The new place will feature an apartment for Gigi so I thought we'd talk a little bit about that tonight. Now of course I can't attest to this from personal experience, but I can say that it seems from my perspective that the best part of being a grandparent is probably the ability to leave the chaos behind and go back to your quiet little slice of heaven just before things get out of control. Now although Gigi will have her own space large enough for a couch, bed, full bathroom, etc....I do worry that she's hasn't fully considered what she is trading her quiet single occupancy life for.
Let's take tonight for example: Dinner is just about done and Adam has decided to walk around with his sandwich instead of sitting at the table. Alex is shouting HEY MAN! at the top of his lungs every few seconds which is something we had been practicing at Wal-Mart for 30 minutes but he refused to repeat. Suddenly a High-Five contest breaks out, Mommy included. The problem with 5 year olds of course is that they don't know when to quit. In seconds the High-Fives turn into jack slaps followed by cries of pain, screams of fright, and of course there is the HEY MAN!! going on in the background. Next Mandy steps outside to take out the trash and apparently Alex begins making more. I take Alex, Mandy goes her way, and Adam is left at the table by himself. Alex was wearing a diaper but little did we know he had a wedgie which caused things to exit stage left. At the moment I'm realizing this, Adam screams that something is in Alex's highchair. I pull the baby's pants off, poop is smeared from his waist to his big toe, and now I'm screaming. Adam runs down the hall to help by bringing a plastic bag, takes two steps into the room, the smell hits him head on, he throws the plastic bag in the air, it lands no where near where I'm at, and takes off running through the house screaming YUCK GROSS YUCK! I've got the baby on the diaper table with one foot in the air trying to keep his hands off his bits and pieces which are covered in sludge, he starts crying, Mandy comes, grabs, the bag, and without realizing what she has done grabs Alex's leg thus covering her hand with what must have been Alex's lunch at some point.
By now I'm looking for an exit strategy so I immediately grab the diaper and pronounce it must be taken to the garbage that Mandy just conveniently rolled all the way to the curb for the next morning's pickup. I'm walking out the front door and I hear her shout there's no way he's coming clean with wipes, so she gets Adam to turn on the bathtub water. Alex goes in the tub, gets a five minute scrubbing, and Adam who has been running around the house naked waiting for Alex to finish, immediately jumps into the bathtub...slipping of course on all the soap left behind from Alex's bath moments before. The house shakes from the force of the fall. I take off in the direction of the bathroom to find Adam laying on his back, the shower water hitting him in the face, Alex is across the hall and getting his pajamas put on by Mandy, he spins around to the sound of the crash thus launching himself off the changing table and is barely saved by Mandy who managed a quick grab for his leg, now both boys are crying.....meanwhile Gigi is at home in beautiful peace and quiet living the life I only dream of.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Sunday, February 05, 2012
The Truth Is Out There
For the past month my family and I have been going through something earth shattering. Something life changing. Something that caused us to do some major soul searching. Up until last night only a couple close family members (Gigi & Nani) were aware of what we were going through. The past four weeks have been some of the hardest in our lives and it has brought us much closer to God then we ever knew we could be. I must say that this challenge was also complicated by the passing of Buttons our beloved pet and Mandy going to real estate school. Now finally we are ready to share.
First though the We Are Nots:
*No we are not pregnant.
*No we are not sick.
*No we are not getting a divorce.
What we are doing is moving. After 10 years of living in a house that used to seem as big as the Taj Mahal, it is time to start the next chapter in our lives. Pops has been more than gracious over the years, first inviting us to live here in his childhood home for a small portion of rent which was more like a maintenance fee, and then always assuring us that we would never have to worry about someplace to live. It was during the first week of this month that we all looked around and realized maybe it was time to move on. To re-evaluate what we all wanted and what the future could be. Suddenly an opportunity arose that was simply too good to pass up.
There's no need to talk about the particulars of the deal, lets just say soon we will be applying for our first home buyers loan. The new home will have 4 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms, a very large yard, walk in closets, a laundry room that does not require you to step outside to access, and a kitchen that you can stand in the middle of and stretch out your arms as far as they can go without touching the opposite walls. Plus there will be a place for Gigi as long as she wants to stick around.
We are excited about this new place but of course we can't help but be sad a little as we prepare to leave our very first home. If it were not for Pops and the gift he as given us by letting us stay here over the years we would have missed out on so many great things the most important of which was all the precious time Mandy was able to spend with the boys due to being able to work part-time without worrying about a large house payment. We are so blessed.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Madonna played the Super Bowl tonight. I really can't stand her, but will say it wasn't half bad. I remember when she used to be considered a controversial entertainer. Now she might as well be Betty White up there singing show tunes.
# I keep seeing things made with crumbled bacon. Bacon never lasts long enough around me to have a chance be crumbled and put into something else.
First though the We Are Nots:
*No we are not pregnant.
*No we are not sick.
*No we are not getting a divorce.
What we are doing is moving. After 10 years of living in a house that used to seem as big as the Taj Mahal, it is time to start the next chapter in our lives. Pops has been more than gracious over the years, first inviting us to live here in his childhood home for a small portion of rent which was more like a maintenance fee, and then always assuring us that we would never have to worry about someplace to live. It was during the first week of this month that we all looked around and realized maybe it was time to move on. To re-evaluate what we all wanted and what the future could be. Suddenly an opportunity arose that was simply too good to pass up.
There's no need to talk about the particulars of the deal, lets just say soon we will be applying for our first home buyers loan. The new home will have 4 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms, a very large yard, walk in closets, a laundry room that does not require you to step outside to access, and a kitchen that you can stand in the middle of and stretch out your arms as far as they can go without touching the opposite walls. Plus there will be a place for Gigi as long as she wants to stick around.
