Queue Today's Post!

We take our movies pretty seriously in this house, or rather we take out Netflix queue pretty seriously. Earlier in the year when they had the big spike in price we put our account on hold and switched to Red Box. The idea of Red Box is pretty simple. It's a vending machine with movies instead of candy. They are on every corner and for the most part they always have something you wanna see. Plus they routinely send out free movie offers.

Red Box is great idea however there is one major flaw that had us switching back to Netflix and that's winter. I can tolerate the occasional line and not always being able to get the movie I want. One cold morning standing in front of a machine with temps down in the 20's being knocked over by 25 mph wind gusts though and it's sooooo long Red Box. You just can't beat walking out to your mailbox every couple of days for a new flick.

As I said, we take our Queue very seriously. On Tuesdays I always make sure to add the new releases. A few times a month I will delete movies that are coming on Starz or HBO and DVR them instead. I check the Target add every week looking for what has come out on DVD then pop over to Netflix and add them to my list.

The list in itself is a thing of beauty. Every type of movie is included in order to make sure each member of the family is covered. Cartoons, documentaries, action, romance, suspense...depending on the mood and what's going on during the week, the perfect movie is there ready to be added to the top. Oh and just in case it's not available, there's always the backup and backup backup movie that is ready to be shipped.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#Mandy starts Real estate school tomorrow night so wish her luck if you see her!!
#Still no word on Saturday nights excitement. Maybe they caught the guy, but I'll still be looking for a royal blue mustang with white horses on the side the next time I'm in town
#I understand that tonight's post makes me sound completely insane and I'm okay with that
#Not only did the BAM's win the National Championship they were the 1st to have a shutout in BCS history. I've been talking trash for a week. Gonna have to drink a bunch of shutup juice tomorrow
#The season of change is underway. More on that later....

Like Water For Blockheads

We are not ones to ever stop much during the week. Between keeping the house clean, homework, baths, basketball, church, working late, and the occasional night out; the week is often exhausting to say the least. Still though once that bell goes off @ 5:00 Friday it's an all out race to see what all we can cram into two days and some change. Friday was dinner, some cartoons with the kids, and a few hours relaxing before pass out. Saturday was up early hitting the yard sales looking for stuff to sell on Ebay, then breakfast, then a good portion of the day spent putting up Christmas so as not to be one of those rednecks that keep them up (and turned on) until July.

By noon Adam was wondering if it was already Sunday. Later we hit the steak house, Target, the mall where we almost got mugged (see last nights post), finally we crashed watching SNL. Sunday Church, Pizza, Coupon clipping, cleaning house, meeting @ church, church service, Jacks, and then at 9:00 we got around to putting in the movie Water For Elephants (Pretty good. Nice old movie feel to it).

We've done all of this and should be in bed now @ 11:00, yet we just can't let go of the weekend. It's always like this on Sunday nights. Just 30 more minutes, just one more show, maybe a late night snack. It's the same way every Sunday. We just hold on to the weekend as long as we possibly can.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I did call the police today and tried to talk to an actual person about the mugger from last night, but still only got a message. There was nothing in the paper or local news today, so I'm thinking the guy wasn't caught. Maybe they will call back tomorrow.
#Alex is now refusing to where anything but Elmo and Spiderman pajamas. He has 2 of 1 and only 1 of the other. That means every 3 nights somebody has to do his laundry.

Silence Is Golden

When you have two kids alone time becomes a pretty tricky situation to make happen. By alone time I mean just time to talk about work, what the other person is going through, tell a joke. Before the boys came along Mandy and I had almost 10 years of alone time. We would read 4-5 books a month, there was not a movie we hadn't seen, and the only noise was the sound of me snoring during my Saturday afternoon catnap. Now I'm lucky to read 2 books a year, the only movies I get to watch involve animals doing Kung-Fu, and silence is an alarm that somebody is doing something they are not supposed to in the other room (coloring on the walls, using Mommy's makeup, trying to sneak food).

Maybe we took it for granted before the boys. I can't remember what it was like coming home to an empty house cooking dinner for two. Being at home alone and not having to worry about the toy room being a mess.

Not that we don't get to be alone now, when it happens though it's like a gift from God. It might be five minutes sitting on the couch together before the boys wake up, a few moments in the kitchen cooking dinner together, a quick glance and a smile from across the room that seems to make everyone in the crowd disappear. It comes in short spurts and if you aren't careful it will pass you by. I wonder if that's what happens in the early stages of divorce.....people let a moment slip by....then another...then another....soon they forget what they're missing.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I think we soooo almost totally got attacked tonight at the mall. Dude in a blue mustang got out walked up to the van, turned around, and walked back to the car. He kept getting in and out of the car. I sent Mandy and the boys inside, while I went back out pretending to have left something. He cranked the mustang, drove to the next row of parking places, and just sat there. I stopped by the customer service desk and apparently the guy had been out there for hours! I said they should call the cops, the cops showed up, and apparently the guy tried to speed out. The cops rammed him, but he got away.....no idea what happened next. Maybe it will be in the new tomorrow.

Bombs Away!!

It's Friday night so this is going to be a short one. Not much going on other than I'm sounding like the Angry Man tonight. Not in the extreme way, more like griping about toilet paper usage. Adam can't help himself but make these giant balls of paper and then wonders why the toilet breaks every time he takes the Browns to the Superbowl. I'm trying to convince him that you can't shove a dodge ball through a keyhole if you know what I mean. A couple squares at a time and everything will be fine.

He's still not getting it though so what ends up is me sounding like my stepfather banging around the house grumbling about "that boy" and how hard headed he is. "That boy is using too much paper!" "No wonder we have plumbing problems, that boy is flushing a whole role at a time. Tube and all!!" What can I say other than it's just another night at the Blockhead house.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#I'm really getting sick of these BAM's!!! War Eagle and Geaux LSU! They actually cancelled Adam's 1st basketball game and it started 3 hours before kick-off. Heaven forbid one those tree killers misses 5 minutes. Instead let's just cancel every extracurricular activity in the state I suppose.

Multiple Questions and Answers

The planets aligned themselves this afternoon and I managed to have an hour where I could take Adam out for ice-cream just the two of us. I remember my dad taking me out for food some afternoons before Broccoli came along.

Today I was talking to Father of Five about statistics and keeping track of who is visiting. I used to pay pretty close attention to every little incoming link and spec on the map. Wondering just who in Moscow had stumbled across my little corner of the web. For a time there I spent quite a few weeks and months wondering how to attract the most attention. I even managed to get a mention on CBS's news site for a post I had done about a Mattel toy recall. As some of you may know for the longest I was even a Blogger For Hire, grinding out post after post on every thing from American Idol (I once interviewed a runner up) to Japanese high end golf clubs. I can write a post about anything in a matter of minutes all I need are a couple facts at the most and at times a picture would give me all the info I needed to craft a 500 word blog. As I said I did this for several years. Writing as many as 15-20 posts a week. I stopped all blogging on April 27th last year. The words ran out. For a few years there I was posting 100-135 times a year for Charlie. Last year I wrote 6. By this coming Sunday I will have doubled that total in the first week of the month.

These two things, exposure and money, would be the B & C options to the multiple choice question "Why did you start blogging?". Both would be incorrect. I got into blogging because I was scared to death about being a father. Now is not the time to dig up old bones, but needless to say that is one part of my life that was lacking. So I found Daddy bloggers across the web and I started following. Soon after I started doing it myself. Blogging is a way to relieve frustrations, to twist the valve and depressurize. Most importantly long after I'm gone, my kids will know exactly who I am. They will know their father's every thought, crazy screw up, rude habit, favorite event. The story of their birth and their birthdays. I've got them all saved to a file and as of today they number over 404.

The answer to the question is E) Both A-For my kids and D-For myself.

Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
#Do you say Egyptians like Egypt-shins or Egypt-she-ins? For some reason I think the Bangles mangled the word in the name of creative license.
#Last night I may have come off as a jerk when I talked about the horror of a 15 minute conversation about birds. I should have at least made an effort to fictionalize a portion so as not to offend anyone. Maybe I should get one of those Law & Order statements to popup whenever someone clicks over. "What you are about to read is partly fictional. Any relation to actual events is coincidental."
# Jersey Shore started tonight and I did not DVR it. I always feel like a dieter who just polished off a large pizza with everything on it afterward. People ask what I did the previous night and I simply can't bring myself to say I spent an hour watching monkeys throw poop at each other.

The Thought Patterns Of The North American Father

The only downside to Adam throwing that big hissy fit last night during what was supposed to be basketball practice was that we may have gotten our point across (at least for the moment). We are the parents. You don't do what we say, you don't get your way. The second he got in the car this afternoon he said "Can we try again Dad?" The word basketball was never mentioned. To me this says he'd been thinking about it all day just like his mom and I had.

I'm still tinkering with the format but I like the whole random thoughts thing I've been doing the last couple of nights. I fully expect larger posts to come from those, but if not I think they are nice little windows into what's going on in my mind during the day.

