It’s amazing how much the inside your fridge evolves during the course of your life. Back in college I had a mini-fridge and all it could hold was 2 six packs of wine coolers and a bottle of Boones Farm (turned sideways). Once I moved out on my own I never seemed to have enough food to account for the regular sized appliance. However back then I could fit an entire pizza box in it thus saving myself from having to wrap the left over pieces in foil (I’ve never been able to figure out how to use plastic wrap) or heaven forbid Tupperware (just something else to eventually have to wash).
Getting married requires that food be in the house mainly due to the fact that women are not born with the ability to eat nothing but frozen burritos and week old pizza for months at a stretch. That and romans in a cup should never be the husband’s answer to the wife’s “Honey what are we having for dinner tonight?” So the wife comes in and the shelves get filled but not over-filled mind you, just a few things on here and there. Oh and the married man has condiments. Single man just eats everything plain unless he remembers to get extra packets of mustard/ketchup from McDonalds.
Once baby comes along getting something out of the refrigerator turns into an Olympic event.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WELCOME TO THE DAILY FRIDGE-O-LYMPICS!!!
‘TODAYS TASK? TRYING TO REMOVE THE GRAPE JELLY WITHOUT EMPTYING THE ENTIRE APPLIANCE!!!!!”
“THE CLOCK WILL START WHEN THE GAME CUTS TO A COMMMERCIAL ANNNNNNDDDD OPEN THAAAAT FRIDDDGGGGEEEEE!”
“Ok it’s never on the bottom shelf, so I’ll look top first.’
“No No that was too easy. Second from the bottom…..crap!”
“Second from top has got way too much on it. Wait!! I think I just saw the bottom of it from the top of the second shelf!!!”
“Alright!! Now I know where it’s at…the time is ticking though!!! My commercials almost over and my sandwich is still missing jelly…I may just have to settle for a PB instead of a PB&J”
“Let’s see…what if I take the juice container and slide it to the right, put last nights leftovers on the bottom, move the two gallons of milk (whole for him and 2% for us) where the food was, oops don’t wanna smush a grape (top shelf cause baby can reach them everywhere else), tea pitcher goes to the left, cake icing fits in the door (same reason as the grapes), and maybe just maybe I can reach back between the OJ carton and two liter of Coke, grab the top of the jelly, and go over the top of the drinks…..yes TETRIS!!!!!”
“THANKS FOR TUNING INTO TODAYS EPISODE OF FRIDGE-O-LYMPICS. THIS HAS BEEN YOUR HOST IMA-WIENER. CHECK BACK TOMORROW WHEN WE’LL ASK THE QUESTION…..WHERE’S THAT TINY BOTTLE OF TOBASCO SAUCE???!!!!”
No comments:
Post a Comment