We are excited about this new place but of course we can't help but be sad a little as we prepare to leave our very first home. If it were not for Pops and the gift he as given us by letting us stay here over the years we would have missed out on so many great things the most important of which was all the precious time Mandy was able to spend with the boys due to being able to work part-time without worrying about a large house payment. We are so blessed.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Madonna played the Super Bowl tonight. I really can't stand her, but will say it wasn't half bad. I remember when she used to be considered a controversial entertainer. Now she might as well be Betty White up there singing show tunes.
# I keep seeing things made with crumbled bacon. Bacon never lasts long enough around me to have a chance be crumbled and put into something else.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Not Every Time Is Game Time!
Tonight I'm talking about video games. Growing up if we wanted to play a video game we'd have to go to the arcade at the mall or there was our Nintendo which only worked if you blew on the cartridges over and over. Now they our on our phones, computers, built into our cars, they are entire channels built into our TVs that feature nothing but games that can be played at any time. My problem is that's exactly what is happening...these kids are playing them all the time!
Now I'm point the finger at myself here a little bit too when I say PARENTS ENOUGH WITH THE VIDEO GAMES ALREADY!!! I don't care if they are bored or can't sit still or don't care what's going on around them it's Church!! Church is not a place for video games. I would rather my child lay down and take a nap then sit there biting his tongue while flinging his arms in the air as he tries to get Mario over the mushroom. Sporting event's are not places for video games!! Like it or not I cringe when the crowd is screaming, the band is blasting, the game is mere points from being tied, the place is going crazy, and Timmy is oblivious to it all because his brain has been kidnapped by Angry Birds.
Again I'm just as guilt myself of this at times so no offense to those that don't think this is a big deal, but my skin just crawls every time I'm trying to get Adam involved in something and all he's interested in are two things: Can he play games on my phone and why can't he play games on my phone.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I know I didn't talk about the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the room (it's gotten way to big to be called an elephant at this point), but I promise I will at least give everyone a hint tomorrow night if not confess the whole darn thing
# Mandy, Alex, and I had a belly slap concert tonight. He raised his shirt to slap his belly then would squeal at us until we did the same.
Now I'm point the finger at myself here a little bit too when I say PARENTS ENOUGH WITH THE VIDEO GAMES ALREADY!!! I don't care if they are bored or can't sit still or don't care what's going on around them it's Church!! Church is not a place for video games. I would rather my child lay down and take a nap then sit there biting his tongue while flinging his arms in the air as he tries to get Mario over the mushroom. Sporting event's are not places for video games!! Like it or not I cringe when the crowd is screaming, the band is blasting, the game is mere points from being tied, the place is going crazy, and Timmy is oblivious to it all because his brain has been kidnapped by Angry Birds.
Again I'm just as guilt myself of this at times so no offense to those that don't think this is a big deal, but my skin just crawls every time I'm trying to get Adam involved in something and all he's interested in are two things: Can he play games on my phone and why can't he play games on my phone.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I know I didn't talk about the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the room (it's gotten way to big to be called an elephant at this point), but I promise I will at least give everyone a hint tomorrow night if not confess the whole darn thing
# Mandy, Alex, and I had a belly slap concert tonight. He raised his shirt to slap his belly then would squeal at us until we did the same.
Friday, February 03, 2012
So Much To Say So Much To Say So Much To Say!
Not much to say tonight. This could be the big weekend in terms of the major changes that are coming. Might be ready to make a big announcement this time tomorrow night. Just depends on if the stars align correctly or not. Either way things will take another turn at work on Monday. Again I can't say much now, but will definitely be able to expand on that over the next few days. I'll try not to be so vague tomorrow night I promise.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Please have a seat nobody is pregnant.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Please have a seat nobody is pregnant.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Who You Talk'n Bout Mrs. Wallace?
Today was witness to our first Parent-Teacher conference. Apparently he is a good listener. He pays close attention in class and cares about the feelings of others. He is a quick learner who enjoys math. His test scores are good and is a genuine joy to be around...yep Mrs. Wallace has high hopes for little Allen Becker....unfortunately not so much for Adam Beck who's file she mistakenly got out of order. Just kidding
Honestly though I did have to ask to make sure she was reading from the same file because at home he never listens to a word we say, could care less what's going on around him as long we stop what we are doing whenever he bellows, and at times intentionally makes things difficult because he can. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my life, but he's everything a 5 yr-old should be and has perfected the art of driving his parents crazy.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex is coughing. It's only been a few days since he got over the Hand, Foot, and Mouth. I think it's tied to him moving up at the Hill and getting to play outside. Adam had allergies really bad and we are praying this is what's going on with little bro.
Honestly though I did have to ask to make sure she was reading from the same file because at home he never listens to a word we say, could care less what's going on around him as long we stop what we are doing whenever he bellows, and at times intentionally makes things difficult because he can. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my life, but he's everything a 5 yr-old should be and has perfected the art of driving his parents crazy.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex is coughing. It's only been a few days since he got over the Hand, Foot, and Mouth. I think it's tied to him moving up at the Hill and getting to play outside. Adam had allergies really bad and we are praying this is what's going on with little bro.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Chip Chat
We had taco salad tonight and it's because of that (and the fact that I have nothing else to talk about yet promised I'd blog everyday this year) that finds me rambling about chip & dip ratios. Now when talking chips such as ruffles and say french onion dip (which just happens to be in the fridge right now calling me to come eat) things can be somewhat confusing. Too much chip/not enough dip and you're left eating a plate of chips that used to be awesome but are now just Plain Jane's. Too much dip/not enough chip and your left with either going back for more chips which throws the ratio off even further or depending on what company you are keeping at the time, resorting to just using your finger to take care of the rest which is kinda disgusting but hey we all do it.
Taco salad or nachos are a little different though because unlike a plate which features say the left side full of chip and the right side full of dip, everything is piled on top of each other. Take tonight's dinner for example you have about three layers of chips covered in ground beef, tomatoes, melted cheese, lettuce, black olives, and topped with salsa. With all the toppings there's no way the two bottom layers of chips get any coverage so you stir it and then all the stuff on top is on the bottom not to mention half is on the floor because by this point you've piled the plate so high it was hard enough to get it all on there to start with. I like to treat it like a game of Jenga attempting to pull from the bottom without disturbing the top.
