartment for Gigi so I thought we'd talk a little bit about that tonight. Now of course I can't attest to this from personal experience, but I can say that it seems from my perspective that the best part of being a grandparent is probably the ability to leave the chaos behind and go back to your quiet little slice of heaven just before things get out of control. Now although Gigi will have her own space large enough for a couch, bed, full bathroom, etc....I do worry that she's hasn't fully considered what she is trading her quiet single occupancy life for.

Let's take tonight for example: Dinner is just about done and Adam has decided to walk around with his sandwich instead of sitting at the table. Alex is shouting HEY MAN! at the top of his lungs every few seconds which is something we had been practicing at Wal-Mart for 30 minutes but he refused to repeat. Suddenly a High-Five contest breaks out, Mommy included. The problem with 5 year olds of course is that they don't know when to quit. In seconds the High-Fives turn into jack slaps followed by cries of pain, screams of fright, and of course there is the HEY MAN!! going on in the background. Next Mandy steps outside to take out the trash and apparently Alex begins making more. I take Alex, Mandy goes her way, and Adam is left at the table by himself. Alex was wearing a diaper but little did we know he had a wedgie which caused things to exit stage left. At the moment I'm realizing this, Adam screams that something is in Alex's highchair. I pull the baby's pants off, poop is smeared from his waist to his big toe, and now I'm screaming. Adam runs down the hall to help by bringing a plastic bag, takes two steps into the room, the smell hits him head on, he throws the plastic bag in the air, it lands no where near where I'm at, and takes off running through the house screaming YUCK GROSS YUCK! I've got the baby on the diaper table with one foot in the air trying to keep his hands off his bits and pieces which are covered in sludge, he starts crying, Mandy comes, grabs, the bag, and without realizing what she has done grabs Alex's leg thus covering her hand with what must have been Alex's lunch at some point.

By now I'm looking for an exit strategy so I immediately grab the diaper and pronounce it must be taken to the garbage that Mandy just conveniently rolled all the way to the curb for the next morning's pickup. I'm walking out the front door and I hear her shout there's no way he's coming clean with wipes, so she gets Adam to turn on the bathtub water. Alex goes in the tub, gets a five minute scrubbing, and Adam who has been running around the house naked waiting for Alex to finish, immediately jumps into the bathtub...slipping of course on all the soap left behind from Alex's bath moments before. The house shakes from the force of the fall. I take off in the direction of the bathroom to find Adam laying on his back, the shower water hitting him in the face, Alex is across the hall and getting his pajamas put on by Mandy, he spins around to the sound of the crash thus launching himself off the changing table and is barely saved by Mandy who managed a quick grab for his leg, now both boys are crying.....meanwhile Gigi is at home in beautiful peace and quiet living the life I only dream of.

The Truth Is Out There

For the past month my family and I have been going through something earth shattering. Something life changing. Something that caused us to do some major soul searching. Up until last night only a couple close family members (Gigi & Nani) were aware of what we were going through. The past four weeks have been some of the hardest in our lives and it has brought us much closer to God then we ever knew we could be. I must say that this challenge was also complicated by the passing of Buttons our beloved pet and Mandy going to real estate school. Now finally we are ready to share.

First though the We Are Nots:
*No we are not pregnant.
*No we are not sick.
*No we are not getting a divorce.

What we are doing is moving. After 10 years of living in a house that used to seem as big as the Taj Mahal, it is time to start the next chapter in our lives. Pops has been more than gracious over the years, first inviting us to live here in his childhood home for a small portion of rent which was more like a maintenance fee, and then always assuring us that we would never have to worry about someplace to live. It was during the first week of this month that we all looked around and realized maybe it was time to move on. To re-evaluate what we all wanted and what the future could be. Suddenly an opportunity arose that was simply too good to pass up.

There's no need to talk about the particulars of the deal, lets just say soon we will be applying for our first home buyers loan. The new home will have 4 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms, a very large yard, walk in closets, a laundry room that does not require you to step outside to access, and a kitchen that you can stand in the middle of and stretch out your arms as far as they can go without touching the opposite walls. Plus there will be a place for Gigi as long as she wants to stick around.

We are excited about this new place but of course we can't help but be sad a little as we prepare to leave our very first home. If it were not for Pops and the gift he as given us by letting us stay here over the years we would have missed out on so many great things the most important of which was all the precious time Mandy was able to spend with the boys due to being able to work part-time without worrying about a large house payment. We are so blessed.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Madonna played the Super Bowl tonight. I really can't stand her, but will say it wasn't half bad. I remember when she used to be considered a controversial entertainer. Now she might as well be Betty White up there singing show tunes.

# I keep seeing things made with crumbled bacon. Bacon never lasts long enough around me to have a chance be crumbled and put into something else.

Not Every Time Is Game Time!

Tonight I'm talking about video games. Growing up if we wanted to play a video game we'd have to go to the arcade at the mall or there was our Nintendo which only worked if you blew on the cartridges over and over. Now they our on our phones, computers, built into our cars, they are entire channels built into our TVs that feature nothing but games that can be played at any time. My problem is that's exactly what is happening...these kids are playing them all the time!

Now I'm point the finger at myself here a little bit too when I say PARENTS ENOUGH WITH THE VIDEO GAMES ALREADY!!! I don't care if they are bored or can't sit still or don't care what's going on around them it's Church!! Church is not a place for video games. I would rather my child lay down and take a nap then sit there biting his tongue while flinging his arms in the air as he tries to get Mario over the mushroom. Sporting event's are not places for video games!! Like it or not I cringe when the crowd is screaming, the band is blasting, the game is mere points from being tied, the place is going crazy, and Timmy is oblivious to it all because his brain has been kidnapped by Angry Birds.

