Fred Vs Bed (Part IV: My Doctor’s Excuse)

I know what you are thinking…”Fred Vs Bed Part 4!!! You are telling me you have a 10 month old still sleeping in your bed every night?” Just to get you caught up on the progress or lack there of, in order for there to be a Part 4 there first had to be a Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. None of which ended with Fred in his bed.

So what do we have to say for ourselves now? Simply put, we have done all we know to do. We’ve tried the whole “Put him in the bed and check back in 5,10,15, 20 minute increments” and all this lead to was him getting sick all over the place. That I’ll have you know was at the 3-hour mark.

We tried easing him into to it by having him take all his naps there. This didn’t work because he’s not with us all the time and he started to think he was being put in it for the night even though it was the middle of the day. We even tried going cold turkey and just letting him cry it out without going in there. The next day his voice had lost some of it’s sparkle and left us scrambling for a better excuse other than “we just let him scream for two hours”

All this has lead up to us talking to his doctor during last week’s 9-month check up (he turned 10-months on Sat. 20th). Care to guess what she said? Leave him alone about it. You heard me. Get him used to sleeping in the living room by himself and then after a few months, easy him to another room. He will work it out all by himself.

This was the best news I had heard in awhile (besides my American Idol side project. Plug.Plug), because we finally have something to tell the hoards of parents that look at us like they just found out our really names were Fred/Velma and the reason we never invite anybody over is because our talking dog likes to tug on their faces while shouting “AH HAH!!!” Notice I said Velma and not Daphne. That catholic school skirt gets me every time. Back to the point, finally we can say we have a Doctor’s excuse.

No longer will we be forced to hang our heads in shame while other parents chuckle at our supposed miss-fortune. From now on we can sing loud and proud “BACK OFF!! WE HAVE A DOCTOR’S EXCUSE!!!”

I know all of this sounds like I’m exaggerating because let’s face it that’s what I do best, but I really think that some parents get a sick thrill from listening to us talk about going through this. You should see their faces light up just before they ask, “So…How’s that bed thing going?” “Hey buddy, have you got the bed to yourself yet?” “Speaking of last night, did you guys get Fred in his room yet?” It’s all I can do to just not punch somebody in the face…ok I’m not much of a puncher…I’d probably just call them a curse word and hide behind Lucy…and cry when we’re black balled from Church ‘cause I went off on an Elder.

The real Jeckle and Hyde of the situation is that, yes at night I do want Fred to sleep in his own room and not have to hold him while we stay up. We’d both like to do other things at that time of night, like clean or read or write a blog…but come morning the whole thing flip-flops. I don’t wake up feeling put out about having to share my bed with someone besides my wife. I’m not overly cranky about the baby lying on my arm all night. The truth is that watching him wake up every morning…looking at this new person take in the world on the morning of his 300th day…that smile as he sees you there anxiously awaiting for him to acknowledge your presence… not only do I forget about what kind of sleep I did or didn’t get, I lose track of the rest of the world entirely.