Thursday, June 28, 2007

12 Rules I'm Attempting To Teach Fred

  • SPITTING IS NASTY ESPECIALLY IF YOU MAKE THAT “ACKKKKKK” SOUND WITH YOUR THROAT FIRST
  • FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVERYTHING. DON’T BE CAUGHT ON THE PHONE SCREAMING CURSE WORDS IN PUBLIC. YOU DON’T KNOW WHO’S AROUND OR WHAT THEIR OPINION ON THE ISSUE IS.
  • BETTER YET JUST DON’T CURSE AT ALL
  • LEAVE A TIP!!! NOBODY LIKEs CLEANING UP AFTER YOU ESPECIALLY IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING DO WITH YOUR BIRTH.
  • MADONNA WON’T LET HER OWN KIDS LISTEN TO HER MUSIC SO WHY SHOULD YOU?
  • NEVER DRINK ICE’D CAPPACINO AT 11PM AND THINK YOU WILL GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP.
  • PLUTO USED TO BE PLANET BUT IT DIDN’T EAT IT’S VEGATABLES AND SHRANK. NOW IT’S BARELY A MOON
  • NEVER WASTE YOUR MONEY ON A NEW ART’S MUSIC UNLESS YOU KNOW 3 TRACKS BY HEART. SAVE THE MONEY AND WAIT FOR THEIR GREATEST HITS COLLECTION.
  • ONLY BASEBALL PLAYERS AND MICHAeL JACKSON IMPERSONATORS TOUCH THEIR PRIVATES IN PUBLIC.
  • YOU WILL NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR MOMMA AND IF YOU ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK YOU HAVE, NEVER LET HER KNOW IT.
  • WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS IT MEANS YOU ARE SHOUTING!!!
  • NEVER FORGET THE CHICKEN NUGGET TAX. FOR EVERY 5 NUGGETS DADDY GETS ONE.

 

2 comments:

Em said...

Wow, I'd have to say that Chicken Nugget Tax is actually pretty fair. Knowing my husband, his will probably be daddy gets one chicken nugget for every 2 or 3....unless it's eat as fast as you can before daddy eats them all!

Gidge said...

I employ the "Tax" item both at work at home. There is the "manager tax" which can be employed when anyone has food I covet. And of course the "mommy tax" which is broad based and allows me to eat my kids food.

Now, if I could just get that whole "touching ourselves in public" thing fixed.....geeeez what is it with boys?