Clearly I've put way to much time into thinking this out and I could possibly have a weight problem.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# This may have been one of the weirdest posts I've ever written.
Taco salad or nachos are a little different though because unlike a plate which features say the left side full of chip and the right side full of dip, everything is piled on top of each other. Take tonight's dinner for example you have about three layers of chips covered in ground beef, tomatoes, melted cheese, lettuce, black olives, and topped with salsa. With all the toppings there's no way the two bottom layers of chips get any coverage so you stir it and then all the stuff on top is on the bottom not to mention half is on the floor because by this point you've piled the plate so high it was hard enough to get it all on there to start with. I like to treat it like a game of Jenga attempting to pull from the bottom without disturbing the top.
Clearly I've put way to much time into thinking this out and I could possibly have a weight problem.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# This may have been one of the weirdest posts I've ever written.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Wide World Of Sports
Adam is ending his latest endeavor into the world of sports with the close of basketball season in the coming weeks. Soon it will be time to sign up for T-Ball thus coming full circle. I thought I'd share my thoughts on the 3 sports he's played this year.
T-Ball was my favorite though I didn't realize it at the time. The second game Adam started crying because he only wanted to bat and not play outfield, but that was the only bumped. He didn't care where you put him in the field as long as he got to play. I helped coach and really didn't mind. It was fun for both of us. Plus he got to play pitcher a couple of times.
Football immediately brings to mind collisions, contusions, and chaos. Not three things you want your 5 yr-old involved in. The great thing about football though was all the running. Offense, defense, it didn't matter as long as he could run up and down the field. It got cold a few of those nights, but Adam had a blast.
Basketball was going to be the sport we were going to be fantastic at. Adam hits nothing but net all day long at home. Come game time and the facts are basketball is an individual sport where it's acceptable to hold the ball for entire quarters at a stretch. It's not even the good kids that do it either. Some simply refuse to pass the ball.
Anyway like I said it's all almost over and soon we will be playing T-Ball again.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# I don't think I've ever met a female Kelly that was mean. Cathy's of course. Beth's more than likely. Kelly's are always cheerful though.
# Adam has been sleeping in the floor the last couple of nights. Tonight I thought he'd love to sleep in a tent...no dice, back in bed he went for some reason.
#Have you seen The Chew? It's a talk show made up of cooks all talking and making tons of recipes everyday @ 12. That's also the same time I take my lunch and I think it's the reason I'm eating everything in site for an hour.
T-Ball was my favorite though I didn't realize it at the time. The second game Adam started crying because he only wanted to bat and not play outfield, but that was the only bumped. He didn't care where you put him in the field as long as he got to play. I helped coach and really didn't mind. It was fun for both of us. Plus he got to play pitcher a couple of times.
Football immediately brings to mind collisions, contusions, and chaos. Not three things you want your 5 yr-old involved in. The great thing about football though was all the running. Offense, defense, it didn't matter as long as he could run up and down the field. It got cold a few of those nights, but Adam had a blast.
Basketball was going to be the sport we were going to be fantastic at. Adam hits nothing but net all day long at home. Come game time and the facts are basketball is an individual sport where it's acceptable to hold the ball for entire quarters at a stretch. It's not even the good kids that do it either. Some simply refuse to pass the ball.
Anyway like I said it's all almost over and soon we will be playing T-Ball again.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# I don't think I've ever met a female Kelly that was mean. Cathy's of course. Beth's more than likely. Kelly's are always cheerful though.
# Adam has been sleeping in the floor the last couple of nights. Tonight I thought he'd love to sleep in a tent...no dice, back in bed he went for some reason.
#Have you seen The Chew? It's a talk show made up of cooks all talking and making tons of recipes everyday @ 12. That's also the same time I take my lunch and I think it's the reason I'm eating everything in site for an hour.
Monday, January 30, 2012
I'm A Blockhead And I Know It!!
Not a lot going on tonight so I'm just going to skip around a bit.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex sorta realized Buttons wasn't around. I say sorta because he was playing with the door that hid the litter box and it hit him that he could push it all the way to the wall now. He stood there for like 5 minutes walking back and forth swinging the door trying to figure out what was different.
# A lot of people have asked about Adam's Acorn Bag (nut sack) so I figured I'd update what happened next.....which isn't much. Since that morning he wanted to bring them to school he really hasn't said much about them. Alex was walking around with a tin can the other day. There was something inside that was making noise but he couldn't get the lid off. He brought it to me to try and sure enough there was Adam's nut sack.
# Hand Foot & Mouth is now a 7 county epidemic in our area. We know 2-3 other people that have it that Alex has not come into contact with.
# Last but not least here is a link to a Sesame Street song parody that sent Alex going crazy tonight.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Alex sorta realized Buttons wasn't around. I say sorta because he was playing with the door that hid the litter box and it hit him that he could push it all the way to the wall now. He stood there for like 5 minutes walking back and forth swinging the door trying to figure out what was different.
# A lot of people have asked about Adam's Acorn Bag (nut sack) so I figured I'd update what happened next.....which isn't much. Since that morning he wanted to bring them to school he really hasn't said much about them. Alex was walking around with a tin can the other day. There was something inside that was making noise but he couldn't get the lid off. He brought it to me to try and sure enough there was Adam's nut sack.
# Hand Foot & Mouth is now a 7 county epidemic in our area. We know 2-3 other people that have it that Alex has not come into contact with.
# Last but not least here is a link to a Sesame Street song parody that sent Alex going crazy tonight.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
iDepressed
The kids spent the night with Gigi last night while Mandy and I tried to easy our sorrows in chocolate chip cookies and ice-cream. It was the first time we'd truly been alone and pet free in 14 years. I slept all afternoon. Not sure if that was because I was depressed over Button's passing or just tired of all the stress this new year has brought.
