The Clothes Make The Man

I started back to work today and honestly besides of course missing the family like crazy, the hardest part of the day was having to wear a buttoned up shirt and khakis. Corporate America is really laking in terms of what is considered business casual. Am I the only one that looks in their kids closest and wishes they could rock out with a red guitar blaze'n long sleeve T-shirt with the words Guitar Hero plastered all over the front in bright silver letters? Maybe show up at my cube tomorrow kick'n an old school Alvin N The Chipmunks T.

Even my kids shoes are cooler than anything I got. I'm not even talking about Adam's yellow feathered Big Bird sneakers, Alex right now has on this monkey footed thing that I would love to chill out in while working spreadsheets. Today wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't easy either. When I came home for lunch and picked up my brand new baby Alex. He was all cuddly and sleepy snugly. I looked down at him there in my arms wearing this tiny little gown and there in the middle next to a teddy bear button where the words "I need a hug"....I couldn't help but think that's exactly what I wished my shirt said today too.

Pardon My Memory Loss

We have been home just a few days now and I have quickly realized that I completely glamorized what it's like having a baby at home. Months before Alex got here all I kept talking about was how I didn't mind waking up in the middle of the night. That baby's diapers don't smell that bad. That this baby thing was a breeze. Well clearly I was suffering from post traumatic sleep disorder, because getting up at 2 again at 4 and again at 6 is killing me. First off I'm going back to work on Monday and this new sleep pattern is really going to make for an interesting day as I stare at a computer for 8hrs. Second my memory is horrible. Yesterday Mandy sent me to the bank to make a deposit. She clipped a note to the slip and when I passed it on to the teller I started getting all these crazy looks. I think I even got a giggle or two. The lady behind the window very politely explained "I think this note was meant for you." As I read it I remembered moments earlier Mandy telling me the message was for me "I love you sweetie. Hurry home!!"

I think where I went wrong was remembering what it was like having a 6 month old. They coo, they giggle, they play with the hundreds of tiny toys you wave in their face. What I have is a 6 day old who sleeps, eats, poops, pees, opens his eyes for 5 seconds and starts the cycle all over again every two hours. Even Adam who is clearly confused about what all the fuss has been about is looking at me like I'm insane for talking up all that good times that were yet to be had the moment the baby was born. I think we both thought he would jump from Mandy's womb with a baseball bat in hand and point his finger towards the right field fence. Thankfully Mandy is in complete control over what, when, and how things are progressing sorta like a warden at a mental hospital.

Home Again

We made it home yesterday after being at the hospital for only a few days. All that went wrong when Adam was born went right with Alex. No yellow tint, no time under oxygen, and Mandy's hernia surgery went well too. Adam who has been spending the last few days being bounced between Gigi, Nani, and Mo couldn't wait to have everyone home and just loves to watch Baby Alex. The next few days will be spent getting some type of schedule worked out. Obviously things are a little out of whack at the moment. Alex didn't go to sleep until 4 a.m., but thankfully Adam let us sleep until 8, so we are feeling rested enough to make complete sentences. Today we are going to focus on getting Alex used to his crib and Adam getting used to being quiet.

I need to say thank you to all those who sent card, flowers, balloons, letters, comments, and are bringing us dinner each night this week. Each of you hold a special place in our hearts.

In The Zero Hour...

We are just a few hours away from Baby Alex making his grand appearance and life is as chaotic as it gets. After getting to work an hour early, taking Mandy to the Doc, scrambling to get everything done by 5 o'clock, running to two banks, the post office, the gas station, grabbing dinner, packing 3 bags, calling all the grandparents, giving Adam a bath, making sure all is packed and ready to go.....I'm seriously wondering how I'm going to do all of this and take care of a baby.

We are scheduled to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning which means the alarm will probably need to be set for 3:30....it's 9 now which still gives me 6 hrs of sleep if I was to suddenly get knocked over the head and pass out within the next few minutes. Barring that I think we will be doing good to hit the hay by 11. Adam keeps pretending to be a baby and wanted to be rocked earlier tonight. I really wonder how he is going to handle his new role.

Wish us luck, pray for our health and quick return home, and I will post pics as soon as I can.

In One Day....