Again I'm just as guilt myself of this at times so no offense to those that don't think this is a big deal, but my skin just crawls every time I'm trying to get Adam involved in something and all he's interested in are two things: Can he play games on my phone and why can't he play games on my phone.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I know I didn't talk about the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the room (it's gotten way to big to be called an elephant at this point), but I promise I will at least give everyone a hint tomorrow night if not confess the whole darn thing
# Mandy, Alex, and I had a belly slap concert tonight. He raised his shirt to slap his belly then would squeal at us until we did the same.

So Much To Say So Much To Say So Much To Say!

Not much to say tonight. This could be the big weekend in terms of the major changes that are coming. Might be ready to make a big announcement this time tomorrow night. Just depends on if the stars align correctly or not. Either way things will take another turn at work on Monday. Again I can't say much now, but will definitely be able to expand on that over the next few days. I'll try not to be so vague tomorrow night I promise.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Please have a seat nobody is pregnant.

Who You Talk'n Bout Mrs. Wallace?

Today was witness to our first Parent-Teacher conference. Apparently he is a good listener. He pays close attention in class and cares about the feelings of others. He is a quick learner who enjoys math. His test scores are good and is a genuine joy to be around...yep Mrs. Wallace has high hopes for little Allen Becker....unfortunately not so much for Adam Beck who's file she mistakenly got out of order. Just kidding

Honestly though I did have to ask to make sure she was reading from the same file because at home he never listens to a word we say, could care less what's going on around him as long we stop what we are doing whenever he bellows, and at times intentionally makes things difficult because he can. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my life, but he's everything a 5 yr-old should be and has perfected the art of driving his parents crazy.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex is coughing. It's only been a few days since he got over the Hand, Foot, and Mouth. I think it's tied to him moving up at the Hill and getting to play outside. Adam had allergies really bad and we are praying this is what's going on with little bro.

Chip Chat

We had taco salad tonight and it's because of that (and the fact that I have nothing else to talk about yet promised I'd blog everyday this year) that finds me rambling about chip & dip ratios. Now when talking chips such as ruffles and say french onion dip (which just happens to be in the fridge right now calling me to come eat) things can be somewhat confusing. Too much chip/not enough dip and you're left eating a plate of chips that used to be awesome but are now just Plain Jane's. Too much dip/not enough chip and your left with either going back for more chips which throws the ratio off even further or depending on what company you are keeping at the time, resorting to just using your finger to take care of the rest which is kinda disgusting but hey we all do it.

Taco salad or nachos are a little different though because unlike a plate which features say the left side full of chip and the right side full of dip, everything is piled on top of each other. Take tonight's dinner for example you have about three layers of chips covered in ground beef, tomatoes, melted cheese, lettuce, black olives, and topped with salsa. With all the toppings there's no way the two bottom layers of chips get any coverage so you stir it and then all the stuff on top is on the bottom not to mention half is on the floor because by this point you've piled the plate so high it was hard enough to get it all on there to start with. I like to treat it like a game of Jenga attempting to pull from the bottom without disturbing the top.

Clearly I've put way to much time into thinking this out and I could possibly have a weight problem.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# This may have been one of the weirdest posts I've ever written.

The Wide World Of Sports

Adam is ending his latest endeavor into the world of sports with the close of basketball season in the coming weeks. Soon it will be time to sign up for T-Ball thus coming full circle. I thought I'd share my thoughts on the 3 sports he's played this year.

T-Ball was my favorite though I didn't realize it at the time. The second game Adam started crying because he only wanted to bat and not play outfield, but that was the only bumped. He didn't care where you put him in the field as long as he got to play. I helped coach and really didn't mind. It was fun for both of us. Plus he got to play pitcher a couple of times.

Football immediately brings to mind collisions, contusions, and chaos. Not three things you want your 5 yr-old involved in. The great thing about football though was all the running. Offense, defense, it didn't matter as long as he could run up and down the field. It got cold a few of those nights, but Adam had a blast.

Basketball was going to be the sport we were going to be fantastic at. Adam hits nothing but net all day long at home. Come game time and the facts are basketball is an individual sport where it's acceptable to hold the ball for entire quarters at a stretch. It's not even the good kids that do it either. Some simply refuse to pass the ball.

Anyway like I said it's all almost over and soon we will be playing T-Ball again.

Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# I don't think I've ever met a female Kelly that was mean. Cathy's of course. Beth's more than likely. Kelly's are always cheerful though.

# Adam has been sleeping in the floor the last couple of nights. Tonight I thought he'd love to sleep in a tent...no dice, back in bed he went for some reason.

#Have you seen The Chew? It's a talk show made up of cooks all talking and making tons of recipes everyday @ 12. That's also the same time I take my lunch and I think it's the reason I'm eating everything in site for an hour.

I'm A Blockhead And I Know It!!

Not a lot going on tonight so I'm just going to skip around a bit.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex sorta realized Buttons wasn't around. I say sorta because he was playing with the door that hid the litter box and it hit him that he could push it all the way to the wall now. He stood there for like 5 minutes walking back and forth swinging the door trying to figure out what was different.

# A lot of people have asked about Adam's Acorn Bag (nut sack) so I figured I'd update what happened next.....which isn't much. Since that morning he wanted to bring them to school he really hasn't said much about them. Alex was walking around with a tin can the other day. There was something inside that was making noise but he couldn't get the lid off. He brought it to me to try and sure enough there was Adam's nut sack.