The boys are fighting. I don't mean at this particular moment...I mean yes they are fighting as I type this....I mean in it in a broader sense as in THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE IN THE RELATIONSHIP! Don't get me wrong they love each other to death, but a certain level of annoyance has crept into what was a perfect state of brotherly love. Alex has no idea what the word MINE! is but he likes saying it and always gets a response from Adam. Adam knows what it means, but refuses to understand the connection between saying something and knowing what is being said. At least 20 times a day we hear "MINE!!" "IT'S NOT YOURS ALEX!!".

It's been a long day....time for TONIGHT'S BLOCKHEAD BITS....kinda lame? REASONS I'M A BLOCKHEAD!! I'll have to settle on something soon.

#I find it weird when people tell me they read the obituaries everyday in the local paper. I mean if I hear Frank James passed away (apologies to the James family for any confusion your husband is not dead) I go to my local paper and check it out. There are those that scout out the obits like I would the sports page looking for who's been traded to another team. I live with one of these people and honestly I just don't understand the need to take a daily roll call of the dead.

#I have discovered that I apparently have lost the ability to tactfully remove myself from a conversation. I don't know when I lost this valuable skill, but twice today I was forced to listen to 15 minutes of blah blah blah blah. I just stood there glued to the floor saying things like "Tell me about it" "I bet man!" "Wow that's rough". All the while my brain is screaming at the other parts of my body as if I suddenly became paralyzed. I promise you all I said was "This is some weather huh?" and I got a 20 minute lecture on the migration patterns of the North American Starling.

#Contrary to what my kids think I do like having conversations with their mother, however apparently they are dead level set on making sure this only happens between the hours of Midnight and 6:30 A.M

The Best Laid Plans

Since I'm in day 3 of 365 days of posting, some of this stuff is going to be completely random.

I started back to work today and as much as I talked yesterday about missing it to a certain extent, I did figure one thing out i.e. my back problems are magnified by my chair at work. Not to say the chair is directly responsible for my left arm going numb the moment I sit down, but it had almost gone away and now it's back to it's pre-holiday condition.

As a parent work brings about all kinds of issues. The first one to smack me in the face this morning was the list of things I wish I had done with the boys during the holiday season. Of course there is never enough time to do all that we want, but that doesn't stop me from daydreaming of all that cool times that could be had if given another day off.

There are going to be days when you can make up for lost time the moment you walk in the door...then there are those days when no matter what you've got planed the child is just not going to cooperate. Today's dream was taking Adam to the church gym to get in a little extra basketball practice before his 1st game next Monday. It was to be a father son moment made in heaven. Just a family hanging out shooting some baskets. In reality he started throwing a fit almost immediately, would only listen for 3 seconds at a time, and finally after 10 minutes he threw himself on the ground consequently bumping his head on the floor, and started screaming he had been pushed. Practice cancelled. Daydream crushed.

To rub salt into the wound he did all of this within earshot of the ladies exercise class who were nice enough to promise not to call the authorities all the while chuckling between sit-ups. Needless to say somebody is going to bed early tonight(probably 4 somebodies)

Tonight's random thoughts

• My dashboard says I've been posting for 6 years! How in the world do I know if I'm repeating my title's or not?



• I've always thought that my mother was born on Feb 29th during a leap year. That we only celebrate her birthday on the 28th so she won't have to wait another 4 years for a free dinner at the Chinese Buffet. I was recently informed that this was apparently something I made up out of thin air and while she was born in a leap year she was not born on leap day. I'm 36 and I'm just now finding this out.

Counting The Days Till November 2012

My favorite part of the holidays it all the time off we get. Typically Mandy and I are off for the better part of 13 days. This year I had a couple 4 day weekends back to back while Mandy got the whole week off. I would have joined her, but vacation days are like gold bars and I've already used 2 of my allowed 15 days. The remaining 13 are supposed to last me until November!

Today Mandy was back at work so it was just me & the boys. We spent the 1st half gathering all the miscellaneous pieces of the Batman Imaginext universe we have collected over the years. All together we have The Batcave, The Joker's Playhouse, Green Lantern Corps, almost all the villains, 4 different planes, trains, and automobiles, and about $200 invested. It's ridiculous the amount of toys these kids have. One of our projects this year is to organize and reduce the clutter in this house. A major portion of that will be in the form of toys that have fallen by the wayside.

It was weird being off work today. I think it's a good sign you like your job when after being off for a large period of time, you start to feel pulled back towards it. Not that I won't feel the opposite way in a month, but for now part of me is ready to get back to all my numbers and statistics.

I learned today that my kids have tape worms. They've done nothing but eat all day long! At first I thought I was just giving them junk food so I decided to only offer sandwiches and real food....it didn't stop them. They just kept eating turkey sandwich after turkey sandwich. Then it again it may have just felt like a lot because I was drunk on college football all afternoon (3 SEC bowl games on at the same time! I changed channels so much my remote almost overheated)

I leave you with a few things I can't shake off: Why does soup not accept it's soup and quit trying to be other foods (Taco Soup?) How much must you love someone in order to pretend 3o years have never happened in order to spare them the pain of remembering? At what point am I going to start the "losing weight" portion of my New Year's resolutions.

I resolve to

I did some quick fact checking and it appears the whole idea of making resolutions at New Year's comes from the early Christians who typically spent this time of year looking back and making promises on how to change what they considered to be transgressions made in the past. I've been thinking a lot about the past/future recently. Where am I at both spiritually and physically. Where I want to be in my career come 2013. Is my family going to be any larger come this time next year?

My main problem with resolutions is the same as everyone else's. Here today and gone tomorrow. This year I'm going to resolve to make my resolutions stick by making more broad statements and not trying to limit myself to specific time frames. So here it goes...

1. I resolve to go to the dentist more than I did last year


2. I resolve to try harder to not bite my nails


3. I resolve to lose weight


4. I resolve to watch less TV, read more, and play outside more with the boys


5. I resolve to be a better husband


6. I resolve to pray more and not just close my eyes while wondering what's for lunch, dinner, breakfast, etc....


7. I resolve to save money and be in a better financial position come the end of 2012


8. I resolve to be a better Christian


9. I resolve to help others more.

So far so good. Nothing that has to be accomplished today or tomorrow. I'm simply promising to try harder to do better. To be better in 2012 than I was in 2013. I do have one more though and it may be a tough one. It's something I think I need. Something that has been missing in my life lately. I resolve to blog everyday for the next 365 days. More on why later....So I guess all that is left to say is Happy New Year to all and for now good night!

All I Want For Christmas Is A Playlist

Adam is getting an iPod Shuffle this year so I spent tonight going through my library of 500 songs trying to find the perfect playlist for his 5 yr old ears. Not the easiest thing to do, but once you I cut out all the DMB (too dark), the Cold Play (to deep), Jay Z(too explicit), and Linkin Park (too angry) I was able to pick out a good group of 30+ songs that should be the perfect fit.

Of course iPods were not even science fiction when I was kid and my parents sure never spent the night debating what songs they should record on a cassette. I had a tape player that I tied to the handle bars of my bike. It was so heavy I spent most of the time driving clockwise. I was so cool struggling to stay on my knock off BMX not able to turn left as I bobbed my head to Banana Rama's Cool Summer. The chics knew they didn't stand a chance and made sure to keep their distance.

Most of these Adam listens with me in the car and are his favorites (Silversun Pickups, Cage The Elephant, Train). Others are just my way of trying to teach him the joys of different types of music (Gym Class Heroes, Michael Jackson, Jason Aldean, Adele, DJ Jazzy Jeff)

Anyway without further embarrassment I present Adam's playlist in no particular order:

1. Rolling In The Deep- Adele


2. Swing Swing-All American Rejects


3. Spiderman- The Ramones


4. Nothin On You- BoB


5. Rockabilly Lullaby- The Backyardigans


6. Go Go Go- The Backyardigans


7. Love Done Gone- Billy Currington


8. I Gotta Feeling- Black Eyed Peas


9. Back Against The Wall- Cage The Elephant


10. Show Me What I'm Looking For -Carolina Liar


11. You Break It, We Fix It- Handy Manny


12. Mr. Jones- Counting Crows


13. Summertime- DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince


14. Somewhere Only We Know-Glee


15. Anyway You Want It-Glee


16. Safety Dance-Glee


17. Stereo Hearts-Gym Class Heroes


18. Cupids Chokehold-Gym Class Heroes


19. Scooby Doo Where Are You- Scooby Doo


20. MMMBop- Hanson


21. The Truth-Jason Aldean


22. Sweetness- Jimmy Eat World


23. Moves Like Jagger- Maroon 5


24. Say Hey- Michael Franti


25. PYT- Michael Jackson


26. Remember The Time- Michael Jackson


27. Secrets- One Republic


28. Gitcheed Gitchee Goo- Phineas & Ferb


29. Substitution- Silversun Pickups


30. Hot Dog!- Mickey Mouse


31. That's Not My Name- The Ting Tings


32. Hey Soul Sister-Train


33. Get To Me-Train


34. If It's Love- Train


35. If You're Wondering- Weezer

Captain Crazy

In my old age I fear I'm turning into a crabby grouchy....crazy person. The noise in the house always seems to be a about 50 decibels too high. I'm magnetically drawn to the recliner the moment I walk in the door. It's as if I blackout at times and wake up sitting in the chair with no idea why I sat down or how I got there.