One day and some odd hours left and the nerves are in full force. This week has flown by, but I just know tomorrow will go at a snails crawl. I need to say though (and I know I mentioned it the other day, but I'm going to again) after just walking in from Church, putting Adam to bed, and coming to the computer....I really have best Church family anybody could ask for. All night we were blessed with prayers, well wishes, and wonderful gifts from some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. I know we are closer to some than others, but my heart goes out to everyone tonight who attended this evening service. No matter what happens this week, next month, or years down the road Mandy and I will never forget your love and support.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is our last day as a family of three. In some ways it's kinda sad. Not because I'd don't want Alex to come, but because the dynamic is changing and I don't want Adam to feel like he's going to get lost in the mix. I love both my boys like crazy and I look forward to all the days ahead, but at the same time similar to what I went through before Adam came bringing with him an end to our days as simply a married couple change is a very scary thing.

I remember all the worry that Adam brought with him. The endless waking up to make sure he's just sleeping soundly and not something else. Then worrying when he does wake up crying. Trying like crazy to keep him healthy, but also making sure he's not being so guarded that he's not being able to experience life. What does this cry mean? Why is he doing that? Should I really be letting that person hold him? It all starts again this Friday....and even after all the worry and woe....I'm so excited I can't see straight.

In Two Days.....

Only have time for a quick note. Too much fun was had at the weekly Idol party and it's way late. With only two days left after tonight everyone is on edge with anticipation for the big event. In the morning I'm taking Buttons in for a bath, a nail clip, and good brushing. He hates the cat crate so I'm counting on having a fight on my hands. Wednesdays are the longest day of the week because we all go to work/school then head straight to church for dinner before services. Several have asked if we mind them coming early Friday to be with the family. I say the more the merrier. Nerves are starting to kick in. Please pray with us that momma and baby all make it through without a hitch.

In Three Days....

You know I talk a lot about any and everything that goes on in my life, but what I don't talk enough about though is the person that has shared this adventure with me from the very beginning. I would even go as far as saying that without her there would be no adventure. Of course I am talking about my partner in life the beautiful Mandy. Like most guys I often get caught up in making fun of our wives, but honestly I somehow got extremely lucky the day she agreed to marry me.

People always say that working from home would be their dream come true, but what they don't realize is that when you work from home you never get a chance to leave the office behind. For the past 9 months Mandy hasn't missed a day even while dealing with swollen feet, a baby inside her having hiccups at all hours of the night, and a hernia. Through all of this she continues to amaze me by getting up every morning, grabbing a seat behind her desk, and putting in a full days work. Plus every other day she somehow manages to keep an eye on Adam while never missing a beat. If it were me and something was crawling around inside me for 9 months I would have committed myself to never leaving the couch soon after the 3rd week.

Here we are with only 3 days to go and she's still helping me get Adam ready for school in the morning, going grocery shopping with me in the evening, and staying up all night trying to plan a birthday party. Me I get to go to work all day and shrug off any of the days misfortune by simply getting up from my desk and walking away. With very few complaints she does all of this and the finances too. I love you sweetie....

In Four Days....

For about $250 an hour while laying on a comfortable leather couch that more than likely costs more then I made all of last year, I'm sure a Psychologist would say that what I am experiencing now is a physical expression of what I am going though emotionally. That this cough that I am finally going to see the Dr. about in the morning is more of a state of mind problem than simply a case of bad timing and the early signs of bronchitis. For the moment I'm fine with just chalking it up to bad luck similar to the kind I have every year when I catch poison ivy just days before seeing my dad during the 4th of July. Furthermore it's just coincidence that I also had to make an unexpected trip to the Dr. for the exact same thing the week Adam was born. At this point though whether it be mental or physical I've got to shake this hacking cough and I've only got four days left to do it. When it first raised it's evil head I just blamed the harsh winter and started medicating myself with whatever prescription and over the counter medicine I could get my hands on....that was two months ago and obviously my way didn't work.

Spent the day working on all the electronics we will be taking. Charged the video camera, put extra batteries in by camera bags, emptied all the memory cards (should have about 6-8 gigs of photo storage space), and even got Adams camera ready for him so he could show what life looks like through his waist high perspective.

Only 3 days left and I think I figured out what I'm going to wear. Adam started telling people he was bringing Baby Alex to church next week. The installed car seats remind me that life will never be the same.

