12 Rules I'm Attempting To Teach Fred
- SPITTING IS NASTY ESPECIALLY IF YOU MAKE THAT “ACKKKKKK” SOUND WITH YOUR THROAT FIRST
- FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVERYTHING. DON’T BE CAUGHT ON THE PHONE SCREAMING CURSE WORDS IN PUBLIC. YOU DON’T KNOW WHO’S AROUND OR WHAT THEIR OPINION ON THE ISSUE IS.
- BETTER YET JUST DON’T CURSE AT ALL
- LEAVE A TIP!!! NOBODY LIKEs CLEANING UP AFTER YOU ESPECIALLY IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING DO WITH YOUR BIRTH.
- MADONNA WON’T LET HER OWN KIDS LISTEN TO HER MUSIC SO WHY SHOULD YOU?
- NEVER DRINK ICE’D CAPPACINO AT 11PM AND THINK YOU WILL GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP.
- PLUTO USED TO BE PLANET BUT IT DIDN’T EAT IT’S VEGATABLES AND SHRANK. NOW IT’S BARELY A MOON
- NEVER WASTE YOUR MONEY ON A NEW ART’S MUSIC UNLESS YOU KNOW 3 TRACKS BY HEART. SAVE THE MONEY AND WAIT FOR THEIR GREATEST HITS COLLECTION.
- ONLY BASEBALL PLAYERS AND MICHAeL JACKSON IMPERSONATORS TOUCH THEIR PRIVATES IN PUBLIC.
- YOU WILL NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR MOMMA AND IF YOU ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK YOU HAVE, NEVER LET HER KNOW IT.
- WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS IT MEANS YOU ARE SHOUTING!!!
- NEVER FORGET THE CHICKEN NUGGET TAX. FOR EVERY 5 NUGGETS DADDY GETS ONE.
Wow, I'd have to say that Chicken Nugget Tax is actually pretty fair. Knowing my husband, his will probably be daddy gets one chicken nugget for every 2 or 3....unless it's eat as fast as you can before daddy eats them all!
ReplyDeleteI employ the "Tax" item both at work at home. There is the "manager tax" which can be employed when anyone has food I covet. And of course the "mommy tax" which is broad based and allows me to eat my kids food.
ReplyDeleteNow, if I could just get that whole "touching ourselves in public" thing fixed.....geeeez what is it with boys?