Monday, August 13, 2007

Fred Vs Bed (Part V: The Final Chapter)

I’ve been meaning to do an update on the Fred Vs. Bed situation. It’s been a loooong time between Part IV and this is the latest/last chapter. I’m not going to link to them all since you guys are smart enough to use the handy dandy search engine on the right of your screen. Just going to jump right in there and lay it all out for the world to see….

Fred is still in our bed. I know it’s been 17 months. I know he needs to learn to sleep in his own room. I know he sleeps in a cot at daycare and he would sleep on the couch all night if we let him….so what’s the major mal-function? It’s a two part problem really.

Part 1: His allergies. Since he was a wee babe he’s always had some type of minor cough or breathing issue. So much so that we give breathing treatments a few times a week (which is better than everyday, which we did for a while in the early months). He takes a couple kinds of medicine everyday in addition to the breathing treatments, but it’s nothing serious enough to mandate an alternate lifestyle. The doctors all say Buttons the 20lb cat isn’t a factor or anything else for that matter. They all agree it’s just an allergy issue that has a lot to do with the dry weather and constantly high level of junk in the air. He still plays outside like any other kid. Still runs around like a chicken with his head cut off. Still refuses to sit still and enjoy a moments peace. The only difference is that occasionally he gets a little wheezy and may have a bad night of coughing every now/then. Hence getting him in his own bed is complicated by the fact that the coughing scares us and wakes him up.

Part 2: Lord help me I still like him there all night. Some parents will say they can’t stand their kid in their bed, but I’m not some parent. I sleep better because I don’t have to worry about what’s going on in the other room. If it’s too quiet I pray he’s not having trouble breathing. Too much cough I worry if he’s getting any rest at all. I love Lucy, but Fred + My Bed=Peace of Mind.

So again comes the question: What should a blockhead do? Take it day by day that’s what. I’m no longer going to worry about how his sleep habits compare to those other kids his age or the looks I get when the “perfect” parent finds out about our current little hang-up….because truth be told it’s not that big of a hang-up and there are no “perfect” parents.

“Did I just hear you say Fred still sleeps in your bed? My Lance has slept in his bed since night one!! How could you let him still do that?”

“Well he’s got this cough thing…say isn’t that you Lance over there kicking that old man’s cane out from under him?”

Lucy and I have a fun loving, cute as a button, never in a bad mood, laugh a minute, roller coaster of a baby boy, and everything else is just part of what makes the world go round. Sooner or later Fred will conquer the bed and when it happens I know it will be the most minor of all his coming achievements.


AdventureDad said...

Don't worry what others say. I have friends who have their 6 year old in their bed 5 nights a week. So you still got some time...

In the big picture this is no big deal. I think there are other more important things to worry about. Regardless of how you feel about him in the bed it's probably a good idea to have him sleep alone in the coming year or so.

Just remember to practice safe co-sleeping when he's in your bed

Good luck


he J's said...

Sounds like an inexpensive form of birth control - LOL! Aren't you guys are supposed to be learning from all of our mistakes!!! Lots of love from Michigan.

he J's said...

Sounds like an inexpensive form of birth control - LOL! Aren't you guys are supposed to be learning from all of our mistakes!!! Lots of love from Michigan.

he J's said...

Sounds like an inexpensive form of birth control - LOL! Aren't you guys are supposed to be learning from all of our mistakes!!! Lots of love from Michigan.

the weirdgirl said...

I have to ditto AD. I know people whose kids are still sleeping with them at 5 and up. True, they're not very happy but if you don't let it go to that point I wouldn't worry.

I remember when Chance went through a wheezing period and needed that medicine. It was SO HARD not being able to hear him at night! I got up to check him about a gazillion times. But at the same time, when I had him in the room with me every little catch of breath had me waking up, too.

The Father of Five said...

It will all work out in the end. Like potty training, let the child decide when they are ready.

Oh, dont get me wrong - you can "help" a little - but dont push.

Our three year old still crawls into our bed half way through the night. We put up a sticker chart for her when she does spend the night in her own bed, and I'd say she is about 50-50. It will happen.

Our #4 was just about finished in our bed when #5 came along. There was a short peroid of time that we had two in the bed (plus the two adults).

The only thing to be careful of (as I am sure you are aware) is not rolling over on the child. I have five, and it never happend to me, but last month (I am a 911 Dispatcher) we had a father roll over his child, only to wake up in the morning and discover the worst possible news a parent could imagine....

Anyway - dont let the world dictate how you want to run your life. If you are ok with it, then that is all that matters!

Good luck!

David the Father of Five.