Monday, December 08, 2008

Help! I've Been Lincoln Logged And Can't Get Up!

If you've got kids than you know the joys of walking through the house barefoot only to discover that Batman's Bat-a-rang actually does make an effective weapon if used properly. What may seem like tiny harmless bits of plastic suddenly become appendage altering landmines placed around the house in some type of shotgun pattern. The result is you begin to walk differently. Instead of long strides you learn to march like a soldier except you never let more than the tips of your toes touch the ground. Pretty soon you become so used to trying to avoid ending the life of what was otherwise a very nice foot, that you begin to walk like this every where you go. People at the mall see you walk past like Elmer Fud sneaking up on that Wascally Wabbit and instinctively they understand you are with Toddler.

Over the past couple of years I've had the misfortune of stepping on Legos, Hot Wheels, action figures, tiny trains, sunglasses, and every Happy Meal toy produced since 2006. You could say I was a connoisseur of toy related foot pain. I've been hurt by the worst and lived to tell...until we got the bright idea to introduce Fred to Lincoln Logs. What was meant for building is really just a tube full of wooden bats and pin cushions. Nothing and I mean NOTHING has ever hurt more than stepping on those tiny wooden Lincoln Logs while making my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But what is a guy going to do throw away every toy that his son has just because they have almost sent him to the E.R. twice? Yes....but I had his permission. After stepping on one of the little #$%&#'s himself he cried "Take them away Daddy!!! Please take them awwwaayyyy"

1 comment:

Dad Stuff said...

I've adopted a shuffling gait to avoid these heel killers.
But every once in a while, one of my daughter's craft beads will bring me crashing to the floor with tears in my eyes.