In Five Days.....

Put some last minute touches on the room today, but mainly tried to spend as much time with Adam outside as we could. It seems I may have more work cut out for me than I originally considered. All day my little boy has been proving how smart he is and trying to weasel his way to Chuckie Cheese. For example from the backseat of the car this afternoon he yelled "No thank you I just ate!" when the lady asked to take our order. Another occurred as I finished a much delayed item on my Honey-Do list by painting the bathroom cabinet. Adam walked in and started crying cause he thought I was about to paint the rest of the house next including his blue room. The best though happened during a call to the Nani after he finally fessed up to being told that he would get to go to Chuckie Cheese this weekend (which he had been talking about all day). When she explained to him on the phone that she had not promised the much talked about trip, he quickly came back with "Well maybe we can talk about it later".

With the clocking ticking very loudly as we get closer to Alex's delivery date, I'm becoming increasingly concerned that I may very well be out numbered one day. I can keep up with a 4 yr-old and a baby, but both at the same time.....that's gonna be tricky. Even more frightening is that basically any trouble Adam ends up in is of his own making. If he colors on the wall or pours water all over the bathroom floor or tries to play golf inside, it's all because it sounded like fun at the time. In four years I will have an 8 yr-old and a 4 yr-old! The only thing more dangerous than a little boy with a large imagination is a little boy with a big brother just itching to light the fuse of mischief. These are things that nightmares and Problem Child sequels are made of.

It's getting late. Soon there will only be 4 days left. Wonder what I will wear for the big day.

In Six Days....

Less than a week now from Alex being born and I'm thinking about money. We have been very fortunate when it comes to finances. Given there is always room to improve, but we will never lack the important things in life like food, shelter, and iTunes cash. One thing that has changed since our first pregnancy is my insurance has gotten better. We figure Adam cost us between $5,000 and $7,500 dollars mainly because we were there for a week...now not to jinx myself, but so far we have yet to pay a dime for any Baby Alex related medical expenses.

If we were forced I'm sure that we have enough entertainment in this house to keep us occupied 24hrs a day for several millennium, but there always seems to be something more fun to do. In some ways never being satisfied is what makes the world go around. Being satisfied means you are have accomplished your goal, crossed the finish line. While I am satisfied with where we have been and where we are, I'm always looking to tomorrow, next month, next year for something better. A better career, a better home, a better relationship with God. Trying to always appreciate the moment I am in, but at the same time wishing it was more than it was.

I think I got caught too many times living in the present and not looking to the future. Maybe if I had done more of some things and less of others, monthly bills wouldn't be a concern....than again maybe the more you have the more you want the less you appreciate the gift that is life.....with that in mind tomorrow I will be playing outside with Adam for awhile. This is our last weekend as a family of three.

In Seven Days....

Alex is scheduled to be born next Friday the 12th (thank goodness the he is not coming on Friday the 13th) and up until the night before I'm going to be posting everyday just so I can capture everything that is going through this Blockhead mind of mine. At the moment as I sit listening to Mandy and I suffer with what appears to be yet another cold, I find myself thinking back to last weekend. We spent a couple days with some very close friends and got to see their youngest daughter take her first stroll around the house. With every passing day more and more of what life was like those first days surrounding Adam's birth is coming back to me. It's almost heartbreaking to see him curled up on the couch watching the Smurfs. Even though he's just weeks away from turning 4, in my eyes twenty years have gone by in what feels like a fraction of a second.

Sleep is becoming a concern as well as what to do about our current group of friends. I can't remember if I've mentioned it lately, but we have become very close with some of the greatest people we have ever had the privilege to meet. I hope things stay this way for many years to come and that our paths continue to cross the rest of our lives. With Adam I began getting up early so that when he arrived I would be used to getting less sleep. Once he was born, Mandy and I simply went to sleep when he did. Regardless if it was 6:00 at night or 6:00 in the morning. With two kids you can't do thing because...tada!!! There's another kid around that needs feeding, clothing, and harassing (that's the part I'm best at). In terms of the gang we spend about 3-4 nights a week laughing ourselves silly with one or all of them and I can't guarantee we will keep Alex couped up in this house for long because of it.

Well that's all for tonight.....