I've been listening to The Police and suddenly I have an urge to use my iTunes gift certificate. I'm bad about buying music when I'm depressed. I'm soaking my sorrows in ColdPlay and Death Cab. A week later I'm looking for something to help me clean house faster and it's all cry me a river songs on my iPod.
There are habits that will fade with time. Caught myself about to go fill his water bowl. Mandy went to put something over a basket of clean laundry and suddenly realized that no longer would there be a hairy cat sleeping on it the next morning. Adam asked if we would be getting a new one....it's too soon. Honestly I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to sign another 15 yr pet contract again.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Adam twice today showed that he is truly my son. The filter is just not there. Mandy asked "Did you miss me last night at Gigi's?" Without a thought "No mom. I didn't think about you at all." Gigi said 'Hi Adam. How's it going?" 'Buttons is dead. We are not getting another one."
# Alex starts his new class tomorrow morning with Mrs. Christina. She was Adam's teacher too and we love her! Knowing Alex though he's not going to just willingly accept change. Not because he hates things being different, but more so he hates not getting his way.
# I hate how the weather man strings you along the entire half hour just so you will watch the other mess in between. "So it will be hot tomorrow, but will there be rain by Tuesday? Stick around to find out." "Will Mother Nature be giving us a dusting of snow this weekend? I'll let you know after this 20 minute story on how the government is wasting your money."
I've been listening to The Police and suddenly I have an urge to use my iTunes gift certificate. I'm bad about buying music when I'm depressed. I'm soaking my sorrows in ColdPlay and Death Cab. A week later I'm looking for something to help me clean house faster and it's all cry me a river songs on my iPod.
There are habits that will fade with time. Caught myself about to go fill his water bowl. Mandy went to put something over a basket of clean laundry and suddenly realized that no longer would there be a hairy cat sleeping on it the next morning. Adam asked if we would be getting a new one....it's too soon. Honestly I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to sign another 15 yr pet contract again.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Adam twice today showed that he is truly my son. The filter is just not there. Mandy asked "Did you miss me last night at Gigi's?" Without a thought "No mom. I didn't think about you at all." Gigi said 'Hi Adam. How's it going?" 'Buttons is dead. We are not getting another one."
# Alex starts his new class tomorrow morning with Mrs. Christina. She was Adam's teacher too and we love her! Knowing Alex though he's not going to just willingly accept change. Not because he hates things being different, but more so he hates not getting his way.
# I hate how the weather man strings you along the entire half hour just so you will watch the other mess in between. "So it will be hot tomorrow, but will there be rain by Tuesday? Stick around to find out." "Will Mother Nature be giving us a dusting of snow this weekend? I'll let you know after this 20 minute story on how the government is wasting your money."
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Buttons Beck: The Great Main Coon Kitty
Today we put Buttons to rest. It was time. The Vet took one look at him and agreed that he had some major health issues. If Adam remembers him at all when he's older it will be that of a mean old cat that use to hiss and try to scratch him every time he walked into the room. Just last year he weighted 16 pounds. Today he was down to only 8. He scratched me down my arm one last time while I was getting him out of the carrier. I'm not upset. He was scared. It may sound weird but I'm fine with it not healing for awhile. I think I understand why people get tattoos. A few years back he put a 3 inch long scar on my chest. Suddenly I don't mind it so much.
He was 14 yrs old and for a long time there he was my very best friend. A house gets lonely when you're the only one in it. Mandy would be working late at the grocery store. It would just be me and my kittens Buttons & Sassy waiting for her to get home while watching late night TV. I buried him beside her under the pecan tree outside. I've already started telling the kids stories of the mighty Buttons that could jump higher than Adam is tall. He was the biggest cat in the land! He was a good listener.
Sure I'm sad, but mostly I feel old and depressed. 14 years is a very long time. It feels like I'm officially putting an end to my teenage ways, the trench coat of adulthood has finally covered me and at this particular moment it feels very heavy. Change is still in the air and it's going to be a long time before things start feeling normal again.
He was 14 yrs old and for a long time there he was my very best friend. A house gets lonely when you're the only one in it. Mandy would be working late at the grocery store. It would just be me and my kittens Buttons & Sassy waiting for her to get home while watching late night TV. I buried him beside her under the pecan tree outside. I've already started telling the kids stories of the mighty Buttons that could jump higher than Adam is tall. He was the biggest cat in the land! He was a good listener.
Sure I'm sad, but mostly I feel old and depressed. 14 years is a very long time. It feels like I'm officially putting an end to my teenage ways, the trench coat of adulthood has finally covered me and at this particular moment it feels very heavy. Change is still in the air and it's going to be a long time before things start feeling normal again.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Talking To Myself Again
Alex is finally back on the mend. Special thanks to Nani and The Gigi for helping out this week. I've been spending more time with the boys lately what with Mandy in school and me taking two days off to be with Alex. One of the things I've discovered is that contrary to what I had previously thought, apparently I'm not talking out loud as much as I think I am.
See what I thought was that when I saw Adam still sitting in his bedroom floor playing with a toy after I've clearly told him to put his clothes on, that I said out loud "Get your clothes on right this minute or we are going to be late for school!" Five minutes later I walk back in though and he's in the same spot.
Alex walks over to the stereo and starts gazing at all the wonderful buttons. I could swear I hear myself say "Don't touch. Don't touch. Alex don't touch. DON'T TOUCH!". Yet clearly I must have been saying this in my mind because the stereo came on full blast.
What I hear is:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"No. We are going to eat dinner in an hour."
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"Not yet we are cooking tonight."
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"
What is actually being said out loud:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"
The past day or so, I've started turning to the nearest person and asking if noise actually came from my mouth.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I miss holding a paycheck in my hand. These days everything is direct deposit and I gotta say it really kills some of the thrill of working a 40 hour week. I remember getting a piece of paper on Fridays that told me I had money. That it all meant something. I would go the bank, cash it, and hit the town. Of course I'd also see how much the government was taking out and would be grumbling in minutes.