The wake up call came this past week when I had a what I'm going to call a "Get Off My Lawn" moment. Adam's favorite toy for the past 2 months has been his Captain America shield/frisbee. Honestly all pretenses aside, it's my favorite toy. Just the site of it makes me want to run outside and slice up some Hydra baddies while searching for the Red Skull. We came home last week to find the little boy next door was playing with one exactly like ours...his...mine. Immediately I began the interrogation. When did you play with yours last? Where did you leave it? Is that one yours? Can you find yours...ours...mine. It was nowhere to be found so I publicly vowed to go buy him another. Then I secretly vowed to steal Adam's...our...my favorite toy back the moment I saw it laying around.

I searched the yard daily, scanned my neighbors porch as I passed, plotted how I would get it back. Monday afternoon on our return home to the annual July 4th reunion at Granny's we learned that it had slipped behind Adam's bed and was found by Gigi. Clearly there's something to be said for making a bed. Something I don't do much. I should be sleeping better now that Adam's...our....my Captain America shield/frisbee is back, but I can't get over that I was two steps from stealing from a 5 yr old.

There's a reason I'm a blockhead.

These Days And Weeks

I’m trying to be different. I haven’t been the best father in the past. Too many of the wrong things have been taking up my time and I’ve wasted precious moments trying to make a buck. I suppose we all lose focus at times. I feel the need to change somebody’s life or at the very least make it better for a moment or two.

For the past year I’ve been writing five posts a week on various websites for an okay amount of money. Suddenly one day I turned around and I felt trapped by what used to be a part-time job that I enjoyed. The words quit coming as easy and ultimately the money that was earned wasn’t worth the time that was being take from my family. For the first time in I don’t know when I read a story to Adam before bed last week.

Over the past few weeks I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t waste this new found freedom. Tonight we played video games for the first time in two months and had as much fun had we gone to Chucky Cheese. You don’t need a million dollars to make your kids happy, just some free time that you can devote strictly to them.

Adam is never quiet and Alex is learning more and more words every day. It’s funny I literally have one I wish would talk less and another I’m trying to teach to talk more. Somehow I’ve become a T-Ball coach. Not that I have any clue what I’m doing. Most of the time I get so caught up in goofing off with the kids on 1st base that I forget to tell them to run.

There are changes coming. I can feel it. It’s not the tornados that did it. Although April 27 definitely changed the world as we know it in Alabama. There was something about volunteering those three days that made what I had been feeling lately tangible. For the first time I could touch, taste, see, and smell what it was that had been missing. I really enjoy helping people and want to do more to help.

I miss Charlie….see you soon.

My Angel Valentine

It’s hard to mention everything that goes on in the period of a week. So many times I think “Oh that would make a great Charlie post” only to have the idea swallowed up by a dirty diaper, a child refusing to eat his green beans, a story about how the bus driver was a lady and she had a beard, or my boss calling me into his office. What get’s printed is often what just has to be printed for the sake of history and all those little thoughts never see the light of day.

Unfortunately the consequence of that is I don’t get to brag about my Valentine as much as I should. She literally sets the table for me every day. I’m not talking about food (although she did fix my plate at the church potluck yesterday which was really nice) I mean that when I think about my life she has literally put everything I could ever want in front of me. She somehow instinctively knows when I’m out of undershirts and has them washed before the last one is used. She understands how forgetful I am and that I need to be reminded of things a hundred times. She knows that I cannot color coordinate clothes to safe my life and makes sure Adam has an outfit ready every night so he doesn’t leave the house looking like a garbage pail kid.

My Valentine understands that sometimes I just need to gripe and complain. That saving money makes me happy and fruit juice in the fridge brings a smile to my face. She feels the same sadness that I do when more than 3 or 4 hours go by without a word from the other via email, text, or phone. She allows me the time to write a thousand hours ever week and doesn’t give me grief when I’ve got a deadline that causes me to have to come home early from church or a night out with friends.

I pray that I do enough to show her that I’m always trying to do my fair share and that the last thing I expect is for me to be just another person in this house she has to clean up after. That she knows I understand I am nothing without her and that I regret those times when I’ve looked around to discover I have taken her for granted. I hope that I do enough to make her life easier, but ultimately it’s her that brings everything together in my life and the lives of Adam & Alex.

This Valentine’s Day I hope my Valentine knows that I am nothing without her by my side.

I've got an angel

She doesn't wear any wings

She wears a heart that can melt my own

She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing

She gives me presents

With her presence alone

She gives me everything I could wish for

She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

She can make angels

I've seen it with my own eyes

You gotta be careful when you've got good love

Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying

The Escape Artist

It’s hard to believe that we are approaching the birthday month. Alex will be one on 3/12 and Adam might make it five on 3/20 if he can learn to quit burping in people’s faces. While Adam is entering the frightening fives (a continuation of the worrysome one's, the terrible two’s, the thunderous three’s, and the fearsome four’s), Alex seems to be building his personality one day at a time and proving that he is very much a unique individual.

I talked a lot about Adam during his Chief Redface days and how he would get so upset that he could literally generate lightning from a clear blue sky if allowed to get mad enough. Alex doesn’t play around with forces of nature though; he puts that face right in your ear and releases a sonic blast that would make the Black Canary proud. The next day you’re left questioning everything that is said because you can’t hear out of your left ear.

Adam prides himself on being fast and is constantly searching for a pair of new shoes that will help him run like the Flash. Alex isn’t really fast as much as he is sneaky. If I didn’t know better I’d say he could teleport through space and time. Transversing entire buildings before you ever know he’s gone.

Alex also seems to be developing an new laugh that seems to be a mix of John Lovitz’s “look how great I am” and a David Copperfield sort of amazement like even he can’t believe what is happening. One minute he’s sitting in front of you playing with Wacky Town and the next off in the distance you hear “Wha-ha-ha” as he reappears in Adam’s room.….then again this could be a sign that I have poor parenting skills so I’m going to stop there.

Sleep Turrets

In five years of blogging I don’t think I’ve ever gone 4 months without blogging. I mentioned back last September about the guilt that comes from not blogging once a week after putting so many years of work into it and I’m not going to bore you once again only to abandon it only to feel guilty the next time etc…etc… etc….

First off a quick recap: The holidays were a blur of kids running wild, wrapping paper covering entire rooms, and one snow storm after another. It was cool waking up to a white Christmas (something I don’t recall ever seeing), Adam had a blast that day we got 13 inches, then as week after week brought yet another storm all that snow got real old real fast. Oh and we passed around a stomach virus for two weeks, got claustrophobic, and went to the McWane Science Center.

Now on to the point of what has pulled me out of my blogging coma….I have sleep turrets. It sounds funny but honestly at least twice a week I fall asleep on the couch only to wake up alone in the wee hours of the morning. The next day I wake up to hear how I went all Jekyl and Hyde on Mandy all the while having no memory of what was said. This does put a cramp in my marriage at times, but Mandy is used to it and I proved long ago I literally have no earthly idea of the foul vicious things I say in my slumber. Unfortunately Friday night I turned the monster loose on Adam.

The quick story is that Mandy went to bed early, Adam was still up, and I was left on the couch to watch some random show….then it gets fuzzy. I remember Adam standing in front of me, then he walked away….then he may have come back…and I think he left crying that time….I finally came to around 2 a.m. with a ton of guilt sitting on my stomach.

The next morning Mandy and I decided to interrogate the little guy to see if there were any scars. “How did you sleep? Did you like your cartoon last night? Did we hear you crying?” All we got was fine fine good fine. Which is 4 yr old speak for “Hush I’m watching Krypto”

So for the moment I am breathing easy praying that nothing was said out of the ordinary that night, but I just know twenty years from now we will all be sitting around the dinner table and suddenly he’ll blurt out how he spent weeks afraid to come into the living room after bed time for fear I might unleash a string of abuse upon him.

Time for a POP Quiz!!

Recently I've been spending some time taking a look at my parenting skills for no other reason than I probably just have too much time on my hands. Regardless of why, I thought I'd share a bit by giving a piece of the pop quiz that I seem to be taking over and over again at odd hours of the day.


1)Your child decides half through trick-or-treating miles away from the car that he has enough candy. You decide the he is: A) easily satisfied and knows when he has enough, B) is selfless and wants to make sure the other kids have plenty of candy, or C) isn't goal oriented enough and should have set the bar higher?

My answer: D spoiled rotten. After two homecoming parades in as many weeks and a grand tour of the city which resulted in enough candy to make Willy Wonka gasp in disbelief, candy is the last thing he felt he had to try hard for.

