Charlie’s 12 Days of Christmas

Man I can’t believe it’s been that long since my last post. This must be what it’s like for a Catholic not to go to confessional once a week. There is soooo much to ramble about, I don’t even know where to start. I’m just gonna jump in there and try to wrap everything up by the end of the week.

Shout outs
I figure first things first I better give props to everyone that helped make Fred’s first Christmas something legends are born of. Gigi, Nana, Pops, Super Steve, Mrs. Mandy, Broccoli, Mimi, Bobbob, Auntie Molly…Thank you so much for all that you did for us this year. You all really went way overboard with your kindness and love. I know they say you can’t put a value on love, but I think some of you were trying (and got pretty close on a couple of occasions). It’s embarrassing to think of all you did for us and I just pray that you know how much it means to Lucy, Fred, and I.

Notice I left somebody out above? Lucy if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have anything to celebrate. I always knew you were a great wife, but that’s nothing to the kind of mother you have become. I am in shock at how much love you carry inside.

Everything is Safe
I spent one afternoon helping Pops move a safe from his front room to the back of the house. It’s one of those giant gun safes that practically belong in a bank. The thing is so heavy you’d think they set it in the empty lot first and then built the house around it. And he was soooo cool about getting me to do it. He was all “Hey lets go grab some Mexican food and run some errands…then-move-the-safe-and-watch-a-movie” All I heard was food and movie. Next thing I know I’m pushing the 3-ton monster while wondering if I really should have ate that last bowl of salsa. Pops is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, so he could have skipped the food and asked me to move the house instead. I would have still helped and I’m pretty sure he knows that too.

Sticky Situation
Fred went with us to eat Mexican and the next day I noticed something bright red in his diaper. This is nasty and if you want to skip this part I understand….just giving you fair warning…like my favorite children’s book “A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK”…still reading…okay here it goes.

I don’t normally scan the baby poop for objects. Most of the time I just pull my shirt over my nose and jump in. Poor Fred probably wonders why Darth Vader changes his poopy diapers on the weekends. You know my voice can’t sound the same through two layers of clothes. Also he has something I’m not sure many other baby’s have…he has Man Gas. Not little baby poots that go squeak and cause the baby to chuckle. No Fred farts/poops like a man. Half the time I get accused of the noises he makes cause they are so deep and often rattle the windows. Man Gas alone is not that big a deal but when you have that much force coming from such a tiny vessel and being shot into a diaper that is meant to service normal baby poots…well it’s like dropping a watermelon from a roof and trying to hit a target. Yes you hit the target, but you also get everything around it nasty too.

As I was saying I don’t normally search the remains for debris but something caught my eye. At first I just figured it was a red bell pepper from some of the Mexican rice he had the day before, but then I got afraid it might be blood. I figured I better call in reinforcements. Since Fred likes to “play in the mud” if you don’t wrap things up pretty quick, I called for Lucy. It turns out that sometime in the past couple of days, Fred ate a sticker. We don’t know where it came from, just that it had a ladybug on it. Now that little man is sampling table food, he must have figured it was just another puff-puff. A flat sticky ladybug shaped puff-puff.

My Little Side Project
I completely meant to post at least once the week before Christmas. I had this whole “Year in Pictures” thing planned, but I got sidetracked. I won’t go into details but I am working on another website that might actually earn me some cash. Like everyone one else on this planet I could use a couple extra bucks. I was offered a chance to write for a new website and ended up spending a few days coming up with a couple of posts to serve as my audition. Cross your fingers, I want it badly!!! This will not mean I will quit Charlie Blockhead, I just may only post once or twice a week instead of 3.

Boom Boom Chik-a-bow-wow
I’ve mentioned Fred loooooovvveesss him some Barney. He is The Purple Prince of Peace around our house. He’s got this one song that just burrows it’s way into your brain and refuses to vacate the premises. “Boom Boom ain’t it great to be crazy, boom boom ain’t it great to be crazy. Silly and something something all day long, boom boom ain’t it great to be crazy” Those aren’t exactly the correct words but Lucy knows them by heart and sings them non-stop to Fred. I can never remember the words and end up singing something from NickleBack or 3-Doors Down.

Well last week Fred gave his mommy her first nickname “Boom Boom”. It seems that she may have sang this particular song one too many times and is now fighting her new moniker for all she’s got. You should hear them, “Boom Boom” he says. “No! I am Mommy MOOOOOMMMMMY” “Boom Boom?” “MOOOOOMMMMYYYY” “Mommmaaaaa”
Just to bug her I add the Chik-a-bow-wow to the end cause it sounds like 60’s porn music.