# Does anybody really take things off the record when they say something is off the record? Don't ever say that to me because if anything that makes me remember something more. "Off the record let me just say that I agree with you Bill. This whole mess is the sales reps fault" From then on out all I'm going to remember is that you are on my side. And I'm going to let others know about it "Off the record" of course.
# Drew Carey is the worst game show host ever! The Price Is Right used to be the reason to stay home and watch TV. Now it's just a great way to fall asleep fast in the middle of the day.
See what I thought was that when I saw Adam still sitting in his bedroom floor playing with a toy after I've clearly told him to put his clothes on, that I said out loud "Get your clothes on right this minute or we are going to be late for school!" Five minutes later I walk back in though and he's in the same spot.
Alex walks over to the stereo and starts gazing at all the wonderful buttons. I could swear I hear myself say "Don't touch. Don't touch. Alex don't touch. DON'T TOUCH!". Yet clearly I must have been saying this in my mind because the stereo came on full blast.
What I hear is:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"No. We are going to eat dinner in an hour."
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"Not yet we are cooking tonight."
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"
What is actually being said out loud:
"Hey Dad. Can I have a snack?"
"Can I have a snack Dad?"
"I'm hungry Dad. Can I get something to eat?"
The past day or so, I've started turning to the nearest person and asking if noise actually came from my mouth.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# I miss holding a paycheck in my hand. These days everything is direct deposit and I gotta say it really kills some of the thrill of working a 40 hour week. I remember getting a piece of paper on Fridays that told me I had money. That it all meant something. I would go the bank, cash it, and hit the town. Of course I'd also see how much the government was taking out and would be grumbling in minutes.
# Does anybody really take things off the record when they say something is off the record? Don't ever say that to me because if anything that makes me remember something more. "Off the record let me just say that I agree with you Bill. This whole mess is the sales reps fault" From then on out all I'm going to remember is that you are on my side. And I'm going to let others know about it "Off the record" of course.
# Drew Carey is the worst game show host ever! The Price Is Right used to be the reason to stay home and watch TV. Now it's just a great way to fall asleep fast in the middle of the day.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
He Sure Plays A Mean Charades
It's been a rough week so far. Mandy and I both had to take a couple days off to care for Alex. Tomorrow my mom (Nani) is supposed to help cover. Today Mandy had school which meant I had Alex all day by myself and Adam from 2:30 on.
Part of Alex's path to wellness includes taking a bath saturated with Dial antibacterial soap twice a day. Alex is the best charades player in the world. He can only say a few words, but can somehow manage to get you to accomplish the most complex tasks with only a few grunts and a couple hand signs. On Tuesday he literally got me to get him a bowl, grab the box of Lucky Charms out of the top cabinet, and get him a glass of milk without saying one word.
Alex practices his talking in the bathtub. Maybe it's the acoustics in there. It sounds like gibberish at first, but if you really start to listen closely there's a pattern. Sometimes it's a song from church, sometimes it's Adam's name, tonight I think he was making fun of me. He kept shaking his head and going No No No No.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Your mind tends to wonder somewhere around the 3rd straight hour of Sesame Street and I came across a very interesting problem. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy come on at the same time on different channels. Now this isn't a problem for me because I can DVR them, however if my Grandfather were to run up against this problem you'd be able to hear him scream all the way from Linden, Al.
Part of Alex's path to wellness includes taking a bath saturated with Dial antibacterial soap twice a day. Alex is the best charades player in the world. He can only say a few words, but can somehow manage to get you to accomplish the most complex tasks with only a few grunts and a couple hand signs. On Tuesday he literally got me to get him a bowl, grab the box of Lucky Charms out of the top cabinet, and get him a glass of milk without saying one word.
Alex practices his talking in the bathtub. Maybe it's the acoustics in there. It sounds like gibberish at first, but if you really start to listen closely there's a pattern. Sometimes it's a song from church, sometimes it's Adam's name, tonight I think he was making fun of me. He kept shaking his head and going No No No No.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Your mind tends to wonder somewhere around the 3rd straight hour of Sesame Street and I came across a very interesting problem. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy come on at the same time on different channels. Now this isn't a problem for me because I can DVR them, however if my Grandfather were to run up against this problem you'd be able to hear him scream all the way from Linden, Al.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Another Post Bites The Dust
I remember some things from my childhood. Some of it is hidden deep in the recess of my brain. Making odd appearances when I least expect it. I remember riding in the car with my dad listening to Queen's Another One Bites The Dust. One birthday he sent me a cassette of the Huey Lewis and The News Sports album. I must have played it until the thing practically disintegrated. At some point in my twenties I bought the Cd.....I pulled it out last night for the first time in years. The boys have music in them. It's like music is the thing that keeps their blood flowing. The moment the beat kicked in on The Heart Of Rock N Roll they both ran into the room and started dancing.
No Chips Off The Ole Blockhead tonight. Too much bouncing around. Nothing wants to form a solid thought. This is my 25 post in 25 days.
No Chips Off The Ole Blockhead tonight. Too much bouncing around. Nothing wants to form a solid thought. This is my 25 post in 25 days.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The State Of The Union
Thanks to everyone who has gathered around the world tonight to read this evenings State of Our Union.
For starters I'd say things are going pretty good. Like every marriage we have our disagreements, but we've overcome many challenges in the past 10 years and come out on the other ended even stronger than before. My recent hair cut is reminiscent of when we first started dating so that's added a bit of a spark.
Mandy is now a full fledged student. Taking classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6-9:00. Adam is playing basketball on Tuesday nights so that means she leaves for work @ 8 in the morning and never crosses the threshold again until around 9:30 that night. Basically she's only home on Monday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Of course I'm stepping up like a proper spouse should. Cleaning house, giving the kids a bath, cooking dinner, giving medicine, being perplexed at how all of that only takes an hour and wondering how I'm going to survive the next 3 without her.