# Hand Foot & Mouth is now a 7 county epidemic in our area. We know 2-3 other people that have it that Alex has not come into contact with.

# Last but not least here is a link to a Sesame Street song parody that sent Alex going crazy tonight.

iDepressed

The kids spent the night with Gigi last night while Mandy and I tried to easy our sorrows in chocolate chip cookies and ice-cream. It was the first time we'd truly been alone and pet free in 14 years. I slept all afternoon. Not sure if that was because I was depressed over Button's passing or just tired of all the stress this new year has brought.

I've been listening to The Police and suddenly I have an urge to use my iTunes gift certificate. I'm bad about buying music when I'm depressed. I'm soaking my sorrows in ColdPlay and Death Cab. A week later I'm looking for something to help me clean house faster and it's all cry me a river songs on my iPod.

There are habits that will fade with time. Caught myself about to go fill his water bowl. Mandy went to put something over a basket of clean laundry and suddenly realized that no longer would there be a hairy cat sleeping on it the next morning. Adam asked if we would be getting a new one....it's too soon. Honestly I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to sign another 15 yr pet contract again.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Adam twice today showed that he is truly my son. The filter is just not there. Mandy asked "Did you miss me last night at Gigi's?" Without a thought "No mom. I didn't think about you at all." Gigi said 'Hi Adam. How's it going?" 'Buttons is dead. We are not getting another one."

# Alex starts his new class tomorrow morning with Mrs. Christina. She was Adam's teacher too and we love her! Knowing Alex though he's not going to just willingly accept change. Not because he hates things being different, but more so he hates not getting his way.

# I hate how the weather man strings you along the entire half hour just so you will watch the other mess in between. "So it will be hot tomorrow, but will there be rain by Tuesday? Stick around to find out." "Will Mother Nature be giving us a dusting of snow this weekend? I'll let you know after this 20 minute story on how the government is wasting your money."

Buttons Beck: The Great Main Coon Kitty

Today we put Buttons to rest. It was time. The Vet took one look at him and agreed that he had some major health issues. If Adam remembers him at all when he's older it will be that of a mean old cat that use to hiss and try to scratch him every time he walked into the room. Just last year he weighted 16 pounds. Today he was down to only 8. He scratched me down my arm one last time while I was getting him out of the carrier. I'm not upset. He was scared. It may sound weird but I'm fine with it not healing for awhile. I think I understand why people get tattoos. A few years back he put a 3 inch long scar on my chest. Suddenly I don't mind it so much.

He was 14 yrs old and for a long time there he was my very best friend. A house gets lonely when you're the only one in it. Mandy would be working late at the grocery store. It would just be me and my kittens Buttons & Sassy waiting for her to get home while watching late night TV. I buried him beside her under the pecan tree outside. I've already started telling the kids stories of the mighty Buttons that could jump higher than Adam is tall. He was the biggest cat in the land! He was a good listener.

Sure I'm sad, but mostly I feel old and depressed. 14 years is a very long time. It feels like I'm officially putting an end to my teenage ways, the trench coat of adulthood has finally covered me and at this particular moment it feels very heavy. Change is still in the air and it's going to be a long time before things start feeling normal again.

Talking To Myself Again

Alex is finally back on the mend. Special thanks to Nani and The Gigi for helping out this week. I've been spending more time with the boys lately what with Mandy in school and me taking two days off to be with Alex. One of the things I've discovered is that contrary to what I had previously thought, apparently I'm not talking out loud as much as I think I am.

See what I thought was that when I saw Adam still sitting in his bedroom floor playing with a toy after I've clearly told him to put his clothes on, that I said out loud "Get your clothes on right this minute or we are going to be late for school!" Five minutes later I walk back in though and he's in the same spot.

Alex walks over to the stereo and starts gazing at all the wonderful buttons. I could swear I hear myself say "Don't touch. Don't touch. Alex don't touch. DON'T TOUCH!". Yet clearly I must have been saying this in my mind because the stereo came on full blast.

What I hear is:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"No. We are going to eat dinner in an hour."
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"Not yet we are cooking tonight."
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"

What is actually being said out loud:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"

The past day or so, I've started turning to the nearest person and asking if noise actually came from my mouth.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I miss holding a paycheck in my hand. These days everything is direct deposit and I gotta say it really kills some of the thrill of working a 40 hour week. I remember getting a piece of paper on Fridays that told me I had money. That it all meant something. I would go the bank, cash it, and hit the town. Of course I'd also see how much the government was taking out and would be grumbling in minutes.

# Does anybody really take things off the record when they say something is off the record? Don't ever say that to me because if anything that makes me remember something more. "Off the record let me just say that I agree with you Bill. This whole mess is the sales reps fault" From then on out all I'm going to remember is that you are on my side. And I'm going to let others know about it "Off the record" of course.

# Drew Carey is the worst game show host ever! The Price Is Right used to be the reason to stay home and watch TV. Now it's just a great way to fall asleep fast in the middle of the day.

He Sure Plays A Mean Charades

It's been a rough week so far. Mandy and I both had to take a couple days off to care for Alex. Tomorrow my mom (Nani) is supposed to help cover. Today Mandy had school which meant I had Alex all day by myself and Adam from 2:30 on.

Part of Alex's path to wellness includes taking a bath saturated with Dial antibacterial soap twice a day. Alex is the best charades player in the world. He can only say a few words, but can somehow manage to get you to accomplish the most complex tasks with only a few grunts and a couple hand signs. On Tuesday he literally got me to get him a bowl, grab the box of Lucky Charms out of the top cabinet, and get him a glass of milk without saying one word.