2) After taking a bath with his little brother, you catch your child drinking dirty water and pretending to be a fountain. When told that the baby most likely pee'd in the water, the child says "No big deal so did I". Your first reaction is to: A)throw up in the bathtub, B)make him drink a bottle of Listerine to burn the germs off, or C) be proud that he has yet to become the germ-a-phobe that his old man has.

My answer: C but I'll never kiss him on the mouth again.

3) While taking your child to the bathroom at Burger King, he somehow causes the urinal to self destruct sending gallons and gallons of water in the floor. After spending several minutes trapped in the bathroom waiting for the Mississippi river to go down the drain in the middle of the room. You and your child make a solemn vow to never repeat what just happened to anyone on the other side of the door. Which is broken the moment the door is opened and the child shouts "Hey guys guess what just happened" Your reaction is: A) pretend you have no idea why your pants are wet to the ankles, B) go tell the lady behind the counter that their bathroom just freaked out all by itself, or C) cram your mouth full of food and keep your head down.

My answer: While C would surely have been the way to go, I went with B after Mandy heard the blabber mouth tell the hole place anyway.

4) Fourth and final question. In the past month your child has punched his best friend who happens to be a girl in the neck, claimed no responsibility when an apparently rabid hand puppet went berserk on his baby brother, told this year's church "Santa" that he sees through his disguise, and used his doodle to hold a DVD so his hands would be free to do other things like fly through the air pretending to be naked Superman. Your reaction is to A) curl up in the fetal position and cry because you know you have been defeated by a 4 yr-old, B) turn your attention to the baby in hopes of making right what once went wrong, or C) take off your kryptonite belt and give DJ Tallywhacker a list of your demands.

My Answer: While all have their pro's and con's, I can't help but remember a story someone told me recently that has caused me to just let some things go. It appears that the elderly gentleman that greets everyone at church with a handshake Tommy Lane recently paid a visit to Adam's school. Passing him, Adam had the look on his face that he knew he had seen this person several times before but couldn't remember where. Then as he put it together, Adam stuck out his hand and gave Tommy a great big shake....which caught the attention of all the other kids in class who in turn did the same thing. Something that both Tommy and myself will always remember.

It's The Great Goose Egg Charlie Brown!

Halloween is really starting to look like it's not going to happen this year, at least not for the Blockhead crew. Adam has been showing more than normal signs of a cold (some of you may remember he just got away from having to take breathing treatments regularly the first part of this year), Alex seems have some type of fever virus and spiked at 103.7, Mandy is right behind the baby at 100.7, and me....I'm facing the possibility of having to make the decision as to whether or not to dress a sick 4 yr old in a dinosaur costume and drag him from house to house just so we can say we went Trick-or-Treating this year.

Every parent will tell you that it's those days right before a major holiday that are the most crucial in terms of keeping the family healthy. Months of sneaking from store to store picking out the perfect gifts from "Santa" can all be flushed down the drain thanks to a case of the flu or a stomach virus. Our worst Thanksgiving involved Nani, Brock, Brooke, and me sitting down to a dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, mac n' cheese, and Mandy stuck in the bedroom puking her guts out from a dose of morphine she had gotten while having kidney stones taken out the day before.

All the cranberry sauce, presents, and candy in the world can't stop a kidney stone or stomach virus and if it's happening to you, you'd gladly trade it all till next year for a moment of sweet relief.

The Trouble With Girls

Adam...I can't even believe I am writing this....Adam is in his first love triangle. I say it's his first because after what I saw today, it doesn't look to be his last. I was never the love triangle type. My first crush was on Firestarter and her Amazing Friends. It may have been because of this obsession with all things comic book related that kept me out of love triangles or out of love straight lines for that matter. There were a few girls, but they were never right for me (code for they all dumped me). Thank goodness I somehow managed to win Mandy over. If she were to ever leave me I have no doubt I'd revert back to my old ways and become the comic book guy from the Simpsons.

Adam's love triangle between Allie and Sarah Kate spilled into a major fight last Friday. It eventually lead to some major embarrassment, a bloodied nose, and an attempt to cover one's tracks. When parents tell their kids that the punishment they are about to receive will hurt them as much as its hurts the child they are telling the truth. It might be a busted wrist from spanking without a belt, a headache from hearing "Can I leave my room now!!" 500 times, or in our case a weekend of partying with our friends flushed down the drain.

This morning I thought the triangle had reached some sort of peace, but now I'm not so sure. Danielle ran all the way down the hall just to give Adam a hug. This was followed by Madeline's proclamation to her dad that she was going to marry Adam someday. It turns out that the triangle is really a polygon.

Gone In 60 Seconds

It's amazing how fast things change. This past week after days of having it rumored to have occurred by Adam and myself, Alex finally said Mama in front of Mandy. There was some debate about what Adam's first word was (it may have been Hey, but we are saying it's Dada), but with Alex it's clear as a bell.

Saturday night gave us another example of how fast things can change and how when it comes to kids, life can turn in and out of chaos in a matter of seconds. Here is a timeline of what went down in about a 60 seconds:

• Alex, Adam and I are playing in the bed.
• Mandy leaves the room, goes outside, and opens up the trunk of the car
• Adam starts laughing and playing with Alex, rolls off the bed, hits his head on the corner of the nightstand
• I see Adam out of the corner of my eye (the Auburn game was on and my attention was torn) and lunge for his hand seconds too late
• Adam is crying like crazy and grabbing his ear. His eyes are tightly shut as the pain has clearly racked his brain.
• He goes to open his eyes and them WHAM! The entire house goes dark.
• Adam immediately screams as if Jack The Ripper just entered the room!
• "I can't see!!!" thinking that the hit on his head has caused blindness, Adam looses control and freaks out.
• I start trying to figure out how I'm going to find a flashlight while I'm laying halfway across the bed holding Adam with one arm and trying to make sure Alex stays put with whatever else I got
• I scream for Mandy.
• She closes the trunk, the exact second the lights kick on. Mandy never knowing the power went out, hears us all screaming, and comes down the hall.
• She finds Alex laughing it up, Adam blinking his eyes like he's thankful to have his vision magically restored, he's holding his ear like his brains are about to come out, and I've got this look on my face like "Did that just really happen?"

Adventures Of Peter Porker

Now that I've turned 35 I'm really starting to look at myself in the mirror and see the toll that an exercise free lifestyle has taken on my body. Not that I haven't been overweight for some time, it's just that recently it has dawned on me just how much my over grown stomach has turned into an extra appendage as if it were another arm or leg. I'm not going to give you my current weight but back when I weighed 150 I would never sit around slurping an icee through a straw from a drink that was resting on my stomach. Not because that's the epitome of laziness, but more so because I had no stomach to sit it on. It's very cool...it just wasn't possible back then.

I don't sleep on my back because it's comfortable, I do it because sleeping on my stomach is like sleeping on medicine ball. People think that I carry Alex around front facing because he "likes seeing the world", but that's just a lie I use to cover up the fact that I'm using my stomach as a seat. He's essentially riding my stomach all around the building. When Adam comes charging at me like a football player head tucked shoulder out, my best defense is just stick out the belly and watch him bounce off. I start meals seated really close to the edge of the table, I know it's time to stop eating when my stomach begins to push me back a little bit. My belt has 3 buckle holes: Before lunch, after lunch, and these pants are cutting off my circulation.

The Career Proximity Theory

I'm starting to develope this theory that the closer you live to your place of employment, the more times you are late during the course of a week. People that live 30 minutes away are always on time because they have to worry about traffic, wreaks, bad weather, etc...me I live 3 minutes away. Now that should mean I am the first one walking in the door everyday, but what it really means is that I can leave my house at 8 and get to the office at 8:03.

Lunch breaks are the worst as there is never enough time to do the million things I always seem to try and cram into that one hour period. I mean I consider myself a smart guy so why can I not figure out how many minutes are actually in an hour. Yet everyday there I am trying to write a post, watch some show from the night before, check facebook, check my 3 email accounts (one for home, one for freelance work, and one for junk mail), and play with Alex for 5 minutes.

Facebook Killed The Blog Star

The worst part about writing a blog on a weekly basis is the guilt that comes from ignoring it. The main reason I ignore it isn't so much that I'm writing 6 other articles a week that actually pay me something, but that Facebook doesn't require me to finish a thought. Here whenever I have an idea I have to think it out, turn it around in my head a few times, and edit, edit, edit. On Facebook I can say things like " I wish everything had bungee cord attached to it" and leave it at that. On Charlie that sentence would lead to a list of all things I want bungee cord on like the remote, utensils, the laptop....not that I haven't thought about it, but it's not something I'm ready to commit to in writing.

So for those of you out there who keep asking where I'm at, I'm still here and I'm going to keep posting. The posts may just take on a smaller format.

Driving Through Rainbows

The only downside to my freelance writing schedule picking up is that it severely limits the time I have for Charlie. I feel like I'm in a confessional booth every time I start to write a post here. "Dear Father forgive me. It's been 30 days since my last post."

