Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Best Of Blockhead: We Got the Beat. We-Got-The-Beat!!! YEAH!!!

With all the moving taking place and the new found fact that I have gout, I've decided to amend my resolution to post everyday this year. On occasions such as today I thought it would be a good idea to repost some of my favorites from the past. Tonight's comes from Sept 12 2006. A time when I was still going as Charlie, Mandy was Lucy, and Adam was Fred (Chief Redface). Enjoy!!

So it was about a 6-hour drive back from the beach and Fred was amazing.He slept, he played, he ate, he drank, he laughed…but he did not cry.That’s right!!! 450 miles, 2 stops, and no tears. Un-freak’n-believable.We got 15 miles from home and just knew we had it made. Nothing could stop us now!!!But maybe someone could.A full days worth of tears combined with the pain of being strapped into a car seat all day forged a tantrum we are seldom witness to. Chief Redface had returned.So what do you do? You’ve been away from home for four days. You’re tired, irritable, the legs need stretching, you gotta go to the bathroom…but that sign says Muscle Shoals 15 miles. Normally that’s an easy answer. You man-up and push forward, ignore the pain, pee in a bottle, and get home!! Babies don’t know how to man-up. They just throw tantrums.Redface almost got us this time.

We were in the car and far away from our tried and true happy baby tools. We were at our weakest moment, all was thought lost. Lucy was begging me to pull over even though we were only 10 minutes from home…when a flash of brilliance crossed my mind. In an instant I saw Baby Fred bouncing at home in his exersaucer, he’s been there too long and is starting to cry just a little. There is a Barney video playing in the background and out of desperation, I began to clap to the beat. Baby Fred calmed down.Over the noise of the road/crying/Rascal Flats, I scream “CLAPPPPPPP!!! CLAP WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!!!”Lucy, who at this point would have probably made armpit farts if it would have worked, starts banging her hands together with all her might. It worked at first, but it just wasn’t enough. In a show of expert driving ability, at 65mph I adjusted myself so my left knee could steer and began clapping/singing “WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU! ROCK YOU!!!” “WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU! ROCK YOU!!!”And the crying ceased. We stopped clapping and the crying started again. We were now forced to play Redface’s wicked game.

As we drove the final few miles home, we felt the stares from the people in the other cars as they drove by the maniacs clapping as if their lives depended on it. I can almost hear them say “Hey that guy is driving with his knee!!!! Drive past!!! Drive past!!!” We were bruised, battered, and our hands hurt for the next three days, but we made it home and that’s all that counts.Until we meet again Mr. Redface...until we meet again.

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