Adventures Of Peter Porker

Now that I've turned 35 I'm really starting to look at myself in the mirror and see the toll that an exercise free lifestyle has taken on my body. Not that I haven't been overweight for some time, it's just that recently it has dawned on me just how much my over grown stomach has turned into an extra appendage as if it were another arm or leg. I'm not going to give you my current weight but back when I weighed 150 I would never sit around slurping an icee through a straw from a drink that was resting on my stomach. Not because that's the epitome of laziness, but more so because I had no stomach to sit it on. It's very cool...it just wasn't possible back then.

I don't sleep on my back because it's comfortable, I do it because sleeping on my stomach is like sleeping on medicine ball. People think that I carry Alex around front facing because he "likes seeing the world", but that's just a lie I use to cover up the fact that I'm using my stomach as a seat. He's essentially riding my stomach all around the building. When Adam comes charging at me like a football player head tucked shoulder out, my best defense is just stick out the belly and watch him bounce off. I start meals seated really close to the edge of the table, I know it's time to stop eating when my stomach begins to push me back a little bit. My belt has 3 buckle holes: Before lunch, after lunch, and these pants are cutting off my circulation.

The Career Proximity Theory

I'm starting to develope this theory that the closer you live to your place of employment, the more times you are late during the course of a week. People that live 30 minutes away are always on time because they have to worry about traffic, wreaks, bad weather, etc...me I live 3 minutes away. Now that should mean I am the first one walking in the door everyday, but what it really means is that I can leave my house at 8 and get to the office at 8:03.

Lunch breaks are the worst as there is never enough time to do the million things I always seem to try and cram into that one hour period. I mean I consider myself a smart guy so why can I not figure out how many minutes are actually in an hour. Yet everyday there I am trying to write a post, watch some show from the night before, check facebook, check my 3 email accounts (one for home, one for freelance work, and one for junk mail), and play with Alex for 5 minutes.

Facebook Killed The Blog Star

The worst part about writing a blog on a weekly basis is the guilt that comes from ignoring it. The main reason I ignore it isn't so much that I'm writing 6 other articles a week that actually pay me something, but that Facebook doesn't require me to finish a thought. Here whenever I have an idea I have to think it out, turn it around in my head a few times, and edit, edit, edit. On Facebook I can say things like " I wish everything had bungee cord attached to it" and leave it at that. On Charlie that sentence would lead to a list of all things I want bungee cord on like the remote, utensils, the laptop....not that I haven't thought about it, but it's not something I'm ready to commit to in writing.

So for those of you out there who keep asking where I'm at, I'm still here and I'm going to keep posting. The posts may just take on a smaller format.