Today Adam started his new class at The Hill. What makes this particular new class so special is that it will be his last new class before he starts kindergarten next year. When Adam was 8 weeks old we walked him through those large double doors, turned left, and walked the long hall to his first class room. Today we turned right and completed the route on the opposite side of the building. I can't help but be a little teary eyed as I think about this. I quizzed him all night about how his day went only to get the usual "no trouble!" He thinks that's all we are looking for when we ask him how his day went, but it would be nice to hear that he actually learned something. Which I'm sure he did, but in his mind all that matters is staying out of trouble so he can play when he gets home.

As for Alex his first day will have to wait a little bit longer since Mandy was able to stay part-time for the rest of the year. Sometimes money isn't the most important thing in the world and neither of us is ready for these days of having the kids home all day to pass just yet. We've been to two funerals too many the past month and are still adjusting to the shock of losing a close friend that seemed larger than life. I think of Sammy Mann at least two-three times a day. I wish there was something I could do to fill the hole he left in so many lives....

Our usual July 4th tradition is to drive south to see my Granny Beck as well as my dad and others. This year as we were going through Tuscaloosa we spotted a rainbow. As it got closer I remember we started making jokes about where it stopped and telling Adam of how at the end a pot of gold awaited for those that arrived there first. Believe it or not as we rounded the turn there it was. The most amazing reds, greens, yellows, and oranges all ending right in the center of the road....and we drove straight through it. For a split second we were actually inside a rainbow.

With each passing day I watch how big the boys are getting. I sit at my desk staring at the clock thinking of things that we can do when I get home. At night Mandy and I watch movies and laugh about the kids. Not a week goes by where we don't have dinner with friends, or go see a parade, or visit some local park. Things are not perfect, I think I've learned that they never will be. Everyone has stumbling blocks, issues they have to deal with, and challenges they must face.

I told a pilot friend of mine about driving through the rainbow and he told me that what happened to me wasn't possible because rainbows never actually touch the ground. I don't think I believe this. Tonight Adam came home and put together a puzzle in the floor with Mo. Mandy and I took turns tickling Alex. After dinner we all watched Scooby Doo....everywhere I look I still see those colors shining all around and I wonder....maybe we did find that pot of gold.

The Rules Of The Game

Now that we are nearly 4 months into this multiple child parenting thing, the rules have changed as well as the games we play with one another. The best example of this is that in terms of defense we no longer get to play zone. With one child defense is easy, you stay on one end of the room while your spouse stays on the other. If the ball...I mean the child tries to escape or stick a fork in his eye on my end of the room he's mine, if he's on your end it's up to you to kick him back into the middle of the playing field. I use the term defense because it's a child's job to constantly attack your central nervous system especially if he is a 4 yr-old Dennis The Menace. When dealing with two kids the game plan is more man-on-man. "I'll change the baby's diaper while you stop that one from running out the front door and flagging down the ice-cream man." "If you could feed this baby, I'll go give the other one a bath." What makes this defense so great is that the second you get fed up with one child you can tag out in hopes of being put in charge of somebody you may actually be able to control.

Another game we like to play is Copy Cat. We copy what Mommy says, what Daddy says, what the TV says, what the radio says. We really like to copy those things that are sure to get a reaction out of people. Curse words we don't know the meaning to. Lady Gaga songs Daddy isn't aloud to listen to anymore when the kids are in the car. Cartoons that although come on the Disney channel don't always use G-rated words. We like to stand behind people and copy every word they say until they get mad and then we like so say stuff like "Are you going to pop me?"

Which brings me to our second favorite game....the guilt trip game. "I promise I want to be a good boy Mommy. I just don't know how. Sniff Sniff Whimper Whimper" "I just don't know how to listen Daddy. I promise I try, but I'm no good at it. I love you Daddy"

We also like to play 20 Questions. This by far is our most popular game and the one we are the most good at, but in our house the parents play by one set of rules and the kids play by another. For those under 5 the game goes like this: "How come we can smell the food outside the restaurant?" "Because it has a chimney" "Why is our house a road and not grass?" "That's not a road that's the front walk. It leads to the front door" "What are we doing next?" "Going to bed!!". The parents play by a more frustrating set of rules "Adam can you go put your pajamas on?" "Adam please go get your pajamas on" "Adam did you hear what I said?" "Adam why are you playing ball and not putting your pajamas on?" "Adam do you want me to take all your toys away?" "Adam answer me when I'm talking to you!"

The one game we have no concept of....you guessed it. Quiet Mouse.

I Promise Not To Cry

Daddy do you have to work today?
Yes I do baby. I'm sorry.
But why?
Because we need money so we can do stuff. Please don't cry.
But I don't want you to go to work today Daddy.
I know, but you are going swimming at Nani's. That will be fun.
Okay Daddy. I promise not cry when you leave for work.
That's my good boy.
And when we go to Nani's I won't cry either.
Cause you're a big boy.
And when we leave Nani's house I won't cry for you then either.
Thank you. Give me a kiss and hug. I love you Adam (silently to myself I promise not to cry either).

Grandma's Fridge

Adam came home last week after visiting Mimi's house and after a few hours developed a bit of a belly ache. I asked what he ate and got a list of items that included an oatmeal cream pie, marshmallows, a piece of chicken, a couple glasses of tea, a handful of grapes, and a bite of an ice-cream sandwich. I felt bad for him, but I couldn't help but laugh cause I know from experience that even the most mundane of foods tastes better when it comes from Grandma's fridge.

Leftover pork chops, hamburgers, macaroni n' cheese, cold spaghetti....Grandma's fridge was practically a buffet of all my favorite foods. Like some kind of treasure just waiting for me to come over and discover. She never got upset. She never told me I couldn't eat something (unless of course it was Grandpa's dinner). She simply asked that we eat all we get and not throw anything away...and even then she tended to look the other way when our eyes got to big for our belly's. Once she let me put salt in my cheerios because I insisted that's how we ate it at home and then looked at her like she was crazy for suggesting that maybe I was thinking about sugar. I managed to choke down half before I admitted my blunder.

Oh and the sweet tea! Not just any sweet tea, but the tea from her glass. That glass she made just for herself in those narrow tall pastel colored plastic cups. I don't why but that was the best tea I've ever had. To this day I'm not sure that she did anything other than pour it from that big glass jar with the screw on metal lid straight into her own cup. Every time I saw she had a glass I'd steal it and she'd just smile and laugh. To this day when Adam sees me drinking sweet tea and asks for a drink I tell him he can have as much as he wants. As he gulps it down I remember that taste and all those days spent raiding my Grandma's kitchen.

Now when I go over there everything is salt free, cholesterol free, and taste free....or maybe it was always that way and I'm the one that has changed. I wonder if she would still laugh if I suddenly showed up and drank that glass of tea she just sat down to enjoy.

Morning Glory's

Now that there are four of us waking up on the weekends is always an interesting slice of life. For one thing the same people that have to be yanked out of bed by their toes Monday-Friday seem to come alive at the crack of dawn on Saturday. I'm speaking of course about Adam. I'm the oposite. Alert by 6:15 during the week and still walking around like a zombie at 10:00 a.m Saturday. Now that Alex has come along, mornings around the house tend to fall into three varieties.

1)The sun is barely peaking through the blinds, the birds are chirping, a feeling of quiet calm covers me like a blanket. I resist opening my eyes for as long as I can, but eventually I take a peek to see what time it is....wow 9:00 a.m. Adam must have fallen out of bed and knocked himself unconcious or has run away from home....either way it looks like Alex and Mandy are still sleeping too. So I just lay there and enjoy the silence as long as I can.

2)The sound of something crashing to the ground jolts me out of a deep sleep. As I open my eyes I halfway expect there to be pieces of airplane wreakage laying around me as if I've woken up on LOST beach. Suddenly Adam yells I DON"T WANT TO CLEAN MY ROOM! I'M HUNGRY! The island is angry this morning. Mandy runs into the room with Alex screaming his head off. "Alex needs to changed, I'm about to beat Adam within an inch of his life if he does not quit whining, the kitchen is a mess, my mom is bringing breakfast, and I've have got to go the bathroom. Take the baby." Things are happening all around me too fast for me to even register them. The phone begins ringing. Baby in my arms I manage to make it before the machine kicks on. The doorbell rings. "Hey mom, Gigi is at the door with breakfast, I have no idea what we are doing today. I just remembered who I was. Got another call, Hi Granny" Can't go the door cause I'm in my underwear. Adam takes off running for the door, but it's locked so he starts yelling at her through the door "I CAN'T OPEN IT GIGI! DID YOU BRING ME A CHICKEN BISCUIT?" I put the baby down, he starts whaling again, I drop the phone, grab some shorts, a shirt, all the while trying to remember where I left my keys so I can unlock the deadbolt, trip over the cat on the way down the hall barely stopping myself and Alex from rolling through the house. The day never stops from there.

