Thursday, April 01, 2010

The Socialism Of Bunny Foo Foo

Easter is a time of rebirth, renewal, rejoicing. Spring is in the air. The flowers are in bloom. The sound of lawnmowers getting back to work fill up neighborhoods all over the country. Is there a better time of the year to teach kids about Socialism? You know what Socialism is right? As one dictionary puts it Socialism is "an economic theory or system in which the means of production, distribution, and exchange are owned by the community collectively, usually through the state. It is characterized by production for use rather than profit, by equality of individual wealth, by the absence of competitive economic activity, and, usually, by government determination of investment, prices, and production levels" Now of course I don't believe that this theory is what will keep America the awesome country it is for years to come, but I do fear that regardless of what I want our kids could already be learning the so called values of Socialism if others get their way. This brings me to today's Easter Egg hunt.

What could be wrong with an Easter Egg hunt right? Eggs are brought, eggs are hidden, a dozen or so kids are let loose to charge through the playground looking for eggs, everyone gets ice-cream afterward . Super fun!! Well....sorta. First off each kid is asked to bring 6 eggs with a prize inside. Second they don't just hide the eggs, pull the trigger, and let the kids have a good time, first comes the lecture. You see everything needs to be done fairly so that nobody gets their feelings hurt once the dust settles. So the lecture goes "Now remember boys and girls everyone wants to have a good time finding eggs. Right? Right, so it's important we don't hurt anyone's feelings. What we are going to do is go out and find all the hidden eggs. Some of us may end up with more eggs than others. If you don't find a lot of eggs don't be sad it will be okay. If you find a whole bunch of eggs remember how fun it is to share. Once all the eggs are found we will count up each basket and make sure that everyone comes back in with 6 eggs. Then we can get the candy inside. Won't that be fun?"

To a 4 yr-old who is already hyped up on chicken nuggets and Kool-aid, this does sound like fun because though the lecture lasted 2 minutes they only heard four words...find eggs get candy. It's true. I was standing there and saw it on his face. He was dreaming of plastic eggs filled with Skittles. Thankfully I didn't have the heart to tell him that since they were going to be spreading the wealth once the hunt was over anyway, he may as well enjoy his time more productively by doing something like say sleeping off all the nuggets he just inhaled. Better yet put the bucket down, go to the potty, grab a cool sip of water, and get in line for your six eggs once everyone has done all the hard work for you. I mean either way he's still got a handfull of Skittles at the end of the hunt. At least my way he's not so busy gasping for air from all that running that he can't enjoy them right away.

I can say all of this now that the hunt is over because my child found about double his limit and not the other way around. Then again I would hope that had his basket yielded zero eggs I would be adult enough to teach him that the way things are supposed to work is that nobody gets anything for free. Only through hard work and determination can you actually achieve your dreams. By simply waiting around for someone to give you your share of the eggs not only do you not appreciate what you get, but your dreams will all ways be that....pretty clouds floating just out of reach. This is the way that things are supposed to work....yet tomorrow is pay day and for some reason somebody named FICA needs my money more than I do.


BD Peace said...

Please, brother, tell me that you did not take the fact that someone wanted a bunch of kids to have a happy Easter and turn it into an anti-socialism rant. Please.

Anonymous said...

Well, in Abby's class they were to find 12 eggs and then stop. So, they found their 12 and the other kids found 12. Thus, they all got to hunt, rather than one hoarding them all...much like Abby did at her one year Easter hunt! Either way, it was the same principle as yours but more fun b/c all found the same number than having to take some away at the end.