Alex practices his talking in the bathtub. Maybe it's the acoustics in there. It sounds like gibberish at first, but if you really start to listen closely there's a pattern. Sometimes it's a song from church, sometimes it's Adam's name, tonight I think he was making fun of me. He kept shaking his head and going No No No No.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Your mind tends to wonder somewhere around the 3rd straight hour of Sesame Street and I came across a very interesting problem. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy come on at the same time on different channels. Now this isn't a problem for me because I can DVR them, however if my Grandfather were to run up against this problem you'd be able to hear him scream all the way from Linden, Al.

Another Post Bites The Dust

I remember some things from my childhood. Some of it is hidden deep in the recess of my brain. Making odd appearances when I least expect it. I remember riding in the car with my dad listening to Queen's Another One Bites The Dust. One birthday he sent me a cassette of the Huey Lewis and The News Sports album. I must have played it until the thing practically disintegrated. At some point in my twenties I bought the Cd.....I pulled it out last night for the first time in years. The boys have music in them. It's like music is the thing that keeps their blood flowing. The moment the beat kicked in on The Heart Of Rock N Roll they both ran into the room and started dancing.

No Chips Off The Ole Blockhead tonight. Too much bouncing around. Nothing wants to form a solid thought. This is my 25 post in 25 days.

The State Of The Union

Thanks to everyone who has gathered around the world tonight to read this evenings State of Our Union.

For starters I'd say things are going pretty good. Like every marriage we have our disagreements, but we've overcome many challenges in the past 10 years and come out on the other ended even stronger than before. My recent hair cut is reminiscent of when we first started dating so that's added a bit of a spark.

Mandy is now a full fledged student. Taking classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6-9:00. Adam is playing basketball on Tuesday nights so that means she leaves for work @ 8 in the morning and never crosses the threshold again until around 9:30 that night. Basically she's only home on Monday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Of course I'm stepping up like a proper spouse should. Cleaning house, giving the kids a bath, cooking dinner, giving medicine, being perplexed at how all of that only takes an hour and wondering how I'm going to survive the next 3 without her.

There's some big changes coming up and we've formed a committee to discuss how everything will go down. A few times a day we pass messages back and forth presenting ideas. Looking for wiggle room in hopes of finding common ground. We expect formal presentations to be made in the coming weeks.

We've done a great job lately working together to fight the War on Chaos. Recently we've made some very large headway with Adam although Alex seems to be building a stockpile of ammunition. The force is strong in that one.

We've had a few setbacks in terms of our current economic status, but we've adjusted our plans and it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not to say the recent depression is over mind you, but with a little luck the plans we've put in place will lead us to a prosperous 2013.

In closing I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has helped us stay strong. Without your support we would not be who we are today. I love you Mandy. Goodnight.

Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# Yes this on some level was a blantant attempt to attract more readers.
# I know I made a big deal about how I don't try to attract readers a few weeks back, but I'm now backing away from that statement slightly.

Love In The Time Of Sickness

If Mandy gets sick...like low down puking her guts out, running a fever of 102, death warmed over sick...I can go live on the couch for a few days give her some space and stay out of her way. If I get down just leave me alone, don't touch me, and I'll be fine soon enough. It doesn't quite work like that when talking kids and illness.

If one of the boys gets sick like Alex is now you can't just put them in a room and slip some bread and Gatorade under the door a few times a day. If they are puking, you gotta hold the bucket and hug them after. If they get a sour stomach, you gotta pinch your nose and pat their heads. In our case this week if they are highly contagious with a virus that has their entire face, arms, hands, legs, feet, and chubby cheeks covered in oozing splotches you just gotta grit your teeth and rock them to sleep like you do any other night.

Yes it means you will likely be carrying your own bucket a few days later, running to the bathroom with a sour stomach the rest of the week, or finding yourself scratching at what you pray is nothing, but if you look there in the fine print of the Mommy/Daddy contract it's right under the section covering the proper way to kiss a boo-boo. It's just part of the job.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:

# Last night we had our first real taste of severe weather since April 27 2011. For 3 hours we were all curled up in a queen sized bed hiding under the covers. I used to be nervous during bad weather....now after seeing first hand what one can do it seems I'm scared to death.

# "Alex say I" "IIIII" "Love" "Ruve" "You" "Elmo!!!"

Hand Foot & Ouch Disease

I fully believe that God will only give us what he knows we can handle at one time. Friday night we got some calming news, Saturday morning we woke up to Alex being sick with possible Hand Foot & Mouth. What was a tiny bump on his cheek yesterday turned into a massive inflammation all over his body this morning. It's never a good thing when you call the Dr. and he asks you to come in the side entrance so you don't come into contact with anyone else. Turns out little man has Impetigo which means no baby kisses for 7 days to say the least and the loss of at least one vacation day on my part.


We were very fortunate with Alex to be able to allow for him to stay home with Mandy the first year of his life. Adam started daycare at 6 weeks. There's an upside and downside to everything though. Adam has been exposed to every illness under the sun and these days on the rare occasion he says he doesn't feel good you better stand up and take notice. It's all new for Alex so the opposite is true, if it walks through those daycare doors there's a good bet he's gonna catch it.


Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:

# Shout out to the looky-loos from Mountain View, California and Wilmington, Delaware.

# I have somehow jacked up my ear and can't hear good out of my right side. May be my first ear infection in 36 years.

To Everything Turn Turn Turn

Right off the bat 2012 felt like the season of change and while that has definitely been the case so far what with Mandy starting real estate school, some changes have thrown us a bit of a curve. For the moment one of the most unexpected is the likely passing of our cat Buttons.

