As long as I can remember back I don't recall ever living in a house with a garbage disposal. I've really never put much thought into it. Never had any sleepless nights staring at the ceiling wondering what life would be like had only I been given the chance to dispose of my trash in the sink instead of a simple garbage can. Never got the feeling that I would have been a better man had I simply been able to empty my food scraps into the sink.
Now that I have one though I'm not exactly sure it's adding any value to the new place. The first night it ate a knife which put it out of commission for three weeks. Then it sucked up half a pot of fresh spaghetti noodles there were going to be our dinner. Last night it almost took two dollars from Alex after he literally tried to throw money down the drain.
At this point I'm not even sure if it can be considered an actual appliance. It's more like this swirling black hole sitting in plain site destroying anything that gets sucked into it's twisting vortex of death. Somewhere in the back of my mind as I reach down into it to remove the latest object of it's affection, I imagine a location somewhere in deep space where a similar black hole sits swirling only suddenly my hand comes rushing out of the opening to grasp some unseen piece of space trash.