Monday, August 10, 2009

Letting It All Sink In

Lucy is right at 2 months pregnant and even though we've known for several weeks, it's all still sinking in. People who know me know I don't get excited by much. In fact I fell asleep in the waiting room just moments before Fred was born. Three years later and there I was last week a sleep mere seconds before the first ultrasound.

I've been thinking a lot about this past year lately and how things will be different as we get closer to the March due date. Remembering Fred and I hitting golf balls into hurricane force winds last September while vacationing in Orange Beach, Al. Thinking about that 2-hour canoe trip I took last month up Shoals Creek. I'd never even been in a canoe and there I was all by myself in the middle of nowhere. If anything had gone wrong I'd have literally been up a creek without a paddle. Lucy and I driving around town with the windows down after Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist. Each memory fills me with a calm that I keep coming back to when work seems to be more than I can handle.

When I think of my unborn child I get this same sense of calm. Like I've arrived at the right place at the right time. Like God has lined things up just so and blessed me with the insight to understand the miracle that is swirling around me. Maybe that's why I'm not writing as much lately...I'm too busy making sure I don't miss a moment.

There's a John Mayer song that goes:

I'm writing you to
catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
didn't have a camera by my side this time
hopping I would see the world with both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words

That's exactly what life is like for me right now. The words just aren't there to explain how amazed I am that I get to wake up every morning to my life.

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