The story of Buttons the main coon cat starts back in September of 1998. Mandy and I had just moved into our first apartment and did what most kids our age did in that we simply went whichever direction the wind took us. That meant instead of going down the street to visit the little old lady that had placed an ad in the local newspaper to pick out a kitten for my birthday, we ended up with two. There they were curled up next to each other in a tight little ball, Mandy reaching for soon to be called Sassy and I the future Buttons. It took us two seconds to decide to take them both home.

For the longest they were our children. We took videos of them, tons of pictures, played with them constantly, bragged to our friends what our crazy pets had done the night before. We used to buy them Christmas stockings every year full of catnip toys.

When we first found out Mandy was pregnant our old children very quickly turned transformed into house cats. We tried our best to prep them for the arrival of Adam. I even ordered a cd off the web that featured babies laughing, crying, throwing tantrums in hopes of getting them used to the noise. Sadly it didn't take....Sassy who was always the princess of the house quickly lost her mind. One day within that first month we turned our back for one second and found her trying to sleep on Adam's face while he lay in his swing. Buttons took a swing at him. Things kinda went down hill from there and eventually Sassy went completely off the deep end. Soon she became sick and very erratic. We were forced to make some tough decisions.

We took Sassy's passing pretty hard. Looking back it was as if she represented a part of our youth that had suddenly vanished. For 7 years it had just been the cats and Mandy and I. Suddenly we had a house, and a new baby, and this payment, and that full time job, and....it all seemed to happen overnight.

Buttons the cat will turn 14 this year and it looks like very soon he will be leaving us. He's deaf, has lost a ton of weight, and is having bladder issues. He hates everyone at this point. This new life is too loud for him, we move too fast, stomp too much, and he's constantly being forced to find a new hiding place. Mandy and I know we should probably do the right thing, but for the moment he's comfortable.

The season of change is just beginning.

Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# It was nice to just lay around the house all day and take catnaps. We cleared some room from the DVR and Adam scored 7 points in his 3rd basketball game this morning.

# The best thing about living in a small town is bumping into old and new friends everywhere you go. The worst thing about living in a small town is bumping into old enemies everywhere you go.

Taking the night off

We got some really good news today which I can't share other than to say God is so good. Half of a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders, a lot of prayers were answered, and now we just have to wait for the other shoe to drop. The big difference being that we now have a safety net to catch us and may decide to go ahead and jump into it instead of waiting for what seems like is going to be the inevitable. This weekend it all about rest and relaxing though so no Chips Off The Ole Blockhead tonight. We'll talk again tomorrow.

A-Corn-y Story

I don't even know if I should write what happened last night, but the thought of a 13 year old Adam being embarrassed as he reads what took place is just too much. I will warn you though that before you go any further this is most def a PG-13 kinda story.....

Adam's buddy Racer gave him a bag of acorns last night at church. Adam thought this was the most awesome thing ever and began to run around talking about how he was going to put them in the ground and grow an Ache tree. Funny but not as funny as what happened at bed time....again now's your chance to flip past this post....

I go to put Adam to bed last night and I notice he's holding the tiny black velvet bag with all the acorns in it. "What are you doing with that?" Thinking that I knew full well what his answer would be....instead I got back "That's my nut sack Dad. I'm going to sleep with my nut sack tonight." Now obviously my five year old sweet innocent Adam has no idea what this means so I choke back a burst of laughter and reply "Well let's put it on your dresser so you don't spill your nuts all over the place."

Fast forward 6 hours. I roll over in the night to the sound of what I think is Mandy talking in her sleep. "Wake up honey, you are talking out loud. You're having a bad dream." "I'm not asleep I was talking to Adam" "He was in here? Are you sure? What did he want?" I promise you I'm not making this up. With all seriousness and as matter of fact as if she had said the sky was blue Mandy said "He can't find his nut sack and wants me to help him look for it."

Fast forward a few more hours. Adam is up, we are moments away from walking out the door, and the acorns pop up again. "What do you have in your hand little man?" "It's my nut sack Dad. I want to take it to school and show my friends". At this point I'm losing it every time he says it, but I must reply in a way as to not encourage him to say it more. "Listen man I don't think nut sack is the best thing to call it......how about seed sack?" This practically sends Mandy falling to the kitchen floor in a fit of laughter. She's barely able to speak and somehow squeaks out "Call it his acorn bag!"

Mandy and I then spent the entire day letting our imaginations run wild as to what could possibly be taking place at school. "Mr. Beck are you aware your son offered to show his nut sack to Jenny Jenkins?" "Mrs. Beck did you know Adam asked if he could bring his nut sack to show and tell?" "Um yes this is the principal, Adam is in my office and he swears you hid his nut sack last night." I don't make it up folks. I just live it.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Watched Kung Foo Panda 2 tonight. One of the best movies I've seen in a while!
# Newman's Own Organic Extra Bold Coffee and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies should never be consumed after 11 P.M. I learned this lesson the hard way last night.

The Curious Case Of The Casual Curse

People say curse words. Growing up The Angry Man (who I seem to be talking about a lot lately) was a master crafter of the curse word. He would all too often combine words that had never been attached before into such prose Shakespeare himself would likely stand back and bow in amazement of such creative prose. In another life I myself became quite skilled at the art of the curse. These days while I don't speak that type of language anymore, I don't typically flinch when I hear something on TV or in a movie that would be offensive to others. Honestly not much does offend me....except for something that happened twice today.

