Monday, February 04, 2008

Anatomy Of A Hospital Visit (Monday Night)

STOP!! If you haven't read Part I, go back and catch up. We'll wait.

3:30 P.M-Fever 101.8

4:30-101.4 and a 1/4 cup of decaf tea

5:30- I walk in to find the Gigi and Pops sitting around a still sleeping (never really woke up even during the Dr's visit) Fred whose fever has climbed back to 103.7

5:40 Tylenol to make the fever go down.


6:15- Fred asks for juice and chugs an entire bottle in 3 minutes

6:25- Vomits the juice

6:30-Fever 104 We begin to wonder if the Tylenol that was given to bring his fever down is actually keeping it from getting higher.

7:15-Fever 103.8

8:00-Fever 105

8:05-Msg w/Dr.

8:15-Dr. calls back says head to the hospital as soon as possible.

8:30-Lucy's body explodes. Pop's (who was called immediately after the Dr., along with the Gigi) calls from the E.R. wondering where we are and is told "We can't leave till Lucy can get off the toilet"

9:00-We learn that the worst job in the world is the lady at the admitting desk. We know the Dr. has faxed Fred's info, but she ignores it because she thinks Lucy is holding baby Fled instead of baby Fred.

9:01- Fred vomits all and I mean ALL OVER LUCY while she continues to argue with the evil admitting room lady. Finally she figures out the key to getting into a room pronto. This key is the phrase "IF YOU DON"T GET ME IN ROOM NOW THE NEXT ROUND OF VOMIT WILL BE ON YOU!!"

9:03-Our room is ready.

9:15-Fever 103. More vomit

10:00-We are warned that in no way what so ever do we want to witness the IV being put in. Fred is then lead down to the opposite end of the hall, strapped to a table....and through two doors, the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air turned all the way up, and Pops trying his best to make conversation....we hear Fred screaming for Mommy.

10:15-What was to only take 5 minutes goes on for another 25

10:30-Fred's too dehydrated to allow the IV to be put in after 4 attempts. He is brought back and given juice.

11:00-2nd Attempt at the IV. This time he sees it coming and it's worse. After another 3 attempts.

11:30-Fred is brought back to us with his arm boarded up to keep the IV from coming out of the bend in his elbow I wonder if he thinks the tape and boards were but there to make his arm quit hurting.

11:45-Fred is calm. Lucy and I are dying for a soft drink. Pops and I head out through the abandoned hospital to find a machine. We locate one, but it won't take dollars. That's when Pops sees the janitor cleaning the floor across the hall in the locked cafeteria which just happens to be filled with Coke machines. The janitor says there's nothing he can do, refuses to let us in to get one from the cafeteria, and is told "You're an idiot" by a very pissed off grandfather trying to shrug off his grandsons cries of pain.

11:50-Fever 101

11:55-Pops and Gigi go home for the night now that Fred is stable with a yet to be determined virus. Still thirsty I travel to the 3rd floor for a Coke. It does take my dollar, but is out of drinks. That's when I get the idea to put the dollar in the snack machine, hit the refund button, and take my change back down to the 1st floor machine. I hate hospitals.

2:00 A.M.-Having slept all day, Fred is feeling better from the med's and we all fall asleep (Lucy in the fold out chair and I curled up in the tiny bed next to Fred) watching the Blue's Clues DVD Lucy managed to snag on the way out.

Check back tomorrow morning for the next installment!!!

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