3)I hear a pounding sound coming from the other side of the wall. Adam is up and going through his closet for some reason. Good he's letting us sleep and playing in his room. He comes in a few minutes later. 'Can I wear this?" Without looking I say yes. Honestly I have no idea what time it is or what he's holding up, but sleep is my only priority. He returns moments later "Can I lay on you?" I say yes, get a few jabs in my ribs as he climbs up, but I think it's sweet he wants some attention. Plus I might actually get to go back to sleep. Alex is between Mandy and I so I put my arm around Adam so he doesn't roll over on him. That's when I get the finger in my ear. Laughing hysterically Adam has decided wrestling is more fun than sleeping. I go to swat him off and he almost falls on Alex. I catch him and get another finger in my ear. My child is kicking my A@# and there is nothing I can do about it. I plead to Mandy "Adam won't quit picking on me." Without opening an eye she whispers "Boys go play in the other room we are still trying to sleep".....looks like us boys will have to find breakfast ourselves.

Attack Of The Monster Possa!

Up until a few weeks ago the closest I had ever been to a possum (other than running one over with my car) was staring out across the yard late one night at the Garfield house. At the time I swore I had scene an armadillo. That changed a couple weeks back around midnight as I stepped out onto the back porch and landed about 5 feet away from one. Shrieking like a little girl I let out an expletive and ran inside deciding immediately that the trash could wait until the possum free morning came.

Always one to have my back Mandy "encouraged" me to finish the task of taking out the trash knowing what lurked just out of sight. I banged and clanged my way to the trash making as much noise as possible in order to scare the beast away. This seemed to work except that in my haste to get outside and back I closed Buttons between the wood and screen doors. Once this was discovered yet another expletive was heard echoing through the neighborhood that night.

I quickly learned my lesson though. Don't go outside after dark and I won't have to face the giant possum (or possa as Adam calls it). Then last week at 5:30 in broad daylight as I was staring out the kitchen window the Monster Possa proved that I had more to fear than a late night stroll around the backyard. There it was just walking through the yard in broad daylight like a cat or dog except twice as big and with many many more teeth. Afraid to go outside at any time of day or night for fear the giant possa will attack at a moments notice I am have become the caged animal. Trapped in my own home scanning the terrain with every step. Fearing the MONSTER POSSA!!

Weekly Round Up 5/06/10

Now that I've got a blogging job again, I'm posting 3 days a week and it's causing me to back up a little here at Charlie. I'm going to try to at least do a quick rundown once a week just so I don't get too far behind on what's going on.

First of all as I've mention I'm a Blogger For Hire once again!!!! Check me out 3 x's a week at The Godfrey Group blog. It's all about trade shows and marketing tips. Godfrey makes custom banners, kiosks, and booths. Show me some support and click over there.

Next up I promised Jim I'd drop a line or two about the Modern Media Man (M3M) Summit coming up in Sept in Atlanta. I get a lot of daddy bloggers looking at my sight and this may be right up their alley. According the site: The Modern Media Man Summit will provide dads and men bloggers around the world the opportunity to gather in Atlanta September, 9-11, 2010 to attend an important conference featuring the latest in social media: blogging, podcasting and vlogging, while also harnessing the excitement and electricity of the Internet’s latest buzz.There are dozens of renowned conferences held annually throughout the world for bloggers, but what none of them have created is a place to gather the new modern media men, specifically, the daddy bloggers, whose influence is fast increasing in the contemporary online space. The M3 Summit’s goal is to bring together brands, bloggers, and some of the brightest minds in the industry to experience, teach and talk about how the role of Modern Media Man is changing. We know the time, location and topics of focus– educational, personal and business tracks–all will work together to generate the perfect storm in the blogosphere. This is the best opportunity of the year for men and daddy bloggers, whether they’re stay at home dads, work at home dads, business professionals, the lone entrepreneur, marketer, advertiser and public relations professional to gather in one spot and plot a new course toward progress. This also will be the best event of the year for brands and marketing professionals to reach out and make the new connections that will help further change the face of traditional blogging and social media. Today’s Modern Media Man now is a domestic engineer. He cooks, cleans and often times stays home while the woman of the home goes off to the traditional office job. Men do an increased level of the family shopping, are taking an increasing role in rearing the children and are creating a new definition of what happens in a home. The M3 Summit will be held in the heart of Atlanta in the Omni CNN Center. You don’t want to miss this opportunity to become an important change agent in a world that’s fast changing. Make your plans now to be a part of the first M3 Summit in September 2010, and be a part in defining the new Modern Media Man.

We actually had to spank Adam with a belt this week 3 times. Twice in the same night! He just can't stop jumping on the Henson's guest bed.

Alex went to the Dr today and weights 12 lbs with a length of 24". They tested for jaundice for the like the fourth time because of his color. He had to have 3 shots plus drink some nasty looking syrup. I can't blame him for sleeping the rest of the afternoon with all the trauma he had to endure.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

I'd like to think that the reason the band was playing the classic song by Poison was out of tribute to the bands lead singer Bret Michaels who is currently in the hospital with a brain hemorrhage. Then again they could have just been oblivious to this and played it because it was a wedding and that's the kinda song people expect to hear. Either way it seemed to be the perfect theme to what Mandy and I had been going through the past several weeks. After 12 years together it's reasonable to expect there to be a few thorns here or there, but lately I think we have both felt bruised and battered by our relationship. It didn't have everything to do with the kids or how tired we both were or work stress that seems to be ever present. Money is always a touchy subject but even that doesn't feel like the reason why our connection to one another seems to have short circuited lately.

It was Mo's wedding and things were a little more chaotic than your average wedding. The blessed event was to take place outside and even though the weatherman said there was a 100% chance of severe weather (the typical stuff like hail, tornadoes, wind, rain, lightning, you know...all that end of the world stuff) the groom said during the rehearsal dinner "Come hail or high water, we will be getting married outside tomorrow so you may as well come and watch" Adam was the ring barer, Mandy was a bridesmaid, and Alex was a special attendant....regardless of how badly we were getting along I was expected to make like the happy husband support everyone the best I knew how.

The bridesmaids showed up in rain boots and just when all was lost the sky's parted and the sun came out. It was the perfect weather for a perfect day. Adam rocketed down the isle and spent the wedding trying to knock the arch full of flowers on top of the entire wedding party. When that didn't work he ran through the crowd to sit in my lap....for about 30 seconds. He got back in position just in time for the grooms brother (who at this point had given up on any sense of a traditional wedding taking place) to pick Adam up and hold him upside down as the happy couple kissed for the firs time as man and wife. Later on as the happy couple ran down the isle towards the limo through a see of people holding sparklers, Adam thrust his flaming wand of fire into the groom. Mandy spun him around and he rested it on Steve's leg who stood there having no idea he had just lost his tuxedo deposit.

After all the pictures and polite conversations, there Mandy and I stood together still feeling alone after weeks of peeking up from our respective trenches to take shots at one another before buring ourselves in the dirt again. I forget what brought it on, but the ice melted with a laugh....and then a smile...and then as if upon request the band played the song that led to the dance that helped us find the rose we had been desperately searching for all these weeks. We had finally made our way through the thorns and to the rose in the center of it all. Aren't weddings amazing.....

P.S. Special thanks to the Nani for adopting Alex for the day.

100 MPH With My Hair On Fire

I stole today's title from Jim Turner. I committed the crime because it is exactly how I've been feeling lately. Ever since Alex has been born life is flying by faster than I can blog about. The only way I am going to catch up is to give a quick recap of recent events.

• Adam had two birthday parties this year. One on his actual birthday March 20th for family and the other on April 10th for friends. The second was at Chuckie Cheese. Surprisingly enough it was actually cheaper than us getting all the decorations and finding a place. The only thing that confused the stew out of me is Adam's fear of Chuckie. Had it been anybody else's party he would have been all over that mouse, but his own and suddenly he's scared to death. Just don't get it.


• Another thing I don't get is taxes. I heard today that something like 20 years ago only 10-15% of people didn't pay taxes. Now that number is up to around 45%!! I don't know about you, but I'm tired of paying my fair share and everyone else's too. Feeling punished because I have a good job and work hard.


• Speaking of jobs I got a new writing gig this week. I was offered one about solar panels, but turned it down after the contract didn't go the way I needed it to. It was during that conversation that I was offered another for a company that sales trade show displays. Will link to it once all the loose ends are tied up.


• The baby is great by the way. Sleeps about 6 hours a night. Doesn't cry too much. The only thing that has us stumped is that we can't seem to find his thing. You know that thing that no matter what is happening manages to calm him down. With Adam it was all about bouncing on my knee and singing. We've tried bouncing, swinging, rocking, singing, patting, petting, riding, and walking....still nothing except of course eating which he must come by naturally because it's all I want to do too.


• Every time the baby starts to cry Adam hollers at us like a tornado has just landed down the street. This is nuts considering the baby is never more than 5 feet away from Mandy or I at all times. "MOMMY THE BABY IS CRYING!!!" "I can see that Adam. He's sitting in my lap."