On two separate occasions people that I barely know casually began speaking to me using lets just call it alternative language. I couldn't help but laugh at how shocked I was and afterward I realized 3 things.

1. Where once I completely surrounded myself with people that would use such alternative language it would cause the walls to bleed, for the most part nobody around me has spoken like that in 10 years.



2. For some reason I've created an imaginary line where I'm not offended by things I see and hear in my entertainment choices but yet when those same words are said by real life people standing in front of me I'm left stunned like a punch to the gut. Sometimes I just stand there not being able to believe what I just heard.



3. Clearly I'm not doing enough to show those I come into contact with that I'm a Christian.

Those that committed today's offenses were not friends, they were barely acquaintances. A few emails here and there, a couple phone calls, a handshake or two every six months, yet suddenly I felt like we were a couple of frat bros dishing the smack about last nights mixer.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:

# They caught the mugger!!! Here is the arrest report. He's the 15th one down. Intials REH

# This guy shook my hand today so hard I thought I was going to have to learn how to start writing with my left hand. An hour later and I was still considering left handed golf clubs, scissors, and going to get X-rays.

My Two Dads

I snapped out of the funk I was in last night. My guess is everyone is thankful it only lasted one day.

My dad texted me this morning. I've got to say that I'm really enjoying waking up every morning and finding a message from him. I'm not sure he reads Charlie or not, but regardless it really gets my day started off on a good note to know he's somewhere out there in the ether wondering how Adam's basketball game went or if we got much rain overnight as he makes his way down the hospital halls at 4 A.M.

He wasn't around for a very long time for various reasons not all of which are his fault. We only get to see him once a year which means that Adam has only seen him six times and Alex twice, but we do talk every couple of days. There was a long stretch there where it felt like I was looking out for myself in terms of the kind of support that only a dad can provide. The Angry Man (passed away on Feb 9th a lifetime ago) tried his best but he just didn't have it in him.

I'm not really explaining it too well but in a weird way I am the kind of dad I am because of who they were. I'm not the Angry Man, I'm not my father, I'm a mix of both. I'm too much of one and too much of the other at times, but lets not go there.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Tonight's was Mandy's 1st full night of class. Halfway through and I was missing her like crazy!
# Giving the sermon tomorrow night and I gotta say that I'm just not in to it this time like I should be. Too much stress right now, can't blog about that yet though.

Something's Stuck In The Filter.

I'm too blunt for my own good. Some people would say I'm just a jerk, but really it's a compulsion to spit out the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Combine that with an obsessive side to my personality and the result is that there are some things that I just can't let go of. I think that is why I'm so good at working in Accounts Receivable. Everyday I am faced with invoices that aren't being paid, mistakes that have been made throughout the company, statistics that need to be better. All of these situations typically put me at odds with customers and at times fellow employee's.

You've heard of the saying the buck stops here. In my case the saying couldn't be more true in that if something goes wrong with an order or the customer doesn't pay what they owe, I've got to go digging for what went wrong in hopes it gets correct and doesn't happen again. My obsessive side refuses to allow me to let go of the problem until I'm satisfied as to what went wrong, my inability to filter my thoughts often means I ask the questions that others think but never say. This often leads to confrontations which afterward triggers my compulsive side again leaving me replaying conversations days, weeks, sometimes years later.

Tonight I'm chewing on something and can't let it go.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# The Golden Globes were last night. I hate television/movie awards shows. Who are these people that enjoy sitting around watching Clooney & Co. pat themselves on the back all night. At least with music awards you get unique performances that you can't see anywhere else.

The First Closing

As a Deacon in the Church of Christ it is my honor to pull together enough members required to put on a proper service. This could mean anywhere from 5-13 people depending on which service we are talking. I've been doing it for about a year so while it can be hectic gathering that many people in less than 10 minutes, I'm fairly good at it and I enjoy it. Part of the process means I occasionally ask those willing to serve to step out of their comfort zone and lead a prayer or read scripture. As a sign that I too am willing to make those same steps, I try to at least put myself in that same uncomfortable position once a month.

For the first time ever I lead closing prayer this morning. Here's what it sounded like:

Dear Heavenly Father, we come to you today in remembrance of the sacrifice you made of your son on that cross at Calvary. Dear Lord we come to you as a family. A family that shares in the ups and downs of life. A family that can't help but to smile as we look around the room and see all the others that have decided to join us in such great fellowship today. A family that offers this prayer today for those that are unable to attend or are no longer with us. We are family that worships together. A family that hurts together....some spiritually some physically...some have been mentioned...some have not. Lord we ask that you lift them up, ease their sorrows, and if need be open their hearts to the wonders that only you can provide. May we all come together to share in your glory once again at the appointed time. Amen

Afterward Adam who just seconds before refused to stand still, ran up to me to show me what he was doing as I was in front of the congregation. As I rolled my eyes and said there's no telling, he stood perfectly straight, bowed his head, and closed his eyes....some prayers are instantly answered.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I will once again attempt to get up and start exercising in the morning. My co-workers may be getting tired of hearing me yawn so much in the morning, so I thought I'd try to get up 30 mins earlier and get the blood flowing better.
# Tonight we watched Mr. Poppers Penguins. Great family movie, although I thought the ending would have been better had he turned The Tavern On The Green into a penguin sanctuary like that duck hotel in Nashville.
# I also saw the movie Faster with the Rock. For some reason I can't shake wondering what happened to that guy once he killed all those that were responsible for his brother's death. Once you get your revenge what do you do with the rest of your life?