There's some big changes coming up and we've formed a committee to discuss how everything will go down. A few times a day we pass messages back and forth presenting ideas. Looking for wiggle room in hopes of finding common ground. We expect formal presentations to be made in the coming weeks.
We've done a great job lately working together to fight the War on Chaos. Recently we've made some very large headway with Adam although Alex seems to be building a stockpile of ammunition. The force is strong in that one.
We've had a few setbacks in terms of our current economic status, but we've adjusted our plans and it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not to say the recent depression is over mind you, but with a little luck the plans we've put in place will lead us to a prosperous 2013.
In closing I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has helped us stay strong. Without your support we would not be who we are today. I love you Mandy. Goodnight.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# Yes this on some level was a blantant attempt to attract more readers.
# I know I made a big deal about how I don't try to attract readers a few weeks back, but I'm now backing away from that statement slightly.
For starters I'd say things are going pretty good. Like every marriage we have our disagreements, but we've overcome many challenges in the past 10 years and come out on the other ended even stronger than before. My recent hair cut is reminiscent of when we first started dating so that's added a bit of a spark.
Mandy is now a full fledged student. Taking classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6-9:00. Adam is playing basketball on Tuesday nights so that means she leaves for work @ 8 in the morning and never crosses the threshold again until around 9:30 that night. Basically she's only home on Monday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Of course I'm stepping up like a proper spouse should. Cleaning house, giving the kids a bath, cooking dinner, giving medicine, being perplexed at how all of that only takes an hour and wondering how I'm going to survive the next 3 without her.
There's some big changes coming up and we've formed a committee to discuss how everything will go down. A few times a day we pass messages back and forth presenting ideas. Looking for wiggle room in hopes of finding common ground. We expect formal presentations to be made in the coming weeks.
We've done a great job lately working together to fight the War on Chaos. Recently we've made some very large headway with Adam although Alex seems to be building a stockpile of ammunition. The force is strong in that one.
We've had a few setbacks in terms of our current economic status, but we've adjusted our plans and it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not to say the recent depression is over mind you, but with a little luck the plans we've put in place will lead us to a prosperous 2013.
In closing I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has helped us stay strong. Without your support we would not be who we are today. I love you Mandy. Goodnight.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# Yes this on some level was a blantant attempt to attract more readers.
# I know I made a big deal about how I don't try to attract readers a few weeks back, but I'm now backing away from that statement slightly.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Love In The Time Of Sickness
If Mandy gets sick...like low down puking her guts out, running a fever of 102, death warmed over sick...I can go live on the couch for a few days give her some space and stay out of her way. If I get down just leave me alone, don't touch me, and I'll be fine soon enough. It doesn't quite work like that when talking kids and illness.
If one of the boys gets sick like Alex is now you can't just put them in a room and slip some bread and Gatorade under the door a few times a day. If they are puking, you gotta hold the bucket and hug them after. If they get a sour stomach, you gotta pinch your nose and pat their heads. In our case this week if they are highly contagious with a virus that has their entire face, arms, hands, legs, feet, and chubby cheeks covered in oozing splotches you just gotta grit your teeth and rock them to sleep like you do any other night.
Yes it means you will likely be carrying your own bucket a few days later, running to the bathroom with a sour stomach the rest of the week, or finding yourself scratching at what you pray is nothing, but if you look there in the fine print of the Mommy/Daddy contract it's right under the section covering the proper way to kiss a boo-boo. It's just part of the job.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Last night we had our first real taste of severe weather since April 27 2011. For 3 hours we were all curled up in a queen sized bed hiding under the covers. I used to be nervous during bad weather....now after seeing first hand what one can do it seems I'm scared to death.
# "Alex say I" "IIIII" "Love" "Ruve" "You" "Elmo!!!"
If one of the boys gets sick like Alex is now you can't just put them in a room and slip some bread and Gatorade under the door a few times a day. If they are puking, you gotta hold the bucket and hug them after. If they get a sour stomach, you gotta pinch your nose and pat their heads. In our case this week if they are highly contagious with a virus that has their entire face, arms, hands, legs, feet, and chubby cheeks covered in oozing splotches you just gotta grit your teeth and rock them to sleep like you do any other night.
Yes it means you will likely be carrying your own bucket a few days later, running to the bathroom with a sour stomach the rest of the week, or finding yourself scratching at what you pray is nothing, but if you look there in the fine print of the Mommy/Daddy contract it's right under the section covering the proper way to kiss a boo-boo. It's just part of the job.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Last night we had our first real taste of severe weather since April 27 2011. For 3 hours we were all curled up in a queen sized bed hiding under the covers. I used to be nervous during bad weather....now after seeing first hand what one can do it seems I'm scared to death.
# "Alex say I" "IIIII" "Love" "Ruve" "You" "Elmo!!!"
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Hand Foot & Ouch Disease
I fully believe that God will only give us what he knows we can handle at one time. Friday night we got some calming news, Saturday morning we woke up to Alex being sick with possible Hand Foot & Mouth. What was a tiny bump on his cheek yesterday turned into a massive inflammation all over his body this morning. It's never a good thing when you call the Dr. and he asks you to come in the side entrance so you don't come into contact with anyone else. Turns out little man has Impetigo which means no baby kisses for 7 days to say the least and the loss of at least one vacation day on my part.
We were very fortunate with Alex to be able to allow for him to stay home with Mandy the first year of his life. Adam started daycare at 6 weeks. There's an upside and downside to everything though. Adam has been exposed to every illness under the sun and these days on the rare occasion he says he doesn't feel good you better stand up and take notice. It's all new for Alex so the opposite is true, if it walks through those daycare doors there's a good bet he's gonna catch it.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Shout out to the looky-loos from Mountain View, California and Wilmington, Delaware.
