LA CANADA FLINTRIDGE,
Actor Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized early Thursday after he apparently lost control of his car while heading to his Los Angeles-area home, authorities said.
Osment, who was nominated for an Academy Award for his role as a boy who could see dead people in "The Sixth Sense," was driving a 1995 Saturn about 1 a.m. when the car collided with a brick pillar and flipped, said Los Angeles County sheriff's Lt. Greg Sisneros.
Dear Mr. Osment,
I recently read the article above about your car accident on Cnn.Com and was relieved to hear that you survived such a terrifying ordeal. I have always been a big fan of yours going back to your days on “The Jeff Foxworthy Show”…man he’s one funny guy…I bet he just sat around drinking beer and tell’n them Redneck jokes all day…can you get me his autograph?…um…what was I talking about?oh, that’s right, as I was saying, I hope you are healing and nothing was badly broken.
The reason I am writing was to discuss a possible business transaction between the two of us. Now I know you’re a big movie star and you won an Oscar and you see dead people etc. etc. but I think I might just have the thing you need most right now. I, Charlie Blockhead, am willing to help you replace your beloved 1995 Saturn.
That’s right!!! For only $30,000 a like new 2003 Ford Focus Station Wagon can be yours! I’ve watched enough of Access Hollywood to know you motion picture types like them fancy, schmancy, “antiques”, so trust me with only 20,000 miles this baby is a classic. It comes with electric windows, cd/mp3 technology, one touch channel switch’n, these robotic arms that shoot over the windshield whenever it rains, and best yet…it’s got air condition’n for those hot Los Angeles days. It’s a pretty silver color (I got it that way so it always looks clean from a distance) and plenty of cargo space to hold all them awards that have obviously left you with thousands and thousands of dollars. Heck, I’ll even autograph it for ya,
So in closing, please think about my offer or at least get with Foxworthy about making one of them made for TV reunion movies. Them Growing Pains folks did it and you ain’t no better then them. Are ya?
Yours truly,
Charlie Blockhead
1 comment:
classic, do you think he'll respond?
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