Wednesday, March 10, 2010

In One Day....

One day and some odd hours left and the nerves are in full force. This week has flown by, but I just know tomorrow will go at a snails crawl. I need to say though (and I know I mentioned it the other day, but I'm going to again) after just walking in from Church, putting Adam to bed, and coming to the computer....I really have best Church family anybody could ask for. All night we were blessed with prayers, well wishes, and wonderful gifts from some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. I know we are closer to some than others, but my heart goes out to everyone tonight who attended this evening service. No matter what happens this week, next month, or years down the road Mandy and I will never forget your love and support.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is our last day as a family of three. In some ways it's kinda sad. Not because I'd don't want Alex to come, but because the dynamic is changing and I don't want Adam to feel like he's going to get lost in the mix. I love both my boys like crazy and I look forward to all the days ahead, but at the same time similar to what I went through before Adam came bringing with him an end to our days as simply a married couple change is a very scary thing.

I remember all the worry that Adam brought with him. The endless waking up to make sure he's just sleeping soundly and not something else. Then worrying when he does wake up crying. Trying like crazy to keep him healthy, but also making sure he's not being so guarded that he's not being able to experience life. What does this cry mean? Why is he doing that? Should I really be letting that person hold him? It all starts again this Friday....and even after all the worry and woe....I'm so excited I can't see straight.

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