Taking A Break From All Your Worries Sure Helps A Lot

I can't write about everything that goes on in life on Charlie as much as I'd like to. Charlie is definitely the place I go turn to, when I need to work something out internally. Still though while I may work the outline out in my head, some posts are never meant to be written. Yesterday was the perfect day. It was a real chance for us to be a family and put aside some of the pressures that have been dogging us lately. Adam had his first basketball game, then I took him to his first college basketball game to show him what could be (I think he really got it). Last night Mandy and Adam went out, that left me to play with Alex by myself for a while.

It's days like yesterday that are truly gifts from God.

The Fabulous Chuckie Cheese Hotel And Casino!!

You won't hear me say this too often and I won't say it too loudly, but deep down despite all my crying, moaning, groaning, and complaining, there is a part of me that likes Chuckie Cheese. I hate the noise, the kids are out of control, there's chaos everywhere (chaos is my arch nemesis), and the pizza tastes like it was made my Chef Boyardee.

Like a cat being forced to take a bath, I am occasionally left with no choice but to coalesce. I have to say However technically Chuckie Cheeses isn't a casino! It's a place where a kid can be a kid!! A place where Dad can spend $50 plugging in tokens which just happen to be worth 25 cents into slot machines that are shaped like wild animals and spit out tickets you can use to buy stuff with. Now I don't need a giant ruler, a heard of miniature buffalo, or a spider ring on every finger, but I do like the feeling of hitting a lucky streak on Bart Simpson's Jackpot-A-Palooza and walking away with $15 in my pocket...I mean giving Adam 60 tickets that are worth 3 Tootsie Rolls.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#Working 3 minutes from home is normally a good thing. Unless you have bad day. A nice 30 minute drive home sure would help ease some tension before I walked into the door and started the next part of the day
#The weekend is packed! Basketball games, two parties, a ton of stuff to do around the house, and a copy of Mr Popper's Penguins to watch! Oh and I gotta get back to playing Tiger Woods 2011 and Zelda!

Charmed To Sleep

Fell asleep fast last night and completely forgot to post. It happened so fast I forget to feed Buttons and didn't get some cleaning done that on my list before bed. Some nights it happens like that. I blame it on my last minute decision to have a bowl of Lucky Charms at 9:30. All that sugar so late at night is never a good thing.

Yama Yama Pajama Drama

Alex has a special order in which he likes to wear his pajamas. If you attempt to put them on out of order, be prepared for some kicking and screaming followed by flailing, whaling, and whining. Then a half hour of him trying to pull his clothes off.

Alex's Pajama Line-Up
1) Tickle Me Elmo Pajamas
2) Regular Elmo Pajamas
3) Tigger Pajamas
4) Spiderman Pajamas
5) Super Cute Pajamas
6) Monkey Onesie
7) Construction Crew Onesie

This order must be followed or like I said nobody is going to be getting any sleep any time soon.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I know tonight was kinda short, but hey I've got 354 posts left to write this year
#I'm thinking about my New Year's Resolutions and so far the whole stop biting my nails thing is just not happening.

Mr. Short Term Memory Strikes Again!

Every night I go to bed making myself the promise that I will get Adam up at 6:50. 10 minutes may not seem like that significant amount of time considering all the minutes in a 24 hour day. Yet those 10 minutes haunt me till around lunch time. See by letting him sleep those precious 10 extra minutes, I'm setting him up to put on his clothes 10 minutes later, brush his teeth 10 minutes later, grab his school stuff 10 minutes later.

That extra 10 minutes of sleep inevitably means he's at school at 7:40 instead of 7:30, I'm at the office at 7:55 instead of 7:45, and my morning report is sent out at 8:20 instead of 8:10....honestly it goes on like that until noon when I'm able to reset after lunch.

Now this isn't a post about how obsessive compulsive I am (not to say that's not fodder for a different day), my point is that every night I go to bed and without fail forget that children do not care if you are late. Don't waste your breath teaching them how to tell time. They don't care. You can scream, stomp, push, pull, beg, bribe, and bargain...not going to do you any good.

There's always a crayon to look at, a toy to try and sneak in their pocket, a sandwich that doesn't smell right, a seatbelt that doesn't fit like it did yesterday, a zipper that won't zip, a potty break that must be taken, a kitty cat that must be petted, a shoelace that must be tied, another kiss goodbye that must be given to brother, another game of Guess What that must be played, a rock that must be thrown, a stick that must be touched, a button that won't button, a waffle that must be eaten...they think it's funny and they do it on purpose. Silently chuckling to themselves on their way into school.

I'm the insane one though because every morning I creep into his room at 6:50 and I look at that precious angel fast asleep in his Spiderman pajamas and I think to myself "What's 10 more minutes of sleep going to hurt."

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I'm addicted to my K-Cup machine. I want it every night now. Trying not to hit my stock pile to hard, but nothing is better after a long day than a hot chocolate, chai latte, or lemon black tea.
#Love to Mandy who started school tonight.

Queue Today's Post!

We take our movies pretty seriously in this house, or rather we take out Netflix queue pretty seriously. Earlier in the year when they had the big spike in price we put our account on hold and switched to Red Box. The idea of Red Box is pretty simple. It's a vending machine with movies instead of candy. They are on every corner and for the most part they always have something you wanna see. Plus they routinely send out free movie offers.