# I have somehow jacked up my ear and can't hear good out of my right side. May be my first ear infection in 36 years.
We were very fortunate with Alex to be able to allow for him to stay home with Mandy the first year of his life. Adam started daycare at 6 weeks. There's an upside and downside to everything though. Adam has been exposed to every illness under the sun and these days on the rare occasion he says he doesn't feel good you better stand up and take notice. It's all new for Alex so the opposite is true, if it walks through those daycare doors there's a good bet he's gonna catch it.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Shout out to the looky-loos from Mountain View, California and Wilmington, Delaware.
# I have somehow jacked up my ear and can't hear good out of my right side. May be my first ear infection in 36 years.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
To Everything Turn Turn Turn
Right off the bat 2012 felt like the season of change and while that has definitely been the case so far what with Mandy starting real estate school, some changes have thrown us a bit of a curve. For the moment one of the most unexpected is the likely passing of our cat Buttons.
The story of Buttons the main coon cat starts back in September of 1998. Mandy and I had just moved into our first apartment and did what most kids our age did in that we simply went whichever direction the wind took us. That meant instead of going down the street to visit the little old lady that had placed an ad in the local newspaper to pick out a kitten for my birthday, we ended up with two. There they were curled up next to each other in a tight little ball, Mandy reaching for soon to be called Sassy and I the future Buttons. It took us two seconds to decide to take them both home.
For the longest they were our children. We took videos of them, tons of pictures, played with them constantly, bragged to our friends what our crazy pets had done the night before. We used to buy them Christmas stockings every year full of catnip toys.
When we first found out Mandy was pregnant our old children very quickly turned transformed into house cats. We tried our best to prep them for the arrival of Adam. I even ordered a cd off the web that featured babies laughing, crying, throwing tantrums in hopes of getting them used to the noise. Sadly it didn't take....Sassy who was always the princess of the house quickly lost her mind. One day within that first month we turned our back for one second and found her trying to sleep on Adam's face while he lay in his swing. Buttons took a swing at him. Things kinda went down hill from there and eventually Sassy went completely off the deep end. Soon she became sick and very erratic. We were forced to make some tough decisions.
We took Sassy's passing pretty hard. Looking back it was as if she represented a part of our youth that had suddenly vanished. For 7 years it had just been the cats and Mandy and I. Suddenly we had a house, and a new baby, and this payment, and that full time job, and....it all seemed to happen overnight.
Buttons the cat will turn 14 this year and it looks like very soon he will be leaving us. He's deaf, has lost a ton of weight, and is having bladder issues. He hates everyone at this point. This new life is too loud for him, we move too fast, stomp too much, and he's constantly being forced to find a new hiding place. Mandy and I know we should probably do the right thing, but for the moment he's comfortable.
The season of change is just beginning.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# It was nice to just lay around the house all day and take catnaps. We cleared some room from the DVR and Adam scored 7 points in his 3rd basketball game this morning.
# The best thing about living in a small town is bumping into old and new friends everywhere you go. The worst thing about living in a small town is bumping into old enemies everywhere you go.
The story of Buttons the main coon cat starts back in September of 1998. Mandy and I had just moved into our first apartment and did what most kids our age did in that we simply went whichever direction the wind took us. That meant instead of going down the street to visit the little old lady that had placed an ad in the local newspaper to pick out a kitten for my birthday, we ended up with two. There they were curled up next to each other in a tight little ball, Mandy reaching for soon to be called Sassy and I the future Buttons. It took us two seconds to decide to take them both home.
For the longest they were our children. We took videos of them, tons of pictures, played with them constantly, bragged to our friends what our crazy pets had done the night before. We used to buy them Christmas stockings every year full of catnip toys.
When we first found out Mandy was pregnant our old children very quickly turned transformed into house cats. We tried our best to prep them for the arrival of Adam. I even ordered a cd off the web that featured babies laughing, crying, throwing tantrums in hopes of getting them used to the noise. Sadly it didn't take....Sassy who was always the princess of the house quickly lost her mind. One day within that first month we turned our back for one second and found her trying to sleep on Adam's face while he lay in his swing. Buttons took a swing at him. Things kinda went down hill from there and eventually Sassy went completely off the deep end. Soon she became sick and very erratic. We were forced to make some tough decisions.
We took Sassy's passing pretty hard. Looking back it was as if she represented a part of our youth that had suddenly vanished. For 7 years it had just been the cats and Mandy and I. Suddenly we had a house, and a new baby, and this payment, and that full time job, and....it all seemed to happen overnight.
Buttons the cat will turn 14 this year and it looks like very soon he will be leaving us. He's deaf, has lost a ton of weight, and is having bladder issues. He hates everyone at this point. This new life is too loud for him, we move too fast, stomp too much, and he's constantly being forced to find a new hiding place. Mandy and I know we should probably do the right thing, but for the moment he's comfortable.
The season of change is just beginning.
Tonight's Chips Off The Old Blockhead:
# It was nice to just lay around the house all day and take catnaps. We cleared some room from the DVR and Adam scored 7 points in his 3rd basketball game this morning.
# The best thing about living in a small town is bumping into old and new friends everywhere you go. The worst thing about living in a small town is bumping into old enemies everywhere you go.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Taking the night off
We got some really good news today which I can't share other than to say God is so good. Half of a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders, a lot of prayers were answered, and now we just have to wait for the other shoe to drop. The big difference being that we now have a safety net to catch us and may decide to go ahead and jump into it instead of waiting for what seems like is going to be the inevitable. This weekend it all about rest and relaxing though so no Chips Off The Ole Blockhead tonight. We'll talk again tomorrow.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A-Corn-y Story
I don't even know if I should write what happened last night, but the thought of a 13 year old Adam being embarrassed as he reads what took place is just too much. I will warn you though that before you go any further this is most def a PG-13 kinda story.....
Adam's buddy Racer gave him a bag of acorns last night at church. Adam thought this was the most awesome thing ever and began to run around talking about how he was going to put them in the ground and grow an Ache tree. Funny but not as funny as what happened at bed time....again now's your chance to flip past this post....