• Alex tends to wake up at 5 and I've been saying for years that I need to be getting up at that time to go to the gym (which I have a free membership to). Still every morning I wake up get Mandy and Alex settled and I'm off to sleep for another hour and a half. Then I stare out the window all day long promising tomorrow will be different.


• We have spent too much money on Adam. His movies fell over last week and it sounded like the city library collapsed. I think we have gone too far. Considering selling some of his stuff on Ebay so we can buy more stuff so we can sell it someday.


• Watching Adam blowing dandelions and making wishes has got to be the cutest thing in the world other than Alex holding my hand.


• Work....well let's just say there are issues and I'm looking to better myself. I was always told nobody could blame you for trying to make life better as long as you are respectful of where you are now.


• We are currently working to expand Adam's horizons. Gigi took him to see Mickey Mouse and friends in Hunstville a couple weeks back (don't ask him about it unless you wanna see how Woody did his lasso and possibly see Adam take off across the room like a helicopter). I've taken him fishing twice in the past month. Mandy is teaching him to wash clothes and dishes. Tonight he helped me cook dinner. It's too easy to simply sit your kid in front of the TV and let him veg. Gotta pull out the flash cards and teach him some stuff.


• I absolutely love my iPod. May sell my soul for an iPad someday soon. Need to find away to make some iMoney so I can afford some more iTech. iCarumba!

Can You Pass The Screening Process?

This hopefully won't come off as being too snobby, but if you really think that I believe my daycare is run by a bunch of Socialists than no doubt your opinion of me will worsen this week. We are thankfully to the point in our new journey with Baby Alex where we can begin to become functioning members of society once again. Last Friday we hit up a local T-ball game, went to Church Sunday, and will be going to the big C this Saturday morning. With this new found freedom comes a very intense, sometimes disappointing decision making process that could (and probably has) left some with hurt feelings. What I'm trying to say is that in order for someone to get close enough to hold or touch Lex they must pass a screening process.

Not a full blown physical mind you, but for all that would like to touch, hold, or coo in our baby's face you need to be aware that before the opportunity arises you are being scrutinized for signs of infection. Sorta like the image you see when you are watching a movie and they change things up by giving you the robots perspective. We are RoboCop-ing you. Now we are not going to jump the gun so don't be afraid to approach. We love our friends and family dearly and in no way want to shun anyone....however if you sniff too much we hear you....cough too much we step back from you...if you talk about having to miss work because your child had a fever we fear you.

We will be subtle if we can. We will be intentionally vague about our plans to attend an event before hand as we sort out the guest list and their recent medical historys. We will do our best not to be rude, but we will be RoboCop-ing you.

The Socialism Of Bunny Foo Foo

Easter is a time of rebirth, renewal, rejoicing. Spring is in the air. The flowers are in bloom. The sound of lawnmowers getting back to work fill up neighborhoods all over the country. Is there a better time of the year to teach kids about Socialism? You know what Socialism is right? As one dictionary puts it Socialism is "an economic theory or system in which the means of production, distribution, and exchange are owned by the community collectively, usually through the state. It is characterized by production for use rather than profit, by equality of individual wealth, by the absence of competitive economic activity, and, usually, by government determination of investment, prices, and production levels" Now of course I don't believe that this theory is what will keep America the awesome country it is for years to come, but I do fear that regardless of what I want our kids could already be learning the so called values of Socialism if others get their way. This brings me to today's Easter Egg hunt.

What could be wrong with an Easter Egg hunt right? Eggs are brought, eggs are hidden, a dozen or so kids are let loose to charge through the playground looking for eggs, everyone gets ice-cream afterward . Super fun!! Well....sorta. First off each kid is asked to bring 6 eggs with a prize inside. Second they don't just hide the eggs, pull the trigger, and let the kids have a good time, first comes the lecture. You see everything needs to be done fairly so that nobody gets their feelings hurt once the dust settles. So the lecture goes "Now remember boys and girls everyone wants to have a good time finding eggs. Right? Right, so it's important we don't hurt anyone's feelings. What we are going to do is go out and find all the hidden eggs. Some of us may end up with more eggs than others. If you don't find a lot of eggs don't be sad it will be okay. If you find a whole bunch of eggs remember how fun it is to share. Once all the eggs are found we will count up each basket and make sure that everyone comes back in with 6 eggs. Then we can get the candy inside. Won't that be fun?"

To a 4 yr-old who is already hyped up on chicken nuggets and Kool-aid, this does sound like fun because though the lecture lasted 2 minutes they only heard four words...find eggs get candy. It's true. I was standing there and saw it on his face. He was dreaming of plastic eggs filled with Skittles. Thankfully I didn't have the heart to tell him that since they were going to be spreading the wealth once the hunt was over anyway, he may as well enjoy his time more productively by doing something like say sleeping off all the nuggets he just inhaled. Better yet put the bucket down, go to the potty, grab a cool sip of water, and get in line for your six eggs once everyone has done all the hard work for you. I mean either way he's still got a handfull of Skittles at the end of the hunt. At least my way he's not so busy gasping for air from all that running that he can't enjoy them right away.

I can say all of this now that the hunt is over because my child found about double his limit and not the other way around. Then again I would hope that had his basket yielded zero eggs I would be adult enough to teach him that the way things are supposed to work is that nobody gets anything for free. Only through hard work and determination can you actually achieve your dreams. By simply waiting around for someone to give you your share of the eggs not only do you not appreciate what you get, but your dreams will all ways be that....pretty clouds floating just out of reach. This is the way that things are supposed to work....yet tomorrow is pay day and for some reason somebody named FICA needs my money more than I do.

The Clothes Make The Man

I started back to work today and honestly besides of course missing the family like crazy, the hardest part of the day was having to wear a buttoned up shirt and khakis. Corporate America is really laking in terms of what is considered business casual. Am I the only one that looks in their kids closest and wishes they could rock out with a red guitar blaze'n long sleeve T-shirt with the words Guitar Hero plastered all over the front in bright silver letters? Maybe show up at my cube tomorrow kick'n an old school Alvin N The Chipmunks T.

Even my kids shoes are cooler than anything I got. I'm not even talking about Adam's yellow feathered Big Bird sneakers, Alex right now has on this monkey footed thing that I would love to chill out in while working spreadsheets. Today wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't easy either. When I came home for lunch and picked up my brand new baby Alex. He was all cuddly and sleepy snugly. I looked down at him there in my arms wearing this tiny little gown and there in the middle next to a teddy bear button where the words "I need a hug"....I couldn't help but think that's exactly what I wished my shirt said today too.

Pardon My Memory Loss

We have been home just a few days now and I have quickly realized that I completely glamorized what it's like having a baby at home. Months before Alex got here all I kept talking about was how I didn't mind waking up in the middle of the night. That baby's diapers don't smell that bad. That this baby thing was a breeze. Well clearly I was suffering from post traumatic sleep disorder, because getting up at 2 again at 4 and again at 6 is killing me. First off I'm going back to work on Monday and this new sleep pattern is really going to make for an interesting day as I stare at a computer for 8hrs. Second my memory is horrible. Yesterday Mandy sent me to the bank to make a deposit. She clipped a note to the slip and when I passed it on to the teller I started getting all these crazy looks. I think I even got a giggle or two. The lady behind the window very politely explained "I think this note was meant for you." As I read it I remembered moments earlier Mandy telling me the message was for me "I love you sweetie. Hurry home!!"

I think where I went wrong was remembering what it was like having a 6 month old. They coo, they giggle, they play with the hundreds of tiny toys you wave in their face. What I have is a 6 day old who sleeps, eats, poops, pees, opens his eyes for 5 seconds and starts the cycle all over again every two hours. Even Adam who is clearly confused about what all the fuss has been about is looking at me like I'm insane for talking up all that good times that were yet to be had the moment the baby was born. I think we both thought he would jump from Mandy's womb with a baseball bat in hand and point his finger towards the right field fence. Thankfully Mandy is in complete control over what, when, and how things are progressing sorta like a warden at a mental hospital.

Home Again

We made it home yesterday after being at the hospital for only a few days. All that went wrong when Adam was born went right with Alex. No yellow tint, no time under oxygen, and Mandy's hernia surgery went well too. Adam who has been spending the last few days being bounced between Gigi, Nani, and Mo couldn't wait to have everyone home and just loves to watch Baby Alex. The next few days will be spent getting some type of schedule worked out. Obviously things are a little out of whack at the moment. Alex didn't go to sleep until 4 a.m., but thankfully Adam let us sleep until 8, so we are feeling rested enough to make complete sentences. Today we are going to focus on getting Alex used to his crib and Adam getting used to being quiet.

I need to say thank you to all those who sent card, flowers, balloons, letters, comments, and are bringing us dinner each night this week. Each of you hold a special place in our hearts.

In The Zero Hour...

We are just a few hours away from Baby Alex making his grand appearance and life is as chaotic as it gets. After getting to work an hour early, taking Mandy to the Doc, scrambling to get everything done by 5 o'clock, running to two banks, the post office, the gas station, grabbing dinner, packing 3 bags, calling all the grandparents, giving Adam a bath, making sure all is packed and ready to go.....I'm seriously wondering how I'm going to do all of this and take care of a baby.