Red Box is great idea however there is one major flaw that had us switching back to Netflix and that's winter. I can tolerate the occasional line and not always being able to get the movie I want. One cold morning standing in front of a machine with temps down in the 20's being knocked over by 25 mph wind gusts though and it's sooooo long Red Box. You just can't beat walking out to your mailbox every couple of days for a new flick.

As I said, we take our Queue very seriously. On Tuesdays I always make sure to add the new releases. A few times a month I will delete movies that are coming on Starz or HBO and DVR them instead. I check the Target add every week looking for what has come out on DVD then pop over to Netflix and add them to my list.

The list in itself is a thing of beauty. Every type of movie is included in order to make sure each member of the family is covered. Cartoons, documentaries, action, romance, suspense...depending on the mood and what's going on during the week, the perfect movie is there ready to be added to the top. Oh and just in case it's not available, there's always the backup and backup backup movie that is ready to be shipped.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#Mandy starts Real estate school tomorrow night so wish her luck if you see her!!
#Still no word on Saturday nights excitement. Maybe they caught the guy, but I'll still be looking for a royal blue mustang with white horses on the side the next time I'm in town
#I understand that tonight's post makes me sound completely insane and I'm okay with that
#Not only did the BAM's win the National Championship they were the 1st to have a shutout in BCS history. I've been talking trash for a week. Gonna have to drink a bunch of shutup juice tomorrow
#The season of change is underway. More on that later....

Like Water For Blockheads

We are not ones to ever stop much during the week. Between keeping the house clean, homework, baths, basketball, church, working late, and the occasional night out; the week is often exhausting to say the least. Still though once that bell goes off @ 5:00 Friday it's an all out race to see what all we can cram into two days and some change. Friday was dinner, some cartoons with the kids, and a few hours relaxing before pass out. Saturday was up early hitting the yard sales looking for stuff to sell on Ebay, then breakfast, then a good portion of the day spent putting up Christmas so as not to be one of those rednecks that keep them up (and turned on) until July.

By noon Adam was wondering if it was already Sunday. Later we hit the steak house, Target, the mall where we almost got mugged (see last nights post), finally we crashed watching SNL. Sunday Church, Pizza, Coupon clipping, cleaning house, meeting @ church, church service, Jacks, and then at 9:00 we got around to putting in the movie Water For Elephants (Pretty good. Nice old movie feel to it).

We've done all of this and should be in bed now @ 11:00, yet we just can't let go of the weekend. It's always like this on Sunday nights. Just 30 more minutes, just one more show, maybe a late night snack. It's the same way every Sunday. We just hold on to the weekend as long as we possibly can.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I did call the police today and tried to talk to an actual person about the mugger from last night, but still only got a message. There was nothing in the paper or local news today, so I'm thinking the guy wasn't caught. Maybe they will call back tomorrow.
#Alex is now refusing to where anything but Elmo and Spiderman pajamas. He has 2 of 1 and only 1 of the other. That means every 3 nights somebody has to do his laundry.

Silence Is Golden

When you have two kids alone time becomes a pretty tricky situation to make happen. By alone time I mean just time to talk about work, what the other person is going through, tell a joke. Before the boys came along Mandy and I had almost 10 years of alone time. We would read 4-5 books a month, there was not a movie we hadn't seen, and the only noise was the sound of me snoring during my Saturday afternoon catnap. Now I'm lucky to read 2 books a year, the only movies I get to watch involve animals doing Kung-Fu, and silence is an alarm that somebody is doing something they are not supposed to in the other room (coloring on the walls, using Mommy's makeup, trying to sneak food).

Maybe we took it for granted before the boys. I can't remember what it was like coming home to an empty house cooking dinner for two. Being at home alone and not having to worry about the toy room being a mess.

Not that we don't get to be alone now, when it happens though it's like a gift from God. It might be five minutes sitting on the couch together before the boys wake up, a few moments in the kitchen cooking dinner together, a quick glance and a smile from across the room that seems to make everyone in the crowd disappear. It comes in short spurts and if you aren't careful it will pass you by. I wonder if that's what happens in the early stages of divorce.....people let a moment slip by....then another...then another....soon they forget what they're missing.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I think we soooo almost totally got attacked tonight at the mall. Dude in a blue mustang got out walked up to the van, turned around, and walked back to the car. He kept getting in and out of the car. I sent Mandy and the boys inside, while I went back out pretending to have left something. He cranked the mustang, drove to the next row of parking places, and just sat there. I stopped by the customer service desk and apparently the guy had been out there for hours! I said they should call the cops, the cops showed up, and apparently the guy tried to speed out. The cops rammed him, but he got away.....no idea what happened next. Maybe it will be in the new tomorrow.

Bombs Away!!

It's Friday night so this is going to be a short one. Not much going on other than I'm sounding like the Angry Man tonight. Not in the extreme way, more like griping about toilet paper usage. Adam can't help himself but make these giant balls of paper and then wonders why the toilet breaks every time he takes the Browns to the Superbowl. I'm trying to convince him that you can't shove a dodge ball through a keyhole if you know what I mean. A couple squares at a time and everything will be fine.

He's still not getting it though so what ends up is me sounding like my stepfather banging around the house grumbling about "that boy" and how hard headed he is. "That boy is using too much paper!" "No wonder we have plumbing problems, that boy is flushing a whole role at a time. Tube and all!!" What can I say other than it's just another night at the Blockhead house.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I'm really getting sick of these BAM's!!! War Eagle and Geaux LSU! They actually cancelled Adam's 1st basketball game and it started 3 hours before kick-off. Heaven forbid one those tree killers misses 5 minutes. Instead let's just cancel every extracurricular activity in the state I suppose.