Costume Calamities

I know Halloween is a few weeks off, but I’m trying to figure out what I’m going as this year. My office usually dresses up and it’s a great excuse to break the monotony of cubicle life. The last couple of years my choice of attire has been a little too subtle though.

2004:
I was really big into Smallville so I thought it would be soooo cool to come as Clark Kent/Superman. I have the blue Superman T-shirt that came with my comic book geek membership, so my costume was basically me wearing a flannel shirt over that. I left a few buttons undone around the collar so people would be able to see the top of the red “S” that Superman has on his chest. I remember thinking “Easy Costume. Creative. This will be kinda neat.”
Maybe I didn’t leave enough buttons undone at the top of the shirt. Maybe I should have put more jell in my hair and perfected that signature curl in the middle of my forehead. I thought that ripping off my glasses and suddenly standing straighter with my chest puffed out would be a clear sign of who I was. Regardless of why, nobody caught the fact that I was wearing a costume. By midday I decided that I should stay true to my superhero roots and not revel my secret identity.

2005:
I know I don’t talk about it much, cause honestly my job is far from anything glamorous or even mildly interesting. I basically work in a cube farm with 50 other rats all trapped in the same maze looking for bits of cheese or in my case donuts.
After my secret costume from the year before, I was determined to be less creative and more obvious. I was reading Dilbert everyday and the similarities were just too much to pass up. I decided Dilbert would be a nice fit for Halloween ‘05’.
It was barely even a costume. Blue kakis, white button up, red/black striped tie, and my glasses. I used a safety pin to make it look like my tie was curled up and even changed my name on the ID badge I’m required wear to Dilbert. Again nothing. NOT ONE PERSON NOTICED MY TIE STICKING IN THE AIR ALL DAY!!!! Another year, another costume wasted on the zombies around my office.

What these last two Halloweens have taught me is that dressing as a nerd is just not enough of a stretch for me. We all know the jokes where people say, “Hey you forgot to take your costume off from last year” or “Halloween was two months ago. Why are you still wearing that mask?” Well apparently I this is literally true in my case.

I was thinking maybe this year I’ll be Peter Parker. I could wear jeans, a red T-shirt with a flannel shirt over it, opened up just a bit at the collar so you can barely see the red, and I could have a camera around my neck all day… naaaahhhh people would get that in a heartbeat. I don’t want to be too obvious.