We are scheduled to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning which means the alarm will probably need to be set for 3:30....it's 9 now which still gives me 6 hrs of sleep if I was to suddenly get knocked over the head and pass out within the next few minutes. Barring that I think we will be doing good to hit the hay by 11. Adam keeps pretending to be a baby and wanted to be rocked earlier tonight. I really wonder how he is going to handle his new role.

Wish us luck, pray for our health and quick return home, and I will post pics as soon as I can.

In One Day....

One day and some odd hours left and the nerves are in full force. This week has flown by, but I just know tomorrow will go at a snails crawl. I need to say though (and I know I mentioned it the other day, but I'm going to again) after just walking in from Church, putting Adam to bed, and coming to the computer....I really have best Church family anybody could ask for. All night we were blessed with prayers, well wishes, and wonderful gifts from some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. I know we are closer to some than others, but my heart goes out to everyone tonight who attended this evening service. No matter what happens this week, next month, or years down the road Mandy and I will never forget your love and support.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is our last day as a family of three. In some ways it's kinda sad. Not because I'd don't want Alex to come, but because the dynamic is changing and I don't want Adam to feel like he's going to get lost in the mix. I love both my boys like crazy and I look forward to all the days ahead, but at the same time similar to what I went through before Adam came bringing with him an end to our days as simply a married couple change is a very scary thing.

I remember all the worry that Adam brought with him. The endless waking up to make sure he's just sleeping soundly and not something else. Then worrying when he does wake up crying. Trying like crazy to keep him healthy, but also making sure he's not being so guarded that he's not being able to experience life. What does this cry mean? Why is he doing that? Should I really be letting that person hold him? It all starts again this Friday....and even after all the worry and woe....I'm so excited I can't see straight.

In Two Days.....

Only have time for a quick note. Too much fun was had at the weekly Idol party and it's way late. With only two days left after tonight everyone is on edge with anticipation for the big event. In the morning I'm taking Buttons in for a bath, a nail clip, and good brushing. He hates the cat crate so I'm counting on having a fight on my hands. Wednesdays are the longest day of the week because we all go to work/school then head straight to church for dinner before services. Several have asked if we mind them coming early Friday to be with the family. I say the more the merrier. Nerves are starting to kick in. Please pray with us that momma and baby all make it through without a hitch.

In Three Days....

You know I talk a lot about any and everything that goes on in my life, but what I don't talk enough about though is the person that has shared this adventure with me from the very beginning. I would even go as far as saying that without her there would be no adventure. Of course I am talking about my partner in life the beautiful Mandy. Like most guys I often get caught up in making fun of our wives, but honestly I somehow got extremely lucky the day she agreed to marry me.

People always say that working from home would be their dream come true, but what they don't realize is that when you work from home you never get a chance to leave the office behind. For the past 9 months Mandy hasn't missed a day even while dealing with swollen feet, a baby inside her having hiccups at all hours of the night, and a hernia. Through all of this she continues to amaze me by getting up every morning, grabbing a seat behind her desk, and putting in a full days work. Plus every other day she somehow manages to keep an eye on Adam while never missing a beat. If it were me and something was crawling around inside me for 9 months I would have committed myself to never leaving the couch soon after the 3rd week.

Here we are with only 3 days to go and she's still helping me get Adam ready for school in the morning, going grocery shopping with me in the evening, and staying up all night trying to plan a birthday party. Me I get to go to work all day and shrug off any of the days misfortune by simply getting up from my desk and walking away. With very few complaints she does all of this and the finances too. I love you sweetie....

In Four Days....

For about $250 an hour while laying on a comfortable leather couch that more than likely costs more then I made all of last year, I'm sure a Psychologist would say that what I am experiencing now is a physical expression of what I am going though emotionally. That this cough that I am finally going to see the Dr. about in the morning is more of a state of mind problem than simply a case of bad timing and the early signs of bronchitis. For the moment I'm fine with just chalking it up to bad luck similar to the kind I have every year when I catch poison ivy just days before seeing my dad during the 4th of July. Furthermore it's just coincidence that I also had to make an unexpected trip to the Dr. for the exact same thing the week Adam was born. At this point though whether it be mental or physical I've got to shake this hacking cough and I've only got four days left to do it. When it first raised it's evil head I just blamed the harsh winter and started medicating myself with whatever prescription and over the counter medicine I could get my hands on....that was two months ago and obviously my way didn't work.

Spent the day working on all the electronics we will be taking. Charged the video camera, put extra batteries in by camera bags, emptied all the memory cards (should have about 6-8 gigs of photo storage space), and even got Adams camera ready for him so he could show what life looks like through his waist high perspective.

Only 3 days left and I think I figured out what I'm going to wear. Adam started telling people he was bringing Baby Alex to church next week. The installed car seats remind me that life will never be the same.

In Five Days.....

Put some last minute touches on the room today, but mainly tried to spend as much time with Adam outside as we could. It seems I may have more work cut out for me than I originally considered. All day my little boy has been proving how smart he is and trying to weasel his way to Chuckie Cheese. For example from the backseat of the car this afternoon he yelled "No thank you I just ate!" when the lady asked to take our order. Another occurred as I finished a much delayed item on my Honey-Do list by painting the bathroom cabinet. Adam walked in and started crying cause he thought I was about to paint the rest of the house next including his blue room. The best though happened during a call to the Nani after he finally fessed up to being told that he would get to go to Chuckie Cheese this weekend (which he had been talking about all day). When she explained to him on the phone that she had not promised the much talked about trip, he quickly came back with "Well maybe we can talk about it later".

With the clocking ticking very loudly as we get closer to Alex's delivery date, I'm becoming increasingly concerned that I may very well be out numbered one day. I can keep up with a 4 yr-old and a baby, but both at the same time.....that's gonna be tricky. Even more frightening is that basically any trouble Adam ends up in is of his own making. If he colors on the wall or pours water all over the bathroom floor or tries to play golf inside, it's all because it sounded like fun at the time. In four years I will have an 8 yr-old and a 4 yr-old! The only thing more dangerous than a little boy with a large imagination is a little boy with a big brother just itching to light the fuse of mischief. These are things that nightmares and Problem Child sequels are made of.

It's getting late. Soon there will only be 4 days left. Wonder what I will wear for the big day.

In Six Days....

Less than a week now from Alex being born and I'm thinking about money. We have been very fortunate when it comes to finances. Given there is always room to improve, but we will never lack the important things in life like food, shelter, and iTunes cash. One thing that has changed since our first pregnancy is my insurance has gotten better. We figure Adam cost us between $5,000 and $7,500 dollars mainly because we were there for a week...now not to jinx myself, but so far we have yet to pay a dime for any Baby Alex related medical expenses.

If we were forced I'm sure that we have enough entertainment in this house to keep us occupied 24hrs a day for several millennium, but there always seems to be something more fun to do. In some ways never being satisfied is what makes the world go around. Being satisfied means you are have accomplished your goal, crossed the finish line. While I am satisfied with where we have been and where we are, I'm always looking to tomorrow, next month, next year for something better. A better career, a better home, a better relationship with God. Trying to always appreciate the moment I am in, but at the same time wishing it was more than it was.

I think I got caught too many times living in the present and not looking to the future. Maybe if I had done more of some things and less of others, monthly bills wouldn't be a concern....than again maybe the more you have the more you want the less you appreciate the gift that is life.....with that in mind tomorrow I will be playing outside with Adam for awhile. This is our last weekend as a family of three.

In Seven Days....

Alex is scheduled to be born next Friday the 12th (thank goodness the he is not coming on Friday the 13th) and up until the night before I'm going to be posting everyday just so I can capture everything that is going through this Blockhead mind of mine. At the moment as I sit listening to Mandy and I suffer with what appears to be yet another cold, I find myself thinking back to last weekend. We spent a couple days with some very close friends and got to see their youngest daughter take her first stroll around the house. With every passing day more and more of what life was like those first days surrounding Adam's birth is coming back to me. It's almost heartbreaking to see him curled up on the couch watching the Smurfs. Even though he's just weeks away from turning 4, in my eyes twenty years have gone by in what feels like a fraction of a second.

Sleep is becoming a concern as well as what to do about our current group of friends. I can't remember if I've mentioned it lately, but we have become very close with some of the greatest people we have ever had the privilege to meet. I hope things stay this way for many years to come and that our paths continue to cross the rest of our lives. With Adam I began getting up early so that when he arrived I would be used to getting less sleep. Once he was born, Mandy and I simply went to sleep when he did. Regardless if it was 6:00 at night or 6:00 in the morning. With two kids you can't do thing because...tada!!! There's another kid around that needs feeding, clothing, and harassing (that's the part I'm best at). In terms of the gang we spend about 3-4 nights a week laughing ourselves silly with one or all of them and I can't guarantee we will keep Alex couped up in this house for long because of it.

Well that's all for tonight.....