I go to put Adam to bed last night and I notice he's holding the tiny black velvet bag with all the acorns in it. "What are you doing with that?" Thinking that I knew full well what his answer would be....instead I got back "That's my nut sack Dad. I'm going to sleep with my nut sack tonight." Now obviously my five year old sweet innocent Adam has no idea what this means so I choke back a burst of laughter and reply "Well let's put it on your dresser so you don't spill your nuts all over the place."
Fast forward 6 hours. I roll over in the night to the sound of what I think is Mandy talking in her sleep. "Wake up honey, you are talking out loud. You're having a bad dream." "I'm not asleep I was talking to Adam" "He was in here? Are you sure? What did he want?" I promise you I'm not making this up. With all seriousness and as matter of fact as if she had said the sky was blue Mandy said "He can't find his nut sack and wants me to help him look for it."
Fast forward a few more hours. Adam is up, we are moments away from walking out the door, and the acorns pop up again. "What do you have in your hand little man?" "It's my nut sack Dad. I want to take it to school and show my friends". At this point I'm losing it every time he says it, but I must reply in a way as to not encourage him to say it more. "Listen man I don't think nut sack is the best thing to call it......how about seed sack?" This practically sends Mandy falling to the kitchen floor in a fit of laughter. She's barely able to speak and somehow squeaks out "Call it his acorn bag!"
Mandy and I then spent the entire day letting our imaginations run wild as to what could possibly be taking place at school. "Mr. Beck are you aware your son offered to show his nut sack to Jenny Jenkins?" "Mrs. Beck did you know Adam asked if he could bring his nut sack to show and tell?" "Um yes this is the principal, Adam is in my office and he swears you hid his nut sack last night." I don't make it up folks. I just live it.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Watched Kung Foo Panda 2 tonight. One of the best movies I've seen in a while!
# Newman's Own Organic Extra Bold Coffee and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies should never be consumed after 11 P.M. I learned this lesson the hard way last night.
Adam's buddy Racer gave him a bag of acorns last night at church. Adam thought this was the most awesome thing ever and began to run around talking about how he was going to put them in the ground and grow an Ache tree. Funny but not as funny as what happened at bed time....again now's your chance to flip past this post....
I go to put Adam to bed last night and I notice he's holding the tiny black velvet bag with all the acorns in it. "What are you doing with that?" Thinking that I knew full well what his answer would be....instead I got back "That's my nut sack Dad. I'm going to sleep with my nut sack tonight." Now obviously my five year old sweet innocent Adam has no idea what this means so I choke back a burst of laughter and reply "Well let's put it on your dresser so you don't spill your nuts all over the place."
Fast forward 6 hours. I roll over in the night to the sound of what I think is Mandy talking in her sleep. "Wake up honey, you are talking out loud. You're having a bad dream." "I'm not asleep I was talking to Adam" "He was in here? Are you sure? What did he want?" I promise you I'm not making this up. With all seriousness and as matter of fact as if she had said the sky was blue Mandy said "He can't find his nut sack and wants me to help him look for it."
Fast forward a few more hours. Adam is up, we are moments away from walking out the door, and the acorns pop up again. "What do you have in your hand little man?" "It's my nut sack Dad. I want to take it to school and show my friends". At this point I'm losing it every time he says it, but I must reply in a way as to not encourage him to say it more. "Listen man I don't think nut sack is the best thing to call it......how about seed sack?" This practically sends Mandy falling to the kitchen floor in a fit of laughter. She's barely able to speak and somehow squeaks out "Call it his acorn bag!"
Mandy and I then spent the entire day letting our imaginations run wild as to what could possibly be taking place at school. "Mr. Beck are you aware your son offered to show his nut sack to Jenny Jenkins?" "Mrs. Beck did you know Adam asked if he could bring his nut sack to show and tell?" "Um yes this is the principal, Adam is in my office and he swears you hid his nut sack last night." I don't make it up folks. I just live it.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# Watched Kung Foo Panda 2 tonight. One of the best movies I've seen in a while!
# Newman's Own Organic Extra Bold Coffee and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies should never be consumed after 11 P.M. I learned this lesson the hard way last night.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Curious Case Of The Casual Curse
People say curse words. Growing up The Angry Man (who I seem to be talking about a lot lately) was a master crafter of the curse word. He would all too often combine words that had never been attached before into such prose Shakespeare himself would likely stand back and bow in amazement of such creative prose. In another life I myself became quite skilled at the art of the curse. These days while I don't speak that type of language anymore, I don't typically flinch when I hear something on TV or in a movie that would be offensive to others. Honestly not much does offend me....except for something that happened twice today.
On two separate occasions people that I barely know casually began speaking to me using lets just call it alternative language. I couldn't help but laugh at how shocked I was and afterward I realized 3 things.
On two separate occasions people that I barely know casually began speaking to me using lets just call it alternative language. I couldn't help but laugh at how shocked I was and afterward I realized 3 things.
- Where once I completely surrounded myself with people that would use such alternative language it would cause the walls to bleed, for the most part nobody around me has spoken like that in 10 years.
- For some reason I've created an imaginary line where I'm not offended by things I see and hear in my entertainment choices but yet when those same words are said by real life people standing in front of me I'm left stunned like a punch to the gut. Sometimes I just stand there not being able to believe what I just heard.
- Clearly I'm not doing enough to show those I come into contact with that I'm a Christian.
Those that committed today's offenses were not friends, they were barely acquaintances. A few emails here and there, a couple phone calls, a handshake or two every six months, yet suddenly I felt like we were a couple of frat bros dishing the smack about last nights mixer.
Tonight's Chips Off The Ole Blockhead:
# They caught the mugger!!! Here is the arrest report. He's the 15th one down. Intials REH
# This guy shook my hand today so hard I thought I was going to have to learn how to start writing with my left hand. An hour later and I was still considering left handed golf clubs, scissors